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The Penguins of Madagascar quotes

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The Penguins of Madagascar
All S1

S1 E15Unfinished Business

[Last lines]

Well, nothing left to do but whip up another batch of antidote.

Actually, I don't think that won't be necessary. Private likes big.

Oh, boy.

And finally, it's the trampling by a thousand rhinos! [A rhino tramples Rico who yelps] Uh, slight glitch, though, we only have one rhino. So you have to do it a thousand times. [Rico gets trampled by the rhino again]

[Some time later]

Flightless bird, you have completed the three trials! By the way, sorry about the extra rhino tramplings. I lost count.

[Rico scatting]

DDuck

Look out! [lands on Rico's face with his rear]

[goes up to Fred in the tree] You there. [Fred looks down at him and sees him holding up a drawing of King Julian and Marlene] Have you seen this Lemur and Otter?

FFred

Which one of them is the Otter?

[Looks at photo and points to Marlene] This one, obviously. Note the whiskers.

FFred

No, I-I thought that was a Cat.

Did I say "Have you seen this Lemur and Cat?"

FFred

No, that's why I thought it was strange that you drew a Cat.

It's not a Cat.

FFred

Then why does it have whiskers?

You know what, never mind the Otter.

FFred

Cat.

Whatever! [Holds the drawing up again] Have you seen the Lemur?

FFred

What's a Lemur?

[Turns around and walks away] I think we're done here.

[hears Skipper wheeze and cough, followed by a bucket being kicked] Skipper's... gone? It-it-it can't be! [jumps off] What'll we do?

We'll honour him the way he would've wanted... by soldiering on like men. [salutes]

[Cut to all three bawling in HQ; Kowalski is hugging Private while Rico spits out a picture of Skipper]

Why, why, WHYYYYYYY!?!?

[after Dr. Blowhole and he stopped laughing maniacally] Question: why are we laughing?

Question: how did the prisoner escape?! [Julien leaps on him]

Prisoner escaped?! Is he dangerous?

[annoyed] No, and apparently, he isn't very bright.

You'll appreciate this, Kowalski. I've installed a lair Theater System, High definition with surround sound. Exre-e-emely spendy.

[slightly angry] Oh, why do the bad guys always get the good stuff?

I am so glad you could all join me to witness history. I am, of course, especially pleased that my fli-i-i-ghtless foes graced us with their presence.

[annoyed] Wouldn't miss it for the world.

There's nothing good on Tely tonight anyway.

[hovering over Private] Well, Private, here's a little show I whipped up. It's called:

CVComputer Voice

Ring of Fire.

It is fitting that I returned to the very aqua theater where I performed tricks for the duller humans. Oh, how it made me bitter.

Sorry. Did he say "bitter" or "better"?

Hard to say; the sound really bounces around in here.

No, that would be the high ceilings.

My humiliation in the Ring of Fire became my inspiration. In the Frozen North, we've constructed a vast circle of certainly surprising devices that tap into the heat of the Earth's core. [four drill-like devices break through the ice, glowing]

Oh, come on. [Dr. Blowhole zooms over to Skipper]

Do you mind?! I'm just getting to the good part! It's re-e-ealy quite a shocker.

It's so obvious. Humiliated by the humans-

-activate the Ring of Fire-

-melt the Arctic-

[Rico babbles]

Well, how did we do, punk?

[slightly surprised] You're... in the ball park.

If you ask me, the not pretty part was the bad guy running away like a scaredy baby. He was no match for me, Double Agent Spy Guy!

[laughs] You're kidding, right?

No, Marlene, you are wrong again. Shut it.

I helped.

[in disbelief] Julien the double agent saves the world? Come on. [leaves]

[stammers flustered] So, I face danger and the adventure of a lifetime, and nobody will ever know about it?

Welcome to my world. That makes you an honorary penguin.

Does that mean I am your BFF?

Uh... We'll keep that code on the Q.T.

[runs past] King Julien is a buffalo firefighter!

Private, do you honestly like Skipper's monkfish surprise?

[trance] No. It tastes like elephant sweat, but everyone pretends to like it to spare Skipper's fragile ego.

[despaired] My whole life... is a lie!

[after being submerged in toy dolls] I confess to everything! My father was not a talking water cycle! [is submerged again] I cheat at whistling! [makes raspberries]

BRBuck Rockgut

These snitches don't know anything. They're just a bunch of "small potatoes."

It's true! I am also secretly a potato. OK, that one was a lie. I just wanted the ropes off, you know?

FFred

I've always wanted to ride in a box. You know, they got cardboard in the inside, too.

[after realizing Buck Rockgut was crazy] Well, maybe we left our paranoia caps on a little too long.

I do feel bad for the old guy. He's wasted decades chasing an enemy that probably doesn't even exist. [the penguins glide on their stomachs back to the zoo; a telescope appears out of a bush and reveals an underground lair]

RSRed Squirrel

[pushing the record button on a tape recorder] Red Squirrel's log. Special Agent Rockgut has been dispos-sed of. [turns his chair around] Time to get to work. [laughs maniacally and leaps toward a metal door, but crashes into it] Stupid eye-patch.

FKFuture Kowalski(s)

Private/Skipper, you've got to stop me!!

[in response to the first future Kowalski] Um... okay. Kowalski, stop, please.

[in response to and kicks the second future Kowalski] There, you're stopped.

FKFuture Kowalski(s)

No, not me, me! That me!

PSPrivate/Skipper

There's 2 of you?

Private, listen to me. I have a Kowalski from the future who--

You have a future Kowalski? I have a future Kowalski! And mine says it must be destroyed!

Well, mine says it must be saved.

Oh, dear! Which future Kowalski do we listen to?

I say... the one that lets you slap a hippie!

These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Penguins of Madagascar pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.