TV show quotes
[kneeling down at the statue of liberty sunken in snow cone shavings] Kowalski, you maniac! You did it. [pounding on the floor] You finally did it.
Yeah, but you got to admit, these are pretty good snow cones. [picking up snow cone offering to Skipper]
Yeah, totally worth it. [licking on snow cone]
When they blow up the shot, we are going to be plastered across every billboard and bus stop in Manhattan.
Oh, dear! Our cover will be blown!
Well, it gets worse. Skipper, you better have a look at this. [hands Skipper his binocluars]
[looks closer at the photo] What? I don't see-- Wait. What is that stuck to my foot? Is that...?
It is. Toilet tissue.
T.P. foot?! Insult to injury!
Comparing it to this tissue sample, I would say it is two-- no, three-ply! So, you know, there's... that.
[snaps at Stacy and Becky] Oh, my gosh, will you guys stop badgering me?!
[Stacy and Becky are shocked at Marlene's statement. They look at each other, and become furious.]
"BADGER?!"
Oh, I wish you hadn't said that.
Is that what you think badgers do, Marlene?! [close-up] BADGER?!
[gasps and covers her mouth in shock] I so didn't mean it that way! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean--!
You said it, Marlene! So you must have meant it!
Calm down, Becky, find your happy space! She didn't mean to spew hateful badger stereotypes!
DO YOU THINK BADGERS BADGER, MARLENE?! HUH?! DO YA?! DO YA?! DO YA?! DO YA?!
No, no, I was just saying I don't want to play any more silly games, that's all.
[furiously turns to Marlene] Silly...?
Ohh...
[At the Lemur Habitat, wooden debris is seen falling from the sky from Rico's Explosion]
That was the most "awesome-est" thing I have ever seen that wasn't me!
[Rico laughs with joy at being able to blow something up]
Rico! [The other Penguins show up at the Lemur Habitat, all looking angry] Who authorized that billboard detonation, hmm?!
Who authorized anybody to care? Ha! The shiny face sign is gone, and there was exploding! Haha! High-five the awesome baby!
Alright! [high-fives with Julien]
[to Skipper with reminding words] You did tell him to take care of King Julien's problem...
You know? I can think of many other things that also could use a good "Kabooming," if you know what I mean!
[Rico tingles all over while giving a content shudder of ecstasy at the thought]
Whoa, Ringtail! There's a reason we don't let Rico go wild with the kaboom. He needs a guiding hand to pull him back before things go too far-- [Rico and Julien then doze off from Skipper's warning about Rico's problem, instead imagining what they can blow up by constantly repeating the phrase "Kaboom" in their heads] --fiery end of life as we know it! Comprende?
[monotoned] Kaboom! Kaboom!
[regains consciousness] Uh-heh, I mean, of course! It is unwise that we two shall Kaboom together [winks to Rico] ever again.
Why are you winking?
Because, I'm... allergic to, uh... Shut up, okay?
[Julien pushes The Penguins out of his habitat]
[Inside the Lemur Habitat, Julien and Rico are now in front of Julien's throne, which has been rigged with some explosives]
You are my minister of awesome!!
YAA-HOO-HOOOO!! [high-fives Julien]
[The other penguins shortly arrive after]
[demandingly angry] Rico! Explain yourself, soldier!
Ah! Check it out! You remember my old, boring, and lame throne?
[agreeing with Julien] Eh?
Now, thanks to the crazy penguin with the sick skills, it explodes like a rock-and-roller concert every time you say the word "Julien!"
[As Julien says his name, a shower of fireworks shoots up from the devices on his throne]
[rock star-esque voice] AAAAAAAAAH, YEAH!!!
Move in hard and fast, men! Rico's a danger to himself and others. We never leave a madman behind.
Haha! Too late, you silly penguin! Already he is expanding my kingdom with the most "mayhem-iest" destructo machine ever! Hahaha!-- [Just as Julien starts laughing, Rico is heard making a buzzing noise from Julien's throne and is seen shuddering violently] Okay, why is he just standing there?
[Rico's shuddering turns even more violently]
YOU MANIAC! YOU LET HIM GO TOO FAR!! He's built up too much psychotic pressure!
Too much... what?
Don't you see? RICO IS THE DESTRUCTO MACHINE!!
[Inside the Lemur Habitat, Rico, now completely insane, proceeds to cause all sorts of chaos. This includes destroying Julien's throne and regurgitating all sorts of items everywhere. His items cause a giant crack in Julien's concrete pedestal and destroys it. Rico then proceeds to attack several nearby items such as trees and bamboo inside the Lemur habitat. All the while, there are explosions being seen from inside the habitat, to Julien's horror]
[After Rico's rampage has caused destruction to the Lemur Habitat]
[devastated] My... kingdom...
You did the right thing, Julien... Eventually... When you had no other choice... Um... Good job?
[delighted] Look how roomy it is now! Finally, a habitat fit for a king! Come, Maurice, let us wallow in the luxurious nothing!
Hooray for nothing!
[Julien and the others leave to observe their "new" habitat as Private goes to join the other Penguins]
I was handling it just fine, until you came charging in here like a herd of angry rhinos! [gets trampled by a stampede of rhinos] At least I didn't say like a herd of angry elephants. [gets trampled by a stampede of elephants] Okay, okay, but at least I didn't say a city bus. [gets run over by a city bus] Okay. I see what I did there. But at least I didn't say--
Nothing. You didn't say nothing, and you didn't think nothing.
Despite Skipper's double negatives, I trust our point is becoming clear.
OK, guys. That's 9:00! Unbolt the doors...
[The store doors are packed with many people]
....and stand back!
[A store employee and a horde of angry people start rampaging for the new Chatty Miss Perky doll. One person runs on Rico, Kowalski ducks and screams, and a person picks up Private. Private farts on that person's face, blowing his hat off.]
Oooh.
[referring to Private] Talking penguin? [he shakes him] What is this? 2005?
[The man tosses Private back on the floor]
Aaaaaahhhhh!
[He crashes on the floor joining the other penguins. On the empty aisle shelf, the Chatty! sign from the doll's logo, hangs briefly, then falls. The penguins are beat up from the fight. Rico is on a tricycle wheel hanging upside down. Skipper sits up, his eyes rolling dizzily as he smiles goofily.]
[exhausted] Maybe at a different toy store?
[Later, at another toy store, Skipper is seen screaming because of the same doll rampage and he gets kicked by a person. Private is stepped on his head, Rico is squashed by a man's shoe. A person kicks Kowalski, crashing into the other penguins.]
[woozy] Perhaps direct from the factory?
What in the name of incense and peppermints?! [opens the bead curtains, sees Rico, and is horrified] No... NO... NOOOOOOOO!!!
What is it, Skipper?!
[gasps in horror]
He's gone... HIPPIE. [Rico is shown dressed in hippie attire and playing the bongos next to Ms. Perky]
[Skipper is discussing the value of the diamond necklace.]
Yes, the kind of riches that turns men into animals and animals into… Kowalski what’s more savage than animals?
Hmmm… malfunctioning garbage disposals?
C’mon, you’re not even trying.
This red line shows the frustration level of a really smart person forced to take orders from some dunderbrained boob. As you can see, the frustration just keeps rising, and rising, and rising. I mean, why don't they put the smart guy in charge, huh?! IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE! SOMETHING HAS GOT TO GIVE, PEOPLE!!! AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS?!
What happened to the freedom of changing? What happened to the rights of the peoples? I thought this was France!
America.
No, really. I seriously thought this was France. I've been looking for some decent crepes for, like, three months.
Curse you, internet! 28,000 cat videos, zero useful information.
Isn't it a bit fishy that Santa's just strolling about on Christmas Eve, with no reindeer, or sleigh, and he's using an ELEVATOR?!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Penguins of Madagascar pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
