If you ask me, the not pretty part was the bad guy running away like a scaredy baby. He was no match for me, Double Agent Spy Guy!
[laughs] You're kidding, right?
No, Marlene, you are wrong again. Shut it.
[in disbelief] Julien the double agent saves the world? Come on. [leaves]
[stammers flustered] So, I face danger and the adventure of a lifetime, and nobody will ever know about it?
SkipperWelcome to my world. That makes you an honorary penguin.
Does that mean I am your BFF?
Skipper
Uh... We'll keep that code on the Q.T.
[runs past] King Julien is a buffalo firefighter!
Skipper
[after realizing Buck Rockgut was crazy] Well, maybe we left our paranoia caps on a little too long.
I do feel bad for the old guy. He's wasted decades chasing an enemy that probably doesn't even exist. [the penguins glide on their stomachs back to the zoo; a telescope appears out of a bush and reveals an underground lair]
RSRed Squirrel
[pushing the record button on a tape recorder] Red Squirrel's log. Special Agent Rockgut has been dispos-sed of. [turns his chair around] Time to get to work. [laughs maniacally and leaps toward a metal door, but crashes into it] Stupid eye-patch.
FKFuture Kowalski(s)
Private/Skipper, you've got to stop me!!
[in response to the first future Kowalski] Um... okay. Kowalski, stop, please.
Skipper
[in response to and kicks the second future Kowalski] There, you're stopped.
FKFuture Kowalski(s)
No, not me, me! That me!
PSPrivate/Skipper
There's 2 of you?
Skipper
Private, listen to me. I have a Kowalski from the future who--
You have a future Kowalski? I have a future Kowalski! And mine says it must be destroyed!
Skipper
Well, mine says it must be saved.
Oh, dear! Which future Kowalski do we listen to?
Skipper
I say... the one that lets you slap a hippie!
Skipper
[kneeling down at the statue of liberty sunken in snow cone shavings] Kowalski, you maniac! You did it. [pounding on the floor] You finally did it.
Yeah, but you got to admit, these are pretty good snow cones. [picking up snow cone offering to Skipper]
Skipper
Yeah, totally worth it. [licking on snow cone]
When they blow up the shot, we are going to be plastered across every billboard and bus stop in Manhattan.
Oh, dear! Our cover will be blown!
Well, it gets worse. Skipper, you better have a look at this. [hands Skipper his binocluars]
Skipper
[looks closer at the photo] What? I don't see-- Wait. What is that stuck to my foot? Is that...?
Skipper
T.P. foot?! Insult to injury!
Comparing it to this tissue sample, I would say it is two-- no, three-ply! So, you know, there's... that.
[At the Lemur Habitat, wooden debris is seen falling from the sky from Rico's Explosion]
That was the most "awesome-est" thing I have ever seen that wasn't me!
[Rico laughs with joy at being able to blow something up]
Skipper
Rico! [The other Penguins show up at the Lemur Habitat, all looking angry] Who authorized that billboard detonation, hmm?!
Who authorized anybody to care? Ha! The shiny face sign is gone, and there was exploding! Haha! High-five the awesome baby!
Alright! [high-fives with Julien]
[to Skipper with reminding words] You did tell him to take care of King Julien's problem...
You know? I can think of many other things that also could use a good "Kabooming," if you know what I mean!
[Rico tingles all over while giving a content shudder of ecstasy at the thought]
Skipper
Whoa, Ringtail! There's a reason we don't let Rico go wild with the kaboom. He needs a guiding hand to pull him back before things go too far-- [Rico and Julien then doze off from Skipper's warning about Rico's problem, instead imagining what they can blow up by constantly repeating the phrase "Kaboom" in their heads] --fiery end of life as we know it! Comprende?
RJRico & Julien
[monotoned] Kaboom! Kaboom!
[regains consciousness] Uh-heh, I mean, of course! It is unwise that we two shall Kaboom together [winks to Rico] ever again.
Because, I'm... allergic to, uh... Shut up, okay?
[Julien pushes The Penguins out of his habitat]
[Inside the Lemur Habitat, Julien and Rico are now in front of Julien's throne, which has been rigged with some explosives]
You are my minister of awesome!!
YAA-HOO-HOOOO!! [high-fives Julien]
[The other penguins shortly arrive after]
Skipper
[demandingly angry] Rico! Explain yourself, soldier!
Ah! Check it out! You remember my old, boring, and lame throne?
[agreeing with Julien] Eh?
Now, thanks to the crazy penguin with the sick skills, it explodes like a rock-and-roller concert every time you say the word "Julien!"
[As Julien says his name, a shower of fireworks shoots up from the devices on his throne]
[rock star-esque voice] AAAAAAAAAH, YEAH!!!
Skipper
Move in hard and fast, men! Rico's a danger to himself and others. We never leave a madman behind.
Haha! Too late, you silly penguin! Already he is expanding my kingdom with the most "mayhem-iest" destructo machine ever! Hahaha!-- [Just as Julien starts laughing, Rico is heard making a buzzing noise from Julien's throne and is seen shuddering violently] Okay, why is he just standing there?
[Rico's shuddering turns even more violently]
Skipper
YOU MANIAC! YOU LET HIM GO TOO FAR!! He's built up too much psychotic pressure!
Don't you see? RICO IS THE DESTRUCTO MACHINE!!
[Inside the Lemur Habitat, Rico, now completely insane, proceeds to cause all sorts of chaos. This includes destroying Julien's throne and regurgitating all sorts of items everywhere. His items cause a giant crack in Julien's concrete pedestal and destroys it. Rico then proceeds to attack several nearby items such as trees and bamboo inside the Lemur habitat. All the while, there are explosions being seen from inside the habitat, to Julien's horror]
I was handling it just fine, until you came charging in here like a herd of angry rhinos! [gets trampled by a stampede of rhinos] At least I didn't say like a herd of angry elephants. [gets trampled by a stampede of elephants] Okay, okay, but at least I didn't say a city bus. [gets run over by a city bus] Okay. I see what I did there. But at least I didn't say--
Skipper
Nothing. You didn't say nothing, and you didn't think nothing.
Despite Skipper's double negatives, I trust our point is becoming clear.
[Skipper is discussing the value of the diamond necklace.]
Skipper
Yes, the kind of riches that turns men into animals and animals into… Kowalski what’s more savage than animals?
Hmmm… malfunctioning garbage disposals?
Skipper
C’mon, you’re not even trying.
Skipper
[after ruining Christmas for the younger animals] What have I done?
[The real Santa appears.]
SSanta
Well, for starters, you roughed up a dozen of my deputies and helped wreck the world's most famous Christmas tree. And I thought I had a busy night.
[Willing to see Shauna, Private veers to the right and blatantly avoids the Deli and descends to the right ground.]
Skipper
Uh? Kowalski, what’s on the right side of the Deli?
I believe that would be Gunnerson’s Home of Rusty Bear Traps.
[Private falls there and shouts in pain as the sound of bear traps snapping is heard.]
The Penguins of Madagascar · 78 quotes
