Huh? Those are some weird disguises for feudal villagers.
PSPatrick and Squidina
[dumb laughing] AHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
[The camera zooms into the candy that SpongeMonster is eating. Patrick and Squidina drool.]
Okay, this is the last house in the neighborhood, and our last chance to get candy, so let's get it right!
[They take a deep breath.]
PSPatrick and Squidina
[loudly] Trick or treat!
Trick? Treat? Threaten me and demand a bribe, will you? Patgor, let 'er rip! [smashes door shut]
PPatgor
Yes, master! [dumps oatmeal off castle, covering Patrick and Squidina]
Me-flavored oatmeal! [bites self]
Pull yourself together! We didn't come here for oatmeal! That candy will be ours!
Come on. Where's that candy?
[Plankenstein is about to eat some of the candy. Squidina grabs him instead and looks at him.]
Ooh, score! A jelly bean!
[Patrick eats Plankenstein, who screams. Patrick sticks out his tongue and sees him, then screams. Squidina starts screaming. Their disguise falls on top of SpongeMonster, making them all scream. They crash and all fall out of the disguise. SpongeMonster holds Patrick and Squidina as Plankenstein drops out of the sky.]
Good work, SpongeMonster. Now give those interlopers the ol' [making throwing gesture] heave-ho!
I don't know, but I got us candy!
Ooh, oh, boy! I'm gonna eat all the Nut Cracklers first! Ooh, or the Tropical Fruit Fuzzies! No, wait! The Cocoa Chunkers!
Squid and starfish": Trick or treat!
[Patrick and Squidina scream, dropping the candy behind and running away. The costumes open up to reveal Cecil as the squid and Bunny as the starfish.]
Gosh, do you think we're doing this right?
We must be. We've gotten candy from every kid tonight.
Maybe we should save some for Patrick and Squidina?
[They pause for a moment.]
CBCecil and Bunny
Nah! [laughing]
[They dive into the house and eat the candy.]
[in the ending of this episode]
CCarolers
♪ We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas... ♪
[The castle is already covered in snow.]
[off-screen] Patgor, battle stations! Boil up a cauldron of eggnog!
PPatgor
[off-screen] Yes, master.
[The text "MERRY CHRISTMAS" appears in red.]
FNFrench Narrator
Merry Christmas. [evil laugh]
Hey, Patrick. Didn't you say there were 11 puppies.
[looks, then shrugs] I don't know. Math is hard.
Look, there's only three puppies now.
[looking around] Oh, where'd the other 12 go?
I don't know. [grabs Patrick's shirt collar] And let's never take our eyes off... [looks behind, gasps] THE PUPPIES! THEY'VE BEEN TOILET-NAPPED!!! What do we do?
PSPatrick and Squidina
[jump up and scream] Go get Mom! [run off]
GRGrim Reaper
Curse that GrandPat Star, [crumbles water cup] eluding me for centuries. I'll get him one of these days.
ICIce cream man
Hmm. [bell dings, gets idea] Hey.
FGFentin, Gladys, the Grim Reaper, and Squidward
Huh?
ICIce cream man
[points to them] You all hate the Star family?
FGFentin, Gladys, the Grim Reaper, and Squidward
Oh, yeah. / Uh-huh, uh-huh.
ICIce cream man
[stands on table] Well, so do I. I say we team up and finally get revenge on them, once and for all!
FGFentin, Gladys, and the Grim Reaper
[raise hands] Yeah!
SSquidward
Yeah! Yeah, that's a good idea!
[appears under Walter] You know, the Chum Bucket is a great place to hatch a revenge scheme. It's also a great place to [takes out chum] buy chum, [points to them] which none of you did! You bums get out of here! [points to table] And leave those free waters!
[The episode opens with a shot of the Star house at Christmas. Snowmen shaped like Patrick and Squidina are in the front yard. Snowflakes fall. Squidina is seen with a candy cane in her mouth, writing at a desk and putting papers on a stack. She writes on the typewriter and pushes it back, then puts more papers on the stack. She pushes the typewriter back, spits out the candy cane, and drinks coffee as she types with her feet. The typewriter pings as different things are seen on her desk as time passes: half-eaten Christmas cookies, an empty cup of coffee, a soda cup, then two cups together, and another empty coffee cup. The stack of paper grows until it is much bigger. Squidina puts a final paper on top and flips it over, revealing the title "Squidina's Holidaze Special." Cut to Patrick, wearing a Christmas sweater, taking a gift out from under the tree. Patrick shakes the present, grunting, Squidina taps him on the shoulder]
[panics] Oh! [hides gift behind his back] Santa, please don't put me on the naughty list. I-- [sees Squidina, who looks tired] Oh, oh, it's just you. Ooh, are you okay?
[tired] It took three consecutive all-nighters and more coffee than a 3rd grader should ever drink, [holds out script] but I finished my script for the school play just in time.
Ooh. [throws away present, grabs at script] I wanna pretend to read it! [looks in his palms] Huh?
Sorry, Patrick, this is my only copy, and if anything happened to it, I'd probably fail [yawns] drama class. [Patrick reaches out for the script] So please... don't touch it. [collapses]
[pokes her with his foot] Nudge. Nudge. Oh, I hope Santa isn't watching. He wouldn't mind if I took a little peek. [takes the script, giggles, knocks into a table with a coffee cup] Huh? [The cup falls on the paper and soaks it. Patrick screams, looks around] Gotta clean it, gotta clean it! [wrings the coffee into his mouth, gargles, puts the script on a table] I'm sure it'll be fine [takes out a hair dryer] once I dry it. [The dryer blows the papers around the room. Patrick panics, knocks the table away, and grabs the papers. He peels one off a lollipop painting.]
[Patrick takes a page as it falls on her. He pulls one away from Ouchie.]
[placing the papers together] Whew! That was almost a disaster. [Zoom out to show he put the papers in a shredder. Patrick screams, pulls the papers away and they land in a woodchipper, screams]
[gasps] I can still fix this! [forms the paper scraps into a pinata, then a trophy, then a statue of him holding a chicken]
[Cut to the outside of the house as construction noises are heard. Slappy comes out of the Patrick snowman. Patrick is seen welding something in the garage.]
[lifts mask] I can't believe it worked. [the script is restored, he throws the blowtorch away and takes the script] All fixed.
[Smoke comes from the right side of the garage as a smoke alarm blares. A loud crash and a burst of smoke appear as Patrick gets back to Squidina and puts the script in her hand.]
Fade out, end of dream. Where am I? [looks at script] What's this? [gasps] The play! We're gonna be late. Come on, Patrick. [drags him] Let's go!
DPDevil Plankton
You don't wanna let all that turkey go to waste, do you?
ODOther devil Plankton
[is eating turkey with his pitchfork on Plankton's other shoulder] That would be a sin. [holds up his fork as his devils do as well] You're right! Now, how do I put this? Ah! "Don't be jerky, eat the stinkin' turkey." [eats the turkey piece, Dartfish family gasp]
TTTeensy Tom
It rhymed, so maybe it's true.
SDSister Dartfish
[gasps] It did rhyme.
MDMommy Dartfish
He has a point.
DDDaddy Dartfish
A little turkey couldn't hurt, right?
[Cut to the Dartfish family chowing down on the turkey, with the turkey skeleton exposed.]
TTTeensy Tom
[burps] Wow, Pickle, that was delicious.
[rubs Teensy Tom's head] Glad ya liked it, kid.
MDMommy Dartfish
I've never felt so nourished.
DDDaddy Dartfish
I couldn't eat another bite. Unless that bite was dessert!
[Plankton giggles while his devils cackle]
