The Oblongs Season 1 quotes

Helga, stop eating your fringe.

Helga

You shouldn't have made it out of bacon.

Why should we help you when you've been a fantastic ass?!

I know about the attitude, but how do I not care about what people think?

Pickles

Well, I have a great husband and great kids and you all think I'm cool.

Are you saying I should marry Dad?

Bob

You just ruined what could have been a very poignant family moment.

Pickles

Should we hug anyway?

I don't care.

Pickles

That's my boy.

We must rescue Vajora from the evil Testiclies. I could ride my horse, Fallopius, or take my boat, the Cervix.

But we don't know if she's being held in Scroter's castle or the vas deferens forest!

Fallopius, to the cave! [rides Scottie like a horse]

Pickles

[talking about Milo & Beth fighting over the remote] There's only one way to settle this.

Bob

That's right!

Pickles

Beth, Milo, you both have to fight for it! To distribute the height differences, Beth, you can use a sock full of nickels!

Bob

Morphine... what a rascal!

Pickles

Why can't you be like your brother and QUIETLY read pornography?

Biff

I prefer to stay focused on the manliness of sports. Coach always says heart, obedience, motivation, opportunity... H - O - M - O.

That spells 'homo'.

Biff

You don't know how to spell!

Helga

[about Milo's sports drink, Manic] Looks like pee, tastes like crap!

Maybe we shouldn't say "Tastes like crap."

Milo, these days you need a slick marketing campaign to succeed.

Hail Milo! Hail Milo!

Hail Satan!... Sorry, got swept up in the moment.

This is just donkey's blood... [tastes blood] She-donkey.

Debbie

[gasps] Crashers! And that fat girl has my locket!

Helga

Debbie! It's me, your best friend, Helga... and I'm not fat, I'm zaftig.

[Grunts] I can't get the locket off. The clasp is covered with fat.

Helga

Zaftig! It's covered by zaftig.