[cornered by Batman and Robin.] How about that, Bats? You broke my face and got seven years of bad luck! Are you going to try for fourteen, or are you going to raise that anchorman out of the ocean?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[chuckles maniacally.] Breaking news! [sinister.] And if you broke it, you have to pay for it. And now the weather: partially ga-ga with a fifty percent chance of schizophrenia! [lurches away, cackling.]
I'd better slow down, try to figure out logically what's going on here...
(sound of ticking, cuckoo clock sound, something breaking)
Whoa, that hurt! Okay, we'll come back to that...
[peaking through a bathroom window.] Excuse me, lady. I seem to be having a wee bit of an identity crisis... [the occupant screams and runs away.] Okay, I love you, buh-bye!
[rooting through clothing at a thrift store.] No. Nope. No. No! [tries on a plastic Adam West-style Batman mask, then discards it.] It's been done. Any suggestions?
TSThrift Store Clerk
[deadpan.] With your coloring, I'd go green.
Gotcha.
What about the boa? Too much?
TSThrift Store Clerk
Not for you, baby.
[intense.] I want to strike terror into the hearts of criminals.
TSThrift Store Clerk
Cash or plastic?
[The Creeper slaps the Batman mask down on the counter.]
Plastic! [manic chuckle.]
TSThrift Store Clerk
Ha. Funny.
I can't believe it: the buzz on the street is that someone's stealing my routine! Isn't there any honor among thieves?
[confronting the Joker's goons.] I know you. Last time we met, you were working for - dramatic pause - THE JOKER!
HMHenchman Mo
We don't know nothin' about no Joker, creep.
Creep? Creep?! [beat.] I like it. My new name: the Creep? Nah wait, too negative...I have it! I am...drumroll, please. [Long pause.] I said "Drumroll, please"! [he drums on one of the goons' heads.]
HCHenchman Cur
Hey!
I am... the Creeper! [grabs goon.] So tell me, from one sociopath to another, where's the Joker?
HLHenchman Lar
His girlfriend's throwin' him a party, invitation only.
Darn it! Left the invite in my other pants! So, what's the address again?
Hey! You're the creep who's been stealing Mister J's act!
Not me. I'm one of a kind, toots.
What do you want?
The inside story on the Joker. Also your phone number. [flirtatious growl.]
We have to get him out.
Got a mop?
Whoo! I like a girl who plays rough.
But... she just tried to kill you!
You're young. You'll learn.
Who are you?
[sinister] They call me... "Yellow-Skinned Wacky Man"! But I prefer "the Creeper."
Call Arkham, quick.
Jilted madman stalks crazy clown girl - film at eleven!
"Film at eleven"? You don't think... ?
The chemicals in the vat could have interacted with Joker's laughing gas. And he had Ryder's credit card.
You mean... That's Jack Ryder? The news guy?
What's left of him.
[confronting the Joker.] Wow! It DOES strike terror into the hearts of criminals!
He's the creep who's stealing your act!
And that's not all, Mr. Happy! [grabs Harley Quinn and starts slobbering over her.] I'm stealing your girl, too!
I swear, Mr. J, I didn't encourage him.
[yanks her back into his arms.] That's okay, pooh. I know you're a one-man loon.
[re. The Creeper.] Which way did he go?
That way.
Aww. Sweetie got a boo-boo?
Aww. Creepo got a concussion?
He's a lunatic!
I don't mind telling you, I really hate these check-ups. If it weren't part of the police physical, I wouldn't be here at all.
DDentist
Oh, come now, Commissioner. What in this miserable world is more beautiful...
[turns around]
...THAN A NICE, BIG SMILE? (laughs)
[Gordon bolts up from the chair, but is lassoed back in by a shot from Harley.]
Naughty, naughty. Jump around like that and the doctor won't give you a lollipop.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The New Batman Adventures pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.