[Sees Maxwell and Fran in bed] AHHHHHHH!!!!
[jolted awake] C.C.? What the devil are you doing in here?
What am I doing in here?? Wh-what is...SHE doing in here?!
[Sees he's in bed with a woman] Oh...[Looks to see who it is] Ahh! Ms. Fine!
[Stirs awake, looks at Maxwell sleepily] Oh, I'm having that dream again...[Reaches out and touches Maxwell's cheek, realizes it's actually him] AHH! MR. SHEFFIELD! [Gathers the bedsheets around herself while scrambling out of the bed] WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN–[Looks around] your room?
[To a wide-eyed, shocked C.C.] Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you.
WOULD YOU ALL KINDLY GET OUT OF MY ROOM?!
[Follows a still shocked C.C. out] Happy Birthday, Ms. Babcock...
Listen I can't really explain it, but all I know is that the next morning my ears always itch. (Maxwell looks confused) Oh what, like you don't have a thing?
Any particular song or do you just scat? (eating a scone)
Really? Jee I've been working here for two years and never once heard ya sing- (realizes, Maxwell looks at her annoyed) Eeeh, great scones.
. . .
After all nothing happened right?
Right. (They smile, and both walk to opposite sides of the wall, both looking in a mirror)
(starts to sing while Fran itches her ears) "Hey there, Georgy girl, what a nice day to-" (both realize)
I want to take care of you for the rest of your life.... It would give me great pleasure if you would...
...let me buy you a condominium.
A condo?! That's what you want to give me for my future?!! I have never been so— Would it include carpet and plantation shutters?
Pets okay? 'Cause I probably want a cat.
Whatever you want. So... happy?
[Strangely satisfied] Yeah.
[Overhearing, shaking his head] Oy! This is gonna take forever.
[When Niles serves CC a plate of breakfast]
Niles. My eggs are all dried up.
C.C., tell me, did you have one of these "Sweet 16's"?
Oh, please, all those little snot noses trying to outdo each other! I didn't want one.
I feel terrible. I should have defended you yesterday but I totally wimped out.
Oh, sweetie... sweetie, listen. All you did was pass out, puke, and pee in your pants. You were in Central Park. You fit right in.
(pushing Brighton past Mr. Sheffield's office) Ask yourself punk, do you feel lucky?
Oh, the expert is teaching Brighton how to repel a man.
You wouldn't believe I'm the fastest woman on Earth?
Where is Ms. Fine anyway?
She's upstairs getting all farpitzed .
I thought that was farblondzshet .
No, sir, that means confused.
No, man, that's farkakteh .
Well then, what's farshimlt ?
I think that's her uncle.
So, tell me, Rochester. What'd you do to kill a day before I came along?
Well, truth be told, my life was a little empty...[Gives a smirk to C.C] But now I have a hobby.
[C.C. and Niles suddenly embrace and kiss deeply. After a moment, Fran and Maxwell return, both having a shocked look on their faces at the sight. The door closes, causing C.C. and Niles to break their kiss. They both compose themselves, and C.C. gathers her stuff and walks to the door]
Maxwell, Fanny Nine. [Niles opens the door for her] Swine.
Chicken. [Closes the door]
It's President Clinton's Renaissance Weekend. I was hoping I'd be invited.
Oh, a Renaissance Weekend. Boy, Clinton goes to those things? 'Cause I'm thinking tights and a pointy hat is not his best look.
Where is this brother of yours, C.C.?
Brother? There's a brother coming? Is he short, ugly and married?
Ma, Jules is gonna be here in two minutes. Would you stop futzing with my skirt? Can you believe her? Stop it!
Ms. Fine, she's your mother. She's just pulling it down.
She's my mother. She's hiking it up.
T Therapist
So, ladies, what brings you to therapy?
I came because my mother has an obsession with me getting married.
I came because my daughter has a delusion that I have an obsession.
I came because they brought me and I don't know how to get home from here.
I felt just like my mother when I told her I lost my virgin... [Sees Grace] Airline tickets.
Did they give you another one?
No, honey. When you lose that ticket, it's non-refundable.
Unless you get engaged to Prince Charles, then it miraculously reappears.
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Nanny pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
