Simple Simon met a pieman! "Going to the fair?" said Simple Simon to the pieman!
Uh, let me have a custard pie to go.
To go where?
Well, here! [pies Fozzie Bear in the face]
“Paul Simon” · Season 5, Episode 11
In this episode: Paul Simon (4), Gonzo (2), Fozzie Bear (1), Beauregard (1)
I love it, but of course, I know fifty ways to love your lever.
You know, if he's going to do this to one of my tunes, I can fight back, you know.
What are you gonna do?
I'm going to take the chickens. Hey girls! There's a party over at my place! Come on over! [the chickens flock to Paul]
Oh no, you can't do this to me, come on, this is treason!
Am I interrupting anything?
Hey Gonzo! Come on in!
Thank you!
Can I tell you something?
Sure.
You are my favourite muppet.
Wow! Thank you, Paul. Is it alright if I call you Paul?
Oh yeah, sure.
And you can call me Gonzo the Great! Well, that's enough about me. Which one of my songs do you want to hear?
Which one of your songs?
You don't think I'm musically educated?
Oh, I think you're musically educated, it's just that I—
Good. Hand me that clarinet. [gestures to Paul's guitar]
Gonzo, you know, this clarinet is my very favourite... clarinet, and I really prefer that no one else actually play it besides myself.
But I'll-but I'll guard it with my life!
[sighs] I feared you would say that.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Muppet Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.