[Danny walks in his office] What's that I hear, the g-g-g-ghost of someone who's dead to me?!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
No guys?
Nope.
Girls?
I wish! Oh my God, how hot would me and Keira Knightley be? All snuggled up in a log cabin.
You think you could pull Keira Knightley?
I could! It would be like Bend It Like Beckham. And I can take a bra off like that [snaps her fingers].
Do you know any loose, funky-tooth, British chicks?
Droves.
Okay, I don't know what that word means but, can you set me up with one of them? I am done with American chicks, man. They're all boring and they've all told each other about me online.
Ugh, fine. Me and some of my Cambridge chumps are playing celebrity tonight, why don't you join.
I'm sick at celebrity! Who am I doing now? [nothing about his expression changes]
[after a moment gasps] Oh my god, Billie Jean King!
Exactly. [they high-five]
I haven't seen you smile this much since you found out that you're younger than Katie Holmes.
That old hag.
How about we go to the bedroom and you show me if there’s any room in your closet for me.
No. No, there’s no space for you in there because that’s where all my pressed jeans go, okay? There’s no room for you. You got this now, okay?
Maybe we should just go and, uh, check anyway.
I don’t need to check. I’m telling you right now, there’s no room for you in there.
Have sex with me in your closet, you dumb-dumb.
What's the most valuable thing in the world to you? The thing that you treasure above all else?
My signed photo of Kris Jenner.
Do you ever not know exactly where that is or exactly what it's doing?
No, that thing's locked behind plate glass in my--That son of a--!
If you go blind, I'm gonna get so fat.
He thought it was something I had done thousands of times. Like jaywalking, or lying under oath.
Peter, we used to be such good chums.
We did use to share a work toothbrush.
We did?
Yeah, we all did!
We did?
SRShonda Rhimes
Writing's how I pay the bills, but my passion is beer pong.
I'm not late! It's 9:19, which is practically 9:15. Which is basically 9. Danny, if anything, I'm early.
[in the bathtub] Danny, my beloved sex partner, get in here. Welcome to your erotic bath.
I don't know. Baths? Isn't that like marinating in your own filth?
Danny, come on. Cosmo says that taking a bath together is the #9 way to have a horny autumn. Don't you wanna have a horny autumn?
You gotta stop sending me all those nudies.
Oh, I will never stop sending nudies. That's my First Amendment right!
I'm actually happy that Danny's gone, 'cause I'm his secret Santa and I don't know what to get him.
Golf balls.
No, that's for white people; Danny's Italian.
Meatballs.
No, I'll just eat them.
LDr. Ledreau
I'm working on this recommendation for Dr. Lahiri, and I'm wondering if you know any adjectives other than Indian. I'm stumped.... I'd prefer to please here, especially if there's a possibility of her following through on any of those threats.
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