Mindy Lahiri quotes from The Mindy Project

Mindy

I hate when people say "old school" when they all they mean is inefficient and rude. Like "oh, how charming, that mean old waiter told me to put away my cell phone at dinner." That's why I only eat at chains.

Mindy

[whispering to herself while being weighed by Danny] You're not Mindy, you're a warrior, and your warrior name is... [breathes deeply] Beyoncé Pad Thai.

Mindy

Shouldn't you be back in school? Oh my god, did my tuition check bounce? Sometimes they don't take those Hunger Games checks seriously, but I get such good Mockingjay points.

Mindy

[To Betsy and Shauna, about her brother Rishi] Guys, I may have the curves, but he ruins the curves... Did you guys understand... what I meant by that?

Mindy

George has always been so nice to us. Remember when his wife died? He gave me all her old bras.

Mindy

I am terrified for my life. It's like Sons of Anarchy out here. And none of the young, hot characters, just like the old ones.

Mindy

Over the holiday I had five hams and a goose. I am a wolf in a children's story.

Mindy

Are you kidding me? Look at these wrists! Look at how dainty they are! They can barely lift the enormous calzones I eat!

Mindy

If you go blind, I'm gonna get so fat.

Mindy

He thought it was something I had done thousands of times. Like jaywalking, or lying under oath.

Mindy

I'm not late! It's 9:19, which is practically 9:15. Which is basically 9. Danny, if anything, I'm early.

Mindy

Stanford will just be another dead professional dream, like being an astronaut or an African dictator.

Mindy

I actually don't speak any Indian languages, but I do know how to do a kinda offensive Indian accent.

Mindy

All my alumni emails go to spam, 'cause they're always asking me for money. Because, one time I fell through a stained-glass window.

Mindy

I knew I shouldn't have told you, but it's not my fault! I have ADHDTV.