Jeremy Reed quotes from The Mindy Project

Jeremy

Leave her alone, Danny. She's had a rough night.

Danny

Whose fault is that?

Jeremy

Everyone loses it at weddings, they're designed to exploit our sentimental side.

Mindy

Thank you. I agree with that.

Jeremy

I can't recall a wedding where I didn't end up in the arms of some woman I met that night, and not because she was vulnerable, because I was.

Danny

You know, I used to think that sex addiction was made up by male celebrities, but now I think it's real.

Jeremy

That's not cool. Yes. Yeah, I love sex. I do it a lot, I do it well, but I'm not addicted to it. I'm addicted to attention.

Mindy

That is so interesting.

Danny

Listen, I'm all for lonely people making connections, but this is the doctors lounge, not the wooded area behind the highway rest stop, all right? I mean really, guys! I hate that I can't read the newspaper in here anymore.

Jeremy

Yeah, we get it, Danny. You read the newspaper, you're so much smarter than us.

Mindy

We get it, Danny, you're so much smarter than us.

Danny

I am though, I'm smarter than you.

Danny

What do you mean, you have a sex tape of me?

Jeremy

So you found the tape of me?

Mindy

Well, well, well. Looks like you guys do check your emails. You are busted! I sent you an email late Saturday night with a subject heading, "answer A.S.A.P." Didn't hear from either of you.

Jeremy

The key, Mindy, is to find a man who you are attracted to but don't respect and can't see a future with.

Mindy

Draco Malfoy.

Jeremy

Someone not fictitious.

What do you think I discovered on your browser history?

Danny

What's a browser history?

Jeremy

It's a list of all the sites you visited.

Danny

Oh no.

Jeremy

The reason I hired Paul is because he's a good doctor. The patients all love him. He was featured on the cover of New York Magazine.

Mindy

So what?! I was profiled in the New York Post! Remember when I found that thumb in my taco?

Peter

Do you know any loose, funky-tooth, British chicks?

Jeremy

Droves.

Peter

Okay, I don't know what that word means but, can you set me up with one of them? I am done with American chicks, man. They're all boring and they've all told each other about me online.

Jeremy

Ugh, fine. Me and some of my Cambridge chumps are playing celebrity tonight, why don't you join.

Peter

I'm sick at celebrity! Who am I doing now? [nothing about his expression changes]

Jeremy

[after a moment gasps] Oh my god, Billie Jean King!

Peter

Exactly. [they high-five]

Jeremy

Peter, we used to be such good chums.

Peter

We did use to share a work toothbrush.

Jeremy

We did?

Beverly

Yeah, we all did!

Peter

We did?