CCliff
OK, Mr. Tookers. I'm going to be billing you for the hours I have wasted on this.
I have no money. And I will not pay.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I've been dumped 36 times in my life....I was left at the altar 3 times. Two different women faked their own deaths to get away from me. The point is, you can't force yourself to get over someone. But it'll happen.
FAFlight Attendant
Ma'am you're being very disruptive.
You know, I am so tired of people telling me that.
I don't want to say that we are the new unofficial mayors of the Oneida Indian Moon Resort and Casino, because then I'd be repeating what it says on my t-shirt! [reveals t-shirt under labcoat] These things are free! They give them to you when you lose over $5000.
You haven't let off Graham since the edamame arrived.
They're cold soybeans. They're from Iowa.
Back off, grandpa.
That's not an insult, ok? Grandfathers are the backbone of this country.
I was thinking of getting a tattoo on my wrist that says "breathe."
Breathe? That's something you forget to do? Why won't you put "walk" on your feet. You should think about getting "idiot" on your forehead.
CCliff
Yana was runner up Miss Universe this year.
Oh, my God! That's how I know you! You were so good in the interview. My favorite hobby is also activities.
I should just spend the night at your place.
No, no, no. Call one of your friends!
The only number I have memorized is my Thai place, they're not gonna let me spend the night. Which is so unfair because I know they have mattresses back there.
If a girl doesn't respond to me immediately, that means she's either stuck up, dead, or living in an elevator--all three of which are deal breakers.
Oh my God, Dr. L spotted the coffee cake, get out of the way we are bowling pins in her path!
What? I don't want coffee cake, I'm still full from that chia seed I had last night.
Oh no, I made an entire extra cake just for you, [scared] like you demand.
Over the holiday I had five hams and a goose. I am a wolf in a children's story.
Are you kidding me? Look at these wrists! Look at how dainty they are! They can barely lift the enormous calzones I eat!
So you went on a coffee date with a loser. All coffee dates are with losers.
He was just too nice. And I'm too nice and I can't break it off with him. I'm probably gonna marry him.
Mindy, the reason you can't break it off with him is not because you're too nice.
Excuse me?
I saw you bring a girl to tears because she asked it you were registered to vote.
I have been asked that a million times and the answer's always the same—I don't know!
Mindy, you deserve someone great, or at least someone kind of rich, or at least someone fun, probably gay.
My kingdom for a gay husband.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Mindy Project pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.