Patrick Jane quotes from The Mentalist

Lisbon

Is anything coming back to you?

Jane

Kids prefer cheese over fried green spinach.

Lisbon

[laughs] Come again?

Jane

It's an acronym for the seven levels of taxonomy: kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species.

Lisbon

Impressive.

Jane

I can also name the geological time periods, the worlds longest rivers by size, and the complete works of Shakespeare in chronological order.

Lisbon

So the memory palace is intact?

Jane

I told you about the memory palace?

Lisbon

We're friends.

Jane

Okay. Your armed robber - desperate amateur. Why work alone? Because he doesn't know any other criminals. The lucha libre mask projects the correct attitude, but look - look what he is wearing. Khakis and a fitted sweater.

Lisbon

Jane—

Jane

No wonder the guard tried to shoot him. The closest a man should ever come to touching a fitted sweater is helping a woman out of one.

Rigsby

[Y]ou're still good at sussing out guilty parties.

Jane

Huh. How do I do that, exactly?

Rigsby

Ah, it's hard to say. Causing trouble, mostly.

Jane

Well, in that case, Wayne, what's the best way in with the luscious redhead?

Rigsby

Van Pelt?

Jane

Well, clearly you two had a thing, and she dumped you, but maybe you can share a tip on how to open the cookie jar, you know? Get some, uh... tasty ginger snaps?

Rigsby

You want a tip? Back off.

Lisbon

You said at the hospital you were dying to help. This is NOT helping.

Jane

I am. I'm investigating. I felt bad about the fish stunt I pulled on these boys, so, uh, I decided to take the B shift out for a night on the town, you know, get to know 'em, make sure they're all innocent of murder.

Lisbon

Are they?

Jane

They're the best of the best! [Jane toasts the firefighters]

Yeah! You're the man, Paddy! [they toast him back]

Jane

Thank you! Cheers!

Cheers. [to Lisbon and Van Pelt] Oh, by the way, he got the last round. Could you thank him for me?

Lisbon

[with a strained laugh] We're going back to the hospital now.

Jane

I'm gonna take a rain check on that. I got another show later. You should stick around. I'm best with the late crowd.

Lisbon

Are you gonna make me call backup to get you out of this bar? Because I will do that, "Paddy."

Lisbon

See you in the morning.

Jane

Uh, no. Actually, put a fork in it. I'm done. No more police work.

Lisbon

I understand. You can stay in the hospital until you get your memory back.

Jane

What if I don't get it back? I talked to my paramedic friends. They told me that all I need to be released from this hospital is the signature from a responsible adult, and [pulls several phone numbers out of his pockets] I got some pretty tasty offers tonight! [chuckling] I'm telling you, this wedding ring—!

Lisbon

Don't you think it's time to tell the truth about Red John?

Jane

Well the truth is, I killed Red John. You can ask anyone. It was on the news, Lisbon.

Lisbon

But you think he's alive.

Jane

I told you that. You, Lisbon. Nobody else. It's better that way.

Lisbon

Then why make him reemerge? You manipulated Panzer into insulting Red John so Red John would kill him.

Jane

I didn't know how else to stop Panzer. He would have just kept on killing.

Jane

I've got a lot to do, so have a nice day.

Lisbon

Jane?

Jane

Yes?

Lisbon

Is there something you want to tell me?

Jane

Deniability, Lisbon. Deniability: your best friend.

Did it change you, Patrick? Hunting a monster?

Jane

Of course. Be well, Susan.

Lisbon

It has changed you, you know.

Jane

Darcy's off the case, Lisbon. She's safe.

Lisbon

And what about you? How's Red John going to feel when he finds out you spoiled his fun with Agent Darcy?

Van Pelt

Jane, I'm sorry to ask this, but do you ever talk to your wife?

Jane

Yes, sometimes.

Van Pelt

Do you ever see her?

Jane

No. Never.

Van Pelt

If you did see her, would you think you were crazy?

Jane

Craig came to see you, didn't he?

Van Pelt

Yes.

Jane

What did he want?

Van Pelt

I don't know. This will sound really weird, but he kind of saved my life.

Jane

Figuratively speaking, I hope.

Van Pelt

Yes. I mean, he wasn't really there, but --

Jane

Now you can't decide what to do with the necklace he gave you because it reminds you of the past. Maybe try to forget it or you could learn to live with it.

Lisbon

I have to be back here right after lunch.

Jane

Oh?

Lisbon

Management meeting.

Jane

Wainwright. He has too much time on his hands. [dials a number on his phone] Agent Wainwright. Patrick Jane. Hi, I just wanted to let you know that Agent Lisbon is needed urgently in the field, and as important as your seminar is, she's not going to be able to attend. Okay. Thank you. Bye bye. He said he's fine. See? Simple as that.

Lisbon

Thanks. Did it ever occur to you that I might actually want to go to the meeting.

Jane

No, it didn't. Do you?

Lisbon

No, but it's the principle.

Lisbon

You're losing your touch. You didn't know it was her.

Jane

Don't be ridiculous. The trick worked exactly as I intended. It didn't matter which one I thought it was. That's how a good trick works.

Lisbon

[smiles] You would say that, wouldn't you?

Lisbon

Okay, we keep working.

Jane

We should talk to Eve again.

Lisbon

Maybe she knows what was going on with Murphy.

Jane

Maybe.

Lisbon

Fine. You're the boss on this one.

Jane

Okay, don't be like that.

Lisbon

Like what? It's what you want!

Jane

What I want is a little smile.

Lisbon

Well you can't have everything.

Lisbon

That is the third time this year you've been reprimanded in court.

Jane

I bent a spoon with my mind. What's the big deal?

Lisbon

You were testifying in a criminal case. You can't be playing tricks!

Jane

It's all theater, isn't it? Bread and circuses?

Jane

See?

Patrick

[On the phone] Okay. Thank you. Bye. [Hangs up] Richard Aldridge will be speaking with one of my colleagues first thing tomorrow morning.

Erica

We make a good team, don’t we?

Patrick

You said you had a question.

Erica

Oh yes, that. Would you hate me if I told you I was lying? It’s just these days I don’t get to spend much time alone with charming men.

Patrick

Well, the reason for that - so you don’t kill them.

Erica

We all have our baggage. I’ve been thinking about you a lot over the past few months. I often wonder how things would be had we met under different circumstances.

Patrick

Thinking about what might have been will drive you crazy.

Erica

Much better to think about what will happen in the future.

Patrick

Erica...

Erica

I like you, Patrick. I hope my directness doesn’t make you uncomfortable.

Patrick

I know what you’re doing.

Erica

What am I doing?

Patrick

Seducing me to conceal your true purpose. Which is to escape.

Erica

Am I? Seducing you?

Patrick

No.

Erica

I’m not trying to escape, Patrick. In fact, you don’t actually believe I am.

Patrick

No?

Erica

No. Those agents outside the door aren’t to keep me from escaping. They’re to keep you and I apart. I know you have feelings for me. This whole escape nonsense is just your way of avoiding those feelings.

Patrick

No, actually I'm fairly concerned you might try to escape.

Erica

Then ask yourself this. If those agents weren’t outside the door right now, what would you do? What will you do?