The L Word · Season 1
[Talking over whether Helena should have sex to erase her gambling debt, and whether she'd feel like a whore after]
We all been there, one way or another. Once I gave a blow job to a horn player. [Everybody gives Kit a funny look] So I could get a line of cocaine!
And afterwards? How did you feel?
High. I was a high 'ho.
[to Bette] Yes, I fucked her. But it didn't work. Every time I looked at her, my head filled with pictures of you. Her skin didn't feel as soft as yours. I didn't like the way she touched me. And her kiss... didn't make my head spin the way yours does. You've ruined me for anybody else.
[in sign language; subtitled]
Hello, Amy.
"Hello, Amy?"
Let me call you at home.
Cut the crap. Talk to me now!
Okay. What do you want?
You tossed me aside like a piece of garbage!
We talked about this.
We didn't talk. YOU talked! You're a fucking, heartless, cunt!
You told me you understood.
Well, I lied.
What do you want me to say?
You don't want to feel tied down. You could never commit to one person.
I didn't think I could. I was telling you the truth.
What? You fuck me all night long and then you told me in the morning that you were in love with someone else?
Okay, what do you want me to say?
Fuck you! She must be an incredible fuck! Does she whisper sweet things in your ear? Make you feel like a part of the world.
[shouting in her own voice] FUCK YOU! I fucking did my best!
[shouting in her own voice] Well, fuck you, you fucking fuck!
[Jenny barges in on a meeting she was deliberately left out of]
Oh Jenny, we thought that you were uh...
That I was uh... completely clueless? Someone to fuck with?
No, of course not...
Someone who didn't realize what a lying duplicitous scheming excuse you are for a friend? [to Kate] Be careful if you're doing business with this woman because she actually eats her own.
Actually, Jenny, Tina's been a really good friend to you, as a matter of fact she's protected you...
She just wants to fuck you! She does. She just wants to get in your pants...
Shut the fuck up, Jenny, OK? You're a cunt! Bette almost lost her job because of you!
[to Dana's "ghost"] You really curse a lot more now!
[They start to have sex in the prison cell, though Helena looks still a little frightened by Dusty] I haven't killed anyone!
You didn't?
It was tax fraud!
Speaking of freakish, look at Jenny's new assistant.
Well, you kind of have to admire her a little bit.
It's gross! There's something wrong with that girl!
Why is my life supposed to stop because you want to live in a fucking closet? I did not sign up for that bullshit. You did. I am allowed to say what I want, and do what I want, and fucking out who I want... and love who I want because I live in the goddamn U.S. of fucking A.
And I'm the one out there fighting for your right to be ignorant.
We're gonna fuck in a closet?
The irony hasn't escaped me.
[on national TV] Listen! Gay people are being bashed, harassed, and killed every day, and then you've got this guy who's gay himself, and he's saying this garbage? It's disgusting! I totally respect someone's choice to stay in the closet, I do. If that's what they want to do, I get it. But I don't think it's OK to kiss your boyfriend one day and then go out and trash gay people the next! Especially if you're a public figure and you have people looking up to you. No, I don't feel bad. I do not feel bad about what I did.
[sitting on counter] Hey you want one?
Oh no I'm good thanks.
Hey listen they're not gay I promise.
Oh my God! What if they were gay? What if the brownies were gay?
[laughing] They're all fucking each other.
[in brownie voice] You're hot.
So this is what I want you to do. Ok, so you're going to look at her and you're going to take her and you're gonna throw her against the sink - BAM! And you're gonna look at her with PASSION and then you - don't worry I won't kiss you - you're gonna take her and you're gonna kiss her with tongue. And then I want you to reach down and then I want you to fingerfuck her... and give her the best fucking orgasm ever. Go for it!
OH, you mean with my hand?
Yeah. Unless you have some other apparati I don't know about.
[as Bev] - 'How exciting... You're ovulating. Let's make a baby!'...
Passion! That's okay. Okay, wauw, it looks like you guys are sort of doing a dance.
Do you want to see my hand?
I'd like to. Might be nice for you to look like you're actually giving her pleasure rather than moving furniture. You know, that looks like you're sewing up a hole in her jeans. You guys really don't know how to fuck women, do you?
Fuck you, Denbo! AND your dumb lover. You're a ratfuck!
BYE CINDI!
I don't know what to do.
You're in love with Jodi, right?
I adore her. And I respect and admire her. But...
But what?
It doesn't really compare.
Are you gonna dance in your black bra?
You know, I was thinking about it, but I just don't need one. Thank god.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The L Word pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
