Rose Nylund quotes from The Golden Palace

Rose

[to a burglar with a ski mask] The hat is a tip-off, but...is this your first time in Miami?

Sophia

Well, I'm 88, and --

Rose

87.

Sophia

What?

Rose

You're 87, Sophia.

Sophia

...okay. I'm 87 years old, and I used to have to wake up every morning just to live. Now I have to wake up every morning to cook 50 pounds of ravioli. I got stuff to do.

Blanche

On nights like this, we usually bare our souls and polish off a cheesecake.

Rose

And I often tell a story about my hometown of St. Olaf.

Chuy

St. Olaf? Sounds fascinating.

Roland

Tell us about it.

Sophia

Rookies!

Rose

Penny for your thoughts, Sophia?

Sophia

You're stupid, and that's on the house.

Rose

[Storms out of the kitchen and is in a bad mood because of Blanche]

Excuse me. I ordered rice. These are baked potatoes!

Rose

[Picks up potatoes and throws them against the door] We need rice!

Roland

It's okay. I don't mind. I'm a workaholic.

Rose

[shocked] Oh, my God! He's been drinking Workahol?!

Rose

[mopping up] Sophia, wet floor!

Sophia

I can't do that on command! I have to be scared first!

Rose

Chuy, wet floor!

Chuy

What, somebody scared Sophia?

Dorothy

[referring to Sophia] Has she come down yet?

Rose

Has who come down yet?

Dorothy

Amelia Earhart, Rose!

Chuy

It's taken two years, but as of today I will have lost 140 pounds of ugly fat.

Rose

You used to be heavy?

Chuy

No, married.

Roland

Yeah, today's the day that Chuy signs his final divorce papers.

Rose

Oh, I'll bet you have mixed feelings about that.

Chuy

Are you kidding? I'm thrilled it's over. Eight years. Eight long, miserable years. Do you know what it's like to live with a foul-mouthed, vicious shrew for eight years?

Sophia

[to Rose] Move it or lose it, you Danish dork!

Chuy

I guess you do.

You're smarter than you look.

Rose

I wish I could believe that.

Roland

It's not up to us to make moral judgements about the people staying in this hotel. [notices sign reading "Daughters of the Traditional South" in the lobby] "Daughters of the Traditional South?" Those bigots in bonnets aren't staying in this hotel!

Blanche

Roland, there is nothing wrong with the Daughters of the Traditional South!

Roland

Oh, I see; when they put those sheets on over their heads it must be some kind of salute to Casper the Friendly Ghost.

Rose

Ooh, when is that?

Roland

[as Santa Claus] What do you want for Christmas, little girl?

Sophia

I wanna stay on your lap 'til New Years!

Rose

Sophia!

Sophia

All right, how about a sponge bath with some elves?

Rose

[singing] Two turtle doves, and a Partridge in a Pear Tree...

Sophia

OK, OK, I believe you! There is a 48-Day version. Boy, last time I was in a place this cold they were hanging up Jimmy Hoffer by his--[singing] Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, jingle all the way...

Rose

[to Roland] That's not a very nice Christmas attitude for someone who wants to play Saint Nick. Come on! Let's hear those reindeer names, Buster!

Roland

Dancer, Prancer, Donner, Blitzen, Freezing, Fricking, Mother-

Rose

Roland!

Rose

Don't you take your frustrations out on me, you cheap...scallop!

Blanche

The word is "trollop," you moron! I am a cheap trollop!