“Brotherly Love” quotes from The Golden Girls

Sophia

Drink this. It's a secret potion from the old country, guaranteed to put you to sleep.

Rose

Looks like milk.

Sophia

Trust me, Rose. Drink it, slowly. That's right, down the hatch. [unbeknownst to Rose, Sophia takes a saucepan from the cupboard] We call this Sicilian Sominex. Now, you might feel a slight tingling. But believe me, you'll sleep like a baby. [walks up to Rose from behind and raises saucepan]

Rose

I don't feel any tingling. When's it going to hit me?

Blanche

Sophia! What are you doin'?

Sophia

[Freezes with the saucepan in her hand] ...I was making a souffle, and it got away from me!

Stan

[after Sophia opens the door] Hi Sophia. I have a surprise for Dorothy!

Sophia

What? Now that you're off the blood pressure medicine its working again?

Hello Mrs. Petrillo. I'm Stan's brother, Ted. You remember? We danced together at the wedding?

Sophia

Where were you when they got divorced? I was looking for someone to dance with then.

Dorothy

Floozy.

Blanche

Tramp.

Dorothy

I, I am a tramp? Blanche, have you heard the latest ad campaigns? "Join the Navy, see the world, sleep with Blanche Devereaux!" "Join the Army, be all you can be and sleep with Blanche Devereaux!" [raising voice] The Marines are looking for a few good men who have NOT slept with Blanche Devereaux!

Dorothy

Where did you come from?

Blanche

Oh, I was hiding behind the drapes.

Dorothy

What is this, Hamlet?

Stan

So Blanche, is Ted over here?

Blanche

What?

Stan

Oh I get it, he's in the shower.

Blanche

Stanley, your brother isn't here.

Stan

Come on Blanche. Did you get it with Ted?

Blanche

What?

Stan

You know. Cha-cha-cha, tango,tango,ole, ole

Rose

Nobody here speaks Spanish Stan.

Stan

Oh I got it, right, I can play dumb.

Sophia

Play, you could manage the team.

Dorothy

[taking microphone at restaurant] Ladies and gentlemen! May I have your attention please? The gentleman at table five, in the blue suit [meaning Ted], is impotent. Bon appetit.

Dorothy

Ted, what a surprise!

It's great to see you again.

Stan

What about me, babe?

Dorothy

Go hug a landmine.

Good night, Blanche.

Blanche

Well, what's your hurry? Come on in for a nightcap.

Oh, I don't want to put you out.

Blanche

Well, I like to put out. ... I mean, it's no trouble.

Sophia

[interrupting Blanche's attempts to seduce Ted] Don't mind me. The Best of Carson is comin' on.

Blanche

In here?!!

Sophia

No, Blanche, in Hollywood, but they pipe it through these little wires and it comes out here.

I really have to say goodnight now. Thanks for everything.

Sophia

Why? You didn't get everything.