The Golden Girls · Season 3, Episode 7
“Strange Bedfellows” · Season 3, Episode 7
In this episode: Dorothy Zbornak (8), Blanche Devereaux (6), Rose Nylund (5), Sophia Petrillo (4)
[about the article in the paper about her supposed affair with Gil Kessler] You girls don't believe this. Well, I mean, I'm not denying that's me in the photograph but I am denying that anything happened. I just dropped off his folder.
Then why does it say here that you were in his house for two hours?
We were just talking.
Then why does it say the explosion was so great it shattered windows in the building next door?
Rose, that's an article about an earthquake in Guatemala!
My backside is spread all across the front page! How could they do that?
They probably used a wide-angle lens.
Ma, ma, you promised you'd stay in your room 'til the meeting was over.
Who am I, ALF?
[examining photo in newspaper of Gil Kessler's alleged "mistress"] Wait a minute, that looks like Blanche's red dress!
And those look like Blanche's red shoes!
And aren't they her diamond earrings and gold bracelet?
That little floozy stole Blanche's clothes!!!
It's like having Agatha Christie right here in our kitchen.
[walks up to Blanche holding newspaper] Blanche, it's YOU!
Oh, you're gettin' so good at that, Rose. [points at Dorothy] Now who's that over there?
Look at this picture of Kessler, Dorothy. There's a secret behind those eyes. Trust my hunch on this one, I'm never wrong.
Oh, come on. Ma, remember your hunch about your nephew Angelo? You said one day he'd be pope!
Dorothy, you gotta pay attention! I said one day he'd sell dope! What do you think he went to Attica for? The volleyball program?
Dorothy, quick, turn on the television. Gil's press conference is about to start.
Gosh, I'm nervous. I hope they're not too hard on him.
Well, I wouldn't be too sure of that. Look at all of those reporters.
Yeah! There's Charlie Thompson, and Fred Leone, and Mike Devlin!
[All of the girls give Blanche a funny look]
I had lunch at the Press Club once.
Only once? Gosh, it took me two years to learn everybody's name on Eight is Enough!
[answers the telephone]) Hello. Yes, this is Blanche Devereaux. Yes, that Blanche Devereaux, and no, I did not! Absolutely not! I will tell it to a judge! I will yell it from the highest mountaintops! I will swear to it on a stack of Bibles! [hangs up telephone] Now did that sound like a liar?
No. It sounded like Jim and Tammy Faye on Nightline!
I'm still confused about the operation that Gil Kessler had. Is the man asleep during it?
I think so.
And what about the parts they put on? Do they test them first?
Of course, Rose. You know, like windshield wipers.
So they work?
I assume so, yes.
[Brief pause] ...What are they made of?
[irritated] Silly Putty, Rose!
I don't normally speak to people who call me a liar.
Oh come on Blanche, we're in public now. There's no reason to be hostile.
Oh, yes there is. I don't like you.
And horizontal stripes make you look like Roger Ebert!
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