[Mr. Pfeiffer is trying to set a date for Mrs. Claxton's funeral service]
How about Thursday night?
Thursday night?
Are you crazy?
Not Thursday, hell no!
Sorry, I forgot. The Cosby Show.
“It's a Miserable Life” · Season 2, Episode 4
In this episode: Dorothy Zbornak (5), Sophia Petrillo (4), Mr. Pfeiffer (4), Blanche Devereaux (3), Rose Nylund (2)
We're interested in arranging a funeral.
Isn't that lovely. The three of you planning ahead for Mother.
Hey, Puh-feiffer, how would you like a punch in your puh-face?
Mr. Pfeiffer...
Oh, no, it's Puh-feiffer. The "P" is not silent.
...anyway, Mr...Puh-feiffer...about the puh-funeral -- about the funeral...
FCFrieda Claxton
[to Blanche] Oh yeah, I didn't recognize you with your clothes on.
I beg your pardon?
FCFrieda Claxton
With my binoculars I have a terrific view of your bedroom window. I think some of the stuff you do is illegal. I'm looking into it.
Why you miserable old... [Dorothy grabs Blanche as she lunges for Mrs. Claxton]
Now Blanche, let's try to get along. Mrs. Claxton, I don't know if you remember me, Dorothy Zbornak.
FCFrieda Claxton
Sure, I know you. You're the one with nothing going on in your bedroom.
Why you miserable old... [Blanche and Rose grab her as she lunges at Mrs. Claxton]
Ma, where are you going?
To throw some holy water on her [Mrs. Claxton]. If she spits up pea soup and her head spins around, we're in big trouble!
WWoman
[delivering a heatfelt eulogy at Mrs. Claxton's funeral] Yes, Celia Rubinstein loved all mankind! She was...
WHO?!
WWoman
Celia Rubenstein.
This funeral isn't for Celia Rubenstein, it's for Frieda Claxton!
The Rubenstein funeral is down the hall.
WWoman
Oh! Oh, I'm terribly sorry for the intrusion! ...Frieda Claxton, wasn't she the lady who lived in that old house on Richmond Street?
Yes.
[The woman gives the coffin a good kick and then leaves the chapel]
Mrs. Claxton's soul is part of that tree now, Sophia.
That's really lovely... and it's touching how that Great Dane is paying its respects!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.