Ma, did Jean sleep with you last night?
Dorothy, there are a lot of things I want to try before I die but that's not one of them.
[Blanche enters]
“Isn't it Romantic” · Season 2, Episode 5
In this episode: Dorothy Zbornak (6), Sophia Petrillo (6), Blanche Devereaux (4), Rose Nylund (2)
Oh Blanche, have you seen Jean this morning?
She and Rose shared a room last night. Listen, Dorothy... You don't think Jean would ever...do you?
Look Blanche, I DO NOT believe that anything other than Gin Rummy happened between Jean and Rose last night.
[Rose enters]
Dorothy. Something terrible has happened.
OH GOD!
You idiot! If someone told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?
For starters, Jean is a lesbian.
Ma.
What's funny about that?
You aren't surprised?
Of course not. I mean I've never known any personally, but isn't Danny Thomas one?
Not Lebanese, Blanche. Lesbian.
Jean thinks she's in love with Rose.
Rose? Jean has the hots for Rose?!! I don't believe it, I do not believe it!
I was pretty surprised myself.
Well, I'll bet! To think Jean would prefer Rose over me! That's ridiculous!
Blanche, please!
Now you tell me the truth, if you had to pick between me and Rose, who would you pick? Who?
Blanche, pull yourself together!
Oh... I'm sorry. Does Rose know?
No.
Oh good, I don't think you ought to tell her. After all, she's not as worldly and sophisticated about these things as I am.
Absolutely. If she finds out Danny Thomas is a lesbian, it'll break her heart.
[Sophia is watching a dirty movie]
Hi, Ma. Whatcha watching?
I dunno, one of those Steven Spielberger movies.
That's not a Steven Spielberg movi-...what are they doing?
You know what they're doing. We had that talk when you were 12.
Ma, I can't believe this! You rented a dirty movie?
Dirty is in the eye of the beholder. Okay, that's a little dirty.
I cannot watch any more of this.
[coming in with Blanche] Hi.
[Dorothy is pressing buttons on the remote]
Wrong button. That's fast forward.
Oh, my.. what are they doing?
I know what they're doing, but I never saw anyone do it at that speed.
It reminds me of my Uncle Ricky's rabbit farm!
[Dorothy presses another button]
That's reverse, Dorothy.
I did that once. [the others turn to look at her] It was his birthday.
Jean is a nice person. She happens to like girls instead of guys. Some people like cats instead of dogs. Frankly, I'd rather live with a lesbian than a cat.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.