[after a long screeched note on a clarinet is heard downstairs] Have we moved closer to the river?
[More sounds]
You think she's blowing through the right end?
[Even worse sounds]
I think she just killed a goose.
S1 E8Play It Again Vanessa
[Vanessa is playing the clarinet badly while Cliff and Theo are playing chess]
[starts destroying the game] That´s it, halftime.
Dad, there's no halftime in chess!
The band is playing, so that's halftime.
[after a long screeched note on a clarinet is heard downstairs] Have we moved closer to the river?
[More sounds]
You think she's blowing through the right end?
[Even worse sounds]
I think she just killed a goose.
[Vanessa is playing the clarinet badly while Cliff and Theo are playing chess]
[starts destroying the game] That´s it, halftime.
Dad, there's no halftime in chess!
The band is playing, so that's halftime.
(From one of this episode's outtakes)
[Vanessa plays a bad note]
[Looking straight at Theo] Was that you?
[Breaks character and bursts out laughing]
S1 E9How Ugly is He?
[Talking to Denise's boy-friend] If you don't plan on going to college then what do you plan on doing?
I think I'm going to just spend some time trying to find myself.
And how long do you think that's going to take?
About five or ten years.
In that amount of time you could find yourself and a few other people.
Dinners ready. [as Cliff walks by] So how do you like him?
I don't know if it's him or not; he hasn't found himself yet.
The entree, Dr. Huxtable's Salisbury Steak deluxe!
I'm sorry, Dr. Huxtable, I don't eat meat.
The boy does not eat meat.
I'm a vegetarian.
I didn't know that!
CClaire
Well we got lots of red beans and rice.
I'm sorry, I only eat brown rice.
That's all right, we can take the rice and burn it for you.
[Talking to Denise's boy-friend] If you don't plan on going to college then what do you plan on doing?
I think I'm going to just spend some time trying to find myself.
And how long do you think that's going to take?
About five or ten years.
In that amount of time you could find yourself and a few other people.
Dinners ready. [as Cliff walks by] So how do you like him?
I don't know if it's him or not; he hasn't found himself yet.
The entree, Dr. Huxtable's Salisbury Steak deluxe!
I'm sorry, Dr. Huxtable, I don't eat meat.
The boy does not eat meat.
I'm a vegetarian.
I didn't know that!
CClaire
Well we got lots of red beans and rice.
I'm sorry, I only eat brown rice.
That's all right, we can take the rice and burn it for you.
S1 E10Bon Jour Sondra
I wish I was 20 again.
Would you go to Rio?
Your mother wouldn't let me.
[Cliff is instructing Theo how to carve a turkey]
[imitating Julia Child] First, you slice ever so gently along the grain, following the contour of the bird.
Dad, why are you talking like that?
[still imitating Julia Child] I have no idea; it's just that it makes me feel more secure when I'm in the kitchen.
I wish I was 20 again.
Would you go to Rio?
Your mother wouldn't let me.
[Cliff is instructing Theo how to carve a turkey]
[imitating Julia Child] First, you slice ever so gently along the grain, following the contour of the bird.
Dad, why are you talking like that?
[still imitating Julia Child] I have no idea; it's just that it makes me feel more secure when I'm in the kitchen.
S1 E11You're Not a Mother Night
FCFemale Client
That's a wonderful thing you're doing for your wife!
Thank you.
CClient
How long you been married?
21 years.
CClient
How many kids?
Four at home and one in college.
CClient
Five children and 21 years. What are you celebrating?
Survival.
[Claire and Cliff have just gotten into bed, and the phone rings; Cliff answers]
Hello? ... This better be necessary. [hands the phone to Claire] It's for you.
CClaire
Hello.
KThe Kids
[on the other end] Good night mom! And don't bring home another baby!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Cosby Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.