You don't have time!
DDarryl
Why not?
Because he's coming!
DDarryl
Who's coming?
Elvin.
DDarryl
Who's Elvin?
Elvin is the fellow she likes.
DDarryl
Oh. Then why am I here?
Because you're the fellow I like!
S2 E4Cliff in Love
My mother works and I don't like it. Sometimes I come home and there's no dinner ready.
[laughing] What, are your hands broken?
Would you and Dr. Huxtable like some coffee?
Coffee?
Yes, coffee.
You mean, you're gonna get it?
Yes, you're surprised?
I'm sorry Mrs. Huxtable, I didn't think you did that kind of thing.
What kind of thing?
You know....serve.
[Cliff sits down rubbing his face]
Serve whom?
Serve him. [pointing to Cliff]
Oh, serve him! You mean like, serve your man?
Well yeah.
Let me tell you something Elvin. You see, I am not serving Dr. Huxtable. Okay?
Okay.
That's the kind of thing that goes on in a restaurant. Now I am gonna bring him a cup of coffee just like he brought me a cup of coffee this morning. And that, young man, is what marriage is made of, it is give and take 50/50. And if you don't get it together, and drop these macho attitudes, you ain't never gonna have anybody bringing you anything anywhere anyplace anytime evah! Now what would you like in your coffee?
Maybe I could get you some coffee.
Elvin that's all right. I don't mind getting it. But thanks for offering.
[Clair leaves room]
Elvin?
Yes sir?
When she brings the coffee back, if I were you I wouldn't drink it.
S2 E5Theo And The Older Woman
Daddy, did you know that Susan is coming over today?
The girl from your social studies class?
Yeah. You're in your pajamas.
Right, well you said the two of you wanted to observe normal everyday activities.
And this is what you're wearing?
Denise, today's Saturday, you're lucky I have on what I have on.
[about gardening] If this is so lovely, how come you're not down here giving me a hand?
Because that's dirt.
No, to you it's dirt. To me, it's life.
Ha ha. Then why is it that you get upset when the children track life into the house?
[about Theo flirting with Denise's friend] The girl doesn't understand that the boy is fifteen years old. At fifteen the boy would hit on a snake.
Daddy, did you know that Susan is coming over today?
The girl from your social studies class?
Yeah. You're in your pajamas.
Right, well you said the two of you wanted to observe normal everyday activities.
And this is what you're wearing?
Denise, today's Saturday, you're lucky I have on what I have on.
[about gardening] If this is so lovely, how come you're not down here giving me a hand?
Because that's dirt.
No, to you it's dirt. To me, it's life.
Ha ha. Then why is it that you get upset when the children track life into the house?
[about Theo flirting with Denise's friend] The girl doesn't understand that the boy is fifteen years old. At fifteen the boy would hit on a snake.
S2 E6Halloween
I remember this guy named Jimmy Peterson. Now you see, Jimmy Peterson used to hang out at the city pool everyday, all summer long, and he was the finest thing there. And I knew that if I wanted to be his girlfriend, I had to get him to notice me. So, one day, I climbed the high-dive, which was something that only the absolute coolest girls did, because, see I knew he was gonna be watching.
What happened?
Well I got up on the high-dive, and I strutted out on that board to try and do the meanest swan dive in the history of swimming, got to the edge of the board, looked down and discovered why they call the high-dive, the high-dive. I stood there trembling, with Jimmy Peterson and everyone up there looking up at me!
What did you do?
I did the only thing I could do. I made everybody waiting on the ladder get off so I could get down! I walked past Jimmy Peterson, I was so embarrassed, I couldn't even look him in the face. I never spoke to him again! That's how I ended up with your father.
[whispers] Rudy, come here, quick! Rudy, do you see that guy over there?
Daddy?
Listen, I want you to go over there and tell him that you heard that I thought he was cute.
[goes over to Cliff] Mommy said that she heard that she thinks you're cute.
Who?
Mommy!
Mommy said that she heard that she thinks she's cute?
You!
You tell her that I think that she is allllllriiiiight! [Cliff stops Rudy] Wait, wait, wait, come back here a minute. But don't tell her that I said it. You tell her that you heard that I might have said it.
[Rudy nods and goes to Clair]
Daddy said that he might heard that you are goooooourgest!
I want you to go back and tell him that you thought you heard that I would like to go out on a date with him Saturday night at 12:05.
[to Cliff] Mommy said that she heard that she would like to go on a date with you at three-oh-oh.
Tell her that at 0300, the leukocytes will take over all of the minejectnofields and that I will kiss her on the steps of the Theresa hotel.
[to Clair] He said a zeuklomax and a zuklomax may bo and she wants, uh he wants to meet you on the steps of the hotel-of-something.
Now...
No no no, come on. [leads Clair over to Cliff]
What did she say?
No no no!
She said no?
I remember this guy named Jimmy Peterson. Now you see, Jimmy Peterson used to hang out at the city pool everyday, all summer long, and he was the finest thing there. And I knew that if I wanted to be his girlfriend, I had to get him to notice me. So, one day, I climbed the high-dive, which was something that only the absolute coolest girls did, because, see I knew he was gonna be watching.
What happened?
Well I got up on the high-dive, and I strutted out on that board to try and do the meanest swan dive in the history of swimming, got to the edge of the board, looked down and discovered why they call the high-dive, the high-dive. I stood there trembling, with Jimmy Peterson and everyone up there looking up at me!
What did you do?
I did the only thing I could do. I made everybody waiting on the ladder get off so I could get down! I walked past Jimmy Peterson, I was so embarrassed, I couldn't even look him in the face. I never spoke to him again! That's how I ended up with your father.
[whispers] Rudy, come here, quick! Rudy, do you see that guy over there?
Daddy?
Listen, I want you to go over there and tell him that you heard that I thought he was cute.
[goes over to Cliff] Mommy said that she heard that she thinks you're cute.
Who?
Mommy!
Mommy said that she heard that she thinks she's cute?
You!
You tell her that I think that she is allllllriiiiight! [Cliff stops Rudy] Wait, wait, wait, come back here a minute. But don't tell her that I said it. You tell her that you heard that I might have said it.
[Rudy nods and goes to Clair]
Daddy said that he might heard that you are goooooourgest!
I want you to go back and tell him that you thought you heard that I would like to go out on a date with him Saturday night at 12:05.
[to Cliff] Mommy said that she heard that she would like to go on a date with you at three-oh-oh.
Tell her that at 0300, the leukocytes will take over all of the minejectnofields and that I will kiss her on the steps of the Theresa hotel.
[to Clair] He said a zeuklomax and a zuklomax may bo and she wants, uh he wants to meet you on the steps of the hotel-of-something.
Now...
No no no, come on. [leads Clair over to Cliff]
What did she say?
No no no!
She said no?
S2 E7Denise Drives
I bet I know what she wants. She wants to borrow your car.
No, I think she want's to borrow your car.
I don't think so.
Why?
Because my car is a Station Wagon. Now when was the last time you saw a teenager driving a Station Wagon?
I better hide my car.
It's important for a young, available man to have wheels.
Why is that?
Because he who walks, walks alone.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Cosby Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.