Theo Huxtable quotes from The Cosby Show

Theo

Dad, what are you doing?

Cliff

I'm putting hors d'oeuvres down for the guests.

Theo

Why?

Cliff

Because I always put hors d'oeuvres out for the guests.

Theo

Dad, this is gonna make the evening longer. Couldn't we just come in and go to the table and start eating?

Cliff

If you'd like, I'll just put the food in a brown paper bag and have 'em eat it out on the sidewalk.

Theo

Robert, do you have any sisters?

Robert

No..

Theo

Well, go home tonight and thank your parents!

Theo

Robert, do you have any sisters?

Robert

No..

Theo

Well, go home tonight and thank your parents!

Theo

Dad, can I have an advance on my allowance?

Cliff

I'm sorry son, you're already backed up to your 50th birthday.

Clair

[as Amanda] Welcome to Amanda's Furniture City! Where money talks and nobody walks. If you like it you touch it, if you break it you buy it. If you don't see it we don't have it but we will get it. Now what can I do for you?

Clair

You are in luck! Because here at Furniture City, we accept all major credit cards.

Theo

I don't have any of those.

You are in luck! Because here at Furniture City, we accept personal checks.

Theo

I don't have any personal checks.

Then you are about to leave Furniture City!

Theo

Mom!

Cockroach

That's Amanda!

Theo

Cockroach!

Cockroach

That's Mr. Dansbury to you!

Denise

[as Ms. Firestone] Do you have any experience?

Theo

No, but I look good!

Cliff

[after Denise and Clair tell Theo what the real world is like] Your mother and your sister are absolutely correct. You see, we´re your family. We love you. We let you borrow money even you´re not qualified to pay it back. If you get out in the real world, it´s going to be different.

Theo

But when I get in the real world, I´m doing just fine, ´cause I´m gonna have a lot of money.

Cliff

I hope you´re not waiting for me to die.

Theo

No, I´m gonna earn it.

Cliff

How?

Theo

I´m going to be a model.

Rudy

[seriously talks about Theo´s debt to her] I want my quarter now!

Theo

Dad, can I have an advance on my allowance?

Cliff

I'm sorry son, you're already backed up to your 50th birthday.

Clair

[as Amanda] Welcome to Amanda's Furniture City! Where money talks and nobody walks. If you like it you touch it, if you break it you buy it. If you don't see it we don't have it but we will get it. Now what can I do for you?

Clair

You are in luck! Because here at Furniture City, we accept all major credit cards.

Theo

I don't have any of those.

You are in luck! Because here at Furniture City, we accept personal checks.

Theo

I don't have any personal checks.

Then you are about to leave Furniture City!

Theo

Mom!

Cockroach

That's Amanda!

Theo

Cockroach!

Cockroach

That's Mr. Dansbury to you!

Denise

[as Ms. Firestone] Do you have any experience?

Theo

No, but I look good!

Cliff

[after Denise and Clair tell Theo what the real world is like] Your mother and your sister are absolutely correct. You see, we´re your family. We love you. We let you borrow money even you´re not qualified to pay it back. If you get out in the real world, it´s going to be different.

Theo

But when I get in the real world, I´m doing just fine, ´cause I´m gonna have a lot of money.

Cliff

I hope you´re not waiting for me to die.

Theo

No, I´m gonna earn it.

Cliff

How?

Theo

I´m going to be a model.

Rudy

[seriously talks about Theo´s debt to her] I want my quarter now!

Cockroach

Now, Rudy, I thought you told me I was your boyfriend.

Rudy

You're too old!

Theo

[laughing] Cockroach, it's amazing! You get turned down by women of ALL ages!

Theo, why do you think we came over here?

Theo

To get help with your math.

Why would we do that when we get higher grades in math than you do?

Vanessa

Would you like to do me a really big favor?

Theo

No.

Vanessa

Oh, come on Theo. You owe me a favor. Remember the time when you wanted to buy that yo-yo that lights up in the dark? I was the one that lent you the 75 cents.

Theo

That was three years ago Vanessa.

Cliff

There you go. Hit your little machine.

Theo

All right, well, my computer says that I counter your move with bishop to knight 3.