Clair Huxtable quotes from The Cosby Show

Vanessa

Did Denise decide on a college while we were gone?

Clair

About a dozen times.

Clair

I'm going to call the zoo.

Cliff

The zoo?! The zoo does not want a garter snake. Garter snakes go to the zoo to see real snakes.

Cliff

Clair, I really enjoyed the dinner today.

Clair

Well, I have a snack just for you, TA-DA.

Cliff

What is it?

Clair

Delicious rice cakes, 35 calories, Cliff. 0 Salt, 0 Fat, 0 Cholesterol.

Cliff

Zero taste. Clair, I want food, like pulpeta.

Clair

No, No.

Cliff

Yes, I want pulpeta.

Clair

Mmm, mmm,mmm, mmm. It is amazing what you can find when a person takes off her sunglasses.

Vanessa

Mom, I didn't mean to put on the make-up. But, all of a sudden all of this stuff was on my face. It was like temporary insanity!

Clair

You're not going to fly, and I'll give you three reasons why. First in order to learn to fly you must be young, second, to go off flying you need time, and as a physician, you don't have that, and third, you're not allowed.

Cliff

Who says?

Clair

I says, Bud.

Cliff

Your mother and I are rich. YOU have nothing!

Clair

Vanessa, you are rich because you have got a family that loves you!

Clair

Theo, since you enjoy playing circus so much, you can be part of one: the Huxtable circus. This is the big top. And you get to clean the big top from top to bottom, stating with those windows. Then you can do the floors.

Cliff

Look at it this way son; here, no elephants.

Clair

Let's call Theo.

Cliff

Okay, on the count of three: one, two, three!

Cliff

I'm all yelled out.

Clair

Cliff, do you think any of them will ever come up and check on us?

Cliff

I don't think so, dear. I think they've got us right where they want us.

Clair

How are we going to get the water?

Cliff

I'll get it. Gimme some help.

Clair

Cliff?

Cliff

Hm?

Clair

Are you okay?

Cliff

Yes, dear. I'm just gonna take a little nap.

Clair

They are going to get all the money while Sondra goes to law school. Honey, this is gonna work out.

Sondra

Mom?

Clair

Yes?

Sondra

I'm not going to law school.

Clair

What?!

Sondra

I decided not to go to law school.

Clair

What do you mean you decided not to go to law school?

Sondra

This is our dream. I am getting a temporary job until the wilderness store opens and I will be working side by side with my husband.

Clair

Sondra, what are you saying? You've always wanted to go to law school. You never talked about anything else.

Sondra

I changed my mind,

Clair

CHANGE it back!

Clair

Rudy, has Theo come home yet?

Rudy

No. Are we going to be late for Vanessa's play?

Clair

We better not be. I'll give him three more minutes, then we got to leave without him.

Rudy

Mom?

Clair

Yes honey.

Rudy

This is the dress I'm wearing to Kelly's party, okay? Okay bye.

Clair

Just a minute, Rudy.

Rudy

Yes, mom.

Clair

Come here, please.

Rudy

What for?

Clair

Come here. You know, just last month. We put that dress and all your summer clothes in a trunk and I told you it's getting too cold for you to wear them.

Rudy

Yesterday it was hot.

Clair

But I know but yesterday was an unusual day today it's 52 degrees.

Rudy

It's probably going to get hot when the party starts.

Clair

I don't think so, Rudy. The weatherman says it's gonna get colder so why don't you take that dress and put it back in the trunk.

Rudy

But this is my favorite dress. Can I wear it to the party please?

Clair

Mmm, I want you to dress warm.

Rudy

I am warm.

Clair

Well you're in the house. But Rudy if you go outside dressed like that you gonna catch cold.

Rudy

I don't care, as long as I can wear my dress.

Clair

I'm sorry, the answer's no.

Rudy

But I want to wear it.

Clair

Well I'm sorry sweetie, you're not wearing it.

Rudy

Yes I am.

Rudy

Mom?

Clair

Yes honey.

Rudy

This is the dress I'm wearing to Kelly's party, okay? Okay bye.

Clair

Just a minute, Rudy.

Rudy

Yes, mom.

Clair

Come here, please.

Rudy

What for?

Clair

Come here. You know, just last month. We put that dress and all your summer clothes in a trunk and I told you it's getting too cold for you to wear them.

Rudy

Yesterday it was hot.

Clair

But I know but yesterday was an unusual day today it's 52 degrees.

Rudy

It's probably going to get hot when the party starts.

Clair

I don't think so, Rudy. The weatherman says it's gonna get colder so why don't you take that dress and put it back in the trunk.

Rudy

But this is my favorite dress. Can I wear it to the party please?

Clair

Mmm, I want you to dress warm.

Rudy

I am warm.

Clair

Well you're in the house. But Rudy if you go outside dressed like that you gonna catch cold.

Rudy

I don't care, as long as I can wear my dress.

Clair

I'm sorry, the answer's no.

Rudy

But I want to wear it.

Clair

Well I'm sorry sweetie, you're not wearing it.

Rudy

Yes I am.

Rudy

Mom?

Clair

Yes, honey.

Rudy

This is the dress I'm wearing to Kelly's party, okay? Okay, bye.

Clair

Just a minute, Rudy.

Rudy

Yes, Mom.

Clair

Come here, please.

Rudy

What for?

Clair

Just come here. You know, just last month we put that dress and all your summer clothes in a trunk, and I told you it's getting too cold for you to wear them.

Rudy

Yesterday, it was hot.

Clair

Well, I know, but yesterday was an unusual day. Today it's 52 degrees.

Rudy

It's probably going to get hot when the party starts.

Clair

I don't think so, Rudy. The weatherman says it's gonna get colder, so why don't you take that dress and put it back in the trunk.

Rudy

But this is my favorite dress. Can I wear it to the party? Please?

Clair

Mmm, I want you to dress warm.

Rudy

I am warm.

Clair

Well, you're in the house. But, Rudy, if you go outside dressed like that, you're gonna catch a cold.

Rudy

I don't care, as long as I can wear my dress.

Clair

I'm sorry. The answer is "no."

Rudy

But I wanna wear it.

Clair

Well, I'm sorry, sweetie. You're not wearing it.

Rudy

Yes I am.

Clair

Young lady... don't you talk back to me. A "no" is a "no," understand?

Rudy

But, Mommy, you're making me feel bad.

Clair

Oh, Rudy, if you don't listen to me, you're gonna feel much worse. Now take that dress, put it back in the trunk, and let's have no further discussion about it, please.

Rudy

I have one more question.

Clair

Yes, what is it?

Rudy

Can I wear my dress to the party this one time? Please?

Clair

No. Upstairs now.

Rudy

But Mo--

Clair

Rudy! If I hear one more word out of you, you're not going to that party. I mean it.

Cliff

Hey, I'm going down to the novelty shop to pick up something for Rudy's haunted house party.

Clair

What are you getting?

Cliff

Well, I don't know, but I mean, you know, I am the master of fright.

Clair

You just remember that they're children.

Cliff

No, no, I'll take it easy on them. Hee hee hee hee.

Clair

Oh, Jeffrey Engels called. He's gonna be over here in an hour.

Cliff

Clair. It's past 7 a.m., dear.

Clair

So?

Cliff

Well, you have to go to work.

Clair

I quit.

Cliff

No, you're a partner in the law firm. Hit it.

Clair

I'll be a silent partner.