Clair Huxtable quotes from The Cosby Show

That's it. You're going to the emergency room.

Clair

What if they tell me it's broken?

If no one tells you it's broken, and it is broken, how will you know it's broken?

S2 E11 Clair's Toe

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[Looking at the x-ray] Look, look at this. Right here. See that?

Oh, wait a minute! That looks like a hair.

That's right! This is called a hairline fracture of the promixal phalanx of the fourth toe. Understand that?

That's cool!

All right, it is!

Clair

Will the two of you please take my foot someplace else and leave me alone?

Okay. You want to take it to school and show it to your friends?

S2 E11 Clair's Toe

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Clair

[to Mrs. Westlake] I love your accent. Where are you from?

JWJack Westlake

I'm from Indiana.

WMrs. Westlake

That's why I married him, I love the way he talks!

S2 E12 Mrs. Westlake

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Clair

Vanessa, what has gotten into you? I have never, ever seen you act like this.

Mom, come on, Denise and I have fought over clothes before.

But not to the death!

S2 E13 Vanessa's Bad Grade

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Clair

Vanessa, what has gotten into you? I have never, ever seen you act like this.

Mom, come on, Denise and I have fought over clothes before.

But not to the death!

S2 E13 Vanessa's Bad Grade

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I thought it over and I've decided I'm not taking off this sweater until you apologize for poking me in the shoulder.

I'm not apologizing.

Okay. [pokes Denise in the shoulder] We're even.

Hey, wait a minute. You're not even, you're still wearing my sweater.

Knock it off, Denise!

I don't have to.

You're just mad because this sweater looks better on me.

Yeah, right.

Don't shove me!

I can shove you any time I want to!

Is that right?!

Yeah, that's right!

Get off! Let go of me, Denise!

Let me-- LET GO-- LET GO OF MY HAIR VANESSA!!! LET GO! [Rudy is outside hearing the fight and Cliff and Clair rushes over]

What's goin' on in there?

Fight, fight!

All right, now-- stop stop the two of you stop! Stop it! [Cliff falls over]

[screaming] STOP IT!!!!!!!

Clair

All right, that's enough that's enough now stop, Denise and Vanessa, I said you better stop! Cliff, are you alright?

They took me out.

Clair

Rudy, wait in my room please

Do I have to?

Clair

Yes you do.

Now.

Clair

Yes now.

Oh boy.

Clair

I wanna know what's goin' on in here? [Denise and Vanessa talk at the same time] Wait a minute, wait a minute. Denise you go first.

Why does she get to go first?!

Clair

Because I said so!

She went into my closet and took the sweater: the one I said she couldn't have [Denise hits Vanessa and they keep fighting]

Clair

GIRLS, I SAID "STOP"!!! Stop it. Vanessa is this true?

Well---

[Interrupting her] No, no, no, before you start to say "No" let me remind you that you are wearing the evidence?

Oh yeah. Well, mom she shoved me!

I shoved her because she took my sweater!

Clair

We have rules in this house: one of them is "We don't take things that don't belong to us" and the other one is "We don't try to kill each other", Denise, you may not drive your car for 2 days.

But mom!

Clair

Don't "But mom" me! Vanessa, you can't talk on the telephone for the next 2 days. Now give your sister her sweater back.

And you will wear the same clothes for 2 days in a row!

Aw, come on, dad!

Clair

Come on, Vanessa, give your sister her sweater back. [Vanessa throws Denise's sweater at her]

Stop!

Clair

Give it back nicely.

I'm sorry, Denise.

Now I have to get it clean!

Clair

Okay, the money for the cleaning comes out of your allowance.

Yes, mom.

Clair

Vanessa, what has gotten into you? I have never, ever seen you act like this.

Mom, come on, Denise and I have fought over clothes before.

Yeah, but not to the death!

S2 E13 Vanessa's Bad Grade

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Well, it's saying something to me right now.

Clair

What?

It's saying, "Bring me a tea bag."

S2 E20 Close to Home

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Well, it's saying something to me right now.

Clair

What?

It's saying, "Bring me a tea bag."

S2 E20 Close to Home

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Clair

You can't ride to the park unless you are accompanied by an adult.

Will you 'upcompany' me?

S2 E21 An Early Spring

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Clair

You can't ride to the park unless you are accompanied by an adult.

Will you 'upcompany' me?

S2 E21 An Early Spring

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Clair

[as Amanda] Welcome to Amanda's Furniture City! Where money talks and nobody walks. If you like it you touch it, if you break it you buy it. If you don't see it we don't have it but we will get it. Now what can I do for you?

...

Clair

You are in luck! Because here at Furniture City, we accept all major credit cards.

I don't have any of those.

AAmanda

You are in luck! Because here at Furniture City, we accept personal checks.

I don't have any personal checks.

AAmanda

Then you are about to leave Furniture City!