[Cliff and Theo are discussing Theo's grades and his possible future]
CliffYou graduate from High school; let's say you just slide by. Now you gotta find a job. Now what kind of salary do you expect for a regular person?
Cliff
Sit down. [giving Theo Monopoly money] I'm gonna give you $300 a week. Yes indeed. $300 a week, $1200 dollars a month.
Cliff
Yes you will, and I will take [takes some of the money] $350 for taxes.
Cliff
Uh, yeah. You see, the government comes for the regular people first. Now how much does that leave you with?
Cliff:
All right. Now you have got to have an apartment, because you are not going to live here. [taking more money] So an apartment in Manhattan will run you at least $400 a month.
I'll live in New Jersey. [takes back $200]
Cliff
All right, you live in New Jersey, you've got to have a car. [takes $300]
I'll ride a motorbike. [takes back $100]
Cliff
You need a helmet. [Cliff takes $50] Figure $100 a month for clothes and shoes. [takes $100]
Figure $200 a month, I want to look good! [give Cliff $100]
Cliff
So what's that leave you with?
Cliff
There is a problem, you haven't eaten yet! [Cliff takes $100]
I can get by on baloney and cereal. [takes back $100] So I've got everything under control PLUS $200 left for the month.
Cliff
You plan to have a girlfriend?
[Cliff takes the remaining $200]
Cliff
[pointing at Theo's empty hand] Regular people.
Cliff
Theo![knocking]
Cliff
[walks around disheveled room] Hard to get good help around here, isn't it? Uh, son, your mother asked me to come up here and kill you.
Cliff
You know what?
What you're gonna say. And it's under control, so--
"'Both"': No problem! [Bill sarcastically]
"'Cliff"': Son, how do you expect to get into college with grades like this? Huh?
"'Theo"': No problem. See, I'm not going to college.
Cliff
Damn right![sarcastically]
I am gonna get through high school. And then, get a job like regular people.
Cliff
Regular people?
Yeah, you know. Work at gas station,drive a bus, something like that.
Cliff': So what you're saying is, your mother and I shouldn't care if you get D's because you don't need good grades to be: "regular people" ?
Cliff
What did I tell you about pushing your sister?
I'm just hurrying her along.
Cliff
That's fine, she's only 5 now, but she IS going to grow up and she MAY get into body building. And then she'll track you down and say "Remember all the times you used to push me around?" and clean your clock!
Cliff
What did I tell you about pushing your sister?
I'm just hurrying her along.
Cliff
That's fine, she's only 5 now, but she IS going to grow up and she MAY get into body building. And then she'll track you down and say "Remember all the times you used to push me around?" and clean your clock!
[Cliff is excited and jittery that his son made the school football team]
CClaire
Cliff, now this may be impossible, but do you think you can calm down?
Cliff
[happily swerving] Calm? Sure I can be calm!
CClaire
Cliff, your eyes are dancing.
Cliff
Are they? [walks to a mirror] Let me see. [looks in the mirror] They are, aren't they? They are! They are dancing!
CClaire
Cliff, come on now sit down.
Cliff
No no, do me a favor, do me a favor, say it again. I wanna see them dance, let 'em go! Let 'em go! Say it!
Cliff
THERE THEY GO!
[Cliff is excited and jittery that his son made the school football team]
CClaire
Cliff, now this may be impossible, but do you think you can calm down?
Cliff
[happily swerving] Calm? Sure I can be calm!
CClaire
Cliff, your eyes are dancing.
Cliff
Are they? [walks to a mirror] Let me see. [looks in the mirror] They are, aren't they? They are! They are dancing!
CClaire
Cliff, come on now sit down.
Cliff
No no, do me a favor, do me a favor, say it again. I wanna see them dance, let 'em go! Let 'em go! Say it!
Cliff
THERE THEY GO!
Cliff
How... Much?
Dad, if you want the quality, you're going to pay for it.
Cliff
. $95
There has to be a pair of pants there too.
Cliff
Theo, I don't have a $95 shirt, and I have a JOB.
Don't you want something better for your son?
Cliff
Sure, you wanna trade your room for that shirt?
Cliff
All right then, The shirt goes back.
The Cosby Show · 376 quotes
