Brenda Leigh Johnson quotes from The Closer

Provenza

There's over 5 million dollars here, and the kidnappers only want a little over a million! Now if Summers was behind this, don't you think he'd want to take it all?

Tao

Maybe he wanted to leave something behind for his wife.

Brenda

You haven't met her.

Provenza

I remember Raydor back when she was a sergeant; filed a complaint against my old partner, George Andrews, said he was misogynistic. We had to look it up! Got both of us four months of sensitivity training.

Brenda

Well, that was a complete waste of time.

[sees Provenza tear through some red tape around a crime scene] Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing!

Provenza

We're headed to the newsstand to pick up a paper, read about the two FEID guys who got fired because they disregarded orders from the Pope.

Listen, I'm not going to --

Brenda

Tone. Tone, tone. That's not any way to talk to a lieutenant or a deputy chief for that matter. Sir, if you do anything to interfere with my murder investigation I'll see to it that you spend the next month on unpaid leave. Is that understood?

Brenda

I hate to ask ya'll this since I know it's against your nature, but do you think you could distract Eric's parents and his lawyer, sort of irritate them down the hall.

Provenza

[makes grand gesture in front of Lt. Flynn] After you!

God's grand design. That's a little bit over my head. But I don't believe in random.

Brenda

But there was no motive in Reggie's death. And-and where there's no motive, there's no meaning.

You only think there's no meaning 'cause you're looking for it. But meaning isn't something you find, Chief Johnson, it's something you give.

Brenda

Excuse me, Chief, uh, am I to understand that you, and uh, Lieutenant Flynn and Lieutenant Provenza handed over all the evidence from the crime scene, including the gun, to a detective Dick Tracy?

Pope

OK, now... this... is... definitely... a major crime.

Brenda

Captain Raydor. I see you made your deadline.

Yes, ma'am. Officers Stern and Duran have been completely exonerated.

Brenda

And because the way Force Investigation Division operates, I'll be investigating murders of more good cops just like them.

Excuse me?

Brenda

When officers are shot and killed in the line of duty, they're investigated by me. When they shoot back, they're investigated by you. That means that they'll think twice before defending themselves. That hesitation will mean that more good cops will die. I have to ask, have you ever considered what your principles cost?

Seventy million dollars. That was the settlement in the Rampart case. One hundred. That's how many convictions were overturned due to renegade police and lack of oversight in one division alone, not to mention the loss of trust the LAPD needs to remain effective.

Brenda

There has to be a better way.

Well, until then, you've got me.

Brenda

I don't want a murder suspect looking at a Crown Vic in the rear view mirror. Buzz, what kind of a car do you drive?

Buzz

A Prius. Why? Oh, no. No, no.

Brenda

We-we'll take such good care of it.

Buzz

It's brand-new and I just washed it.

Brenda

I promise. Such good care. (Buzz reluctantly hands over his keys) Thank you very much.

Buzz

Please, just... don't bring it back with any blood in it or bullet holes.

(sarcastically) Good luck.

Buzz

Thanks.

Charlie

You know you're in the red zone, right?

Brenda

The red zone is for the police. I am the red zone! Keep your head down and stay in the car!

Brenda

I have to check the schedule?

Charlie

He thinks I'm a youth volunteer.

Fritz

And the nurses think you're his sister?

Charlie

They only allow family members in the ICU. Thank God I heard you use his mom's name. Obviously Jake knows I'm not his sister, so I told him I was a youth volunteer. It was easier than explaining that you're my aunt.

Fritz

[laughs] You two are so related.

Brenda

[to a suspect] Now, I want you to look at all the people put to death in Texas since February 2006; 84 in all.

Gabriel

Tommy Lin Hawkins, executed after six months of being on death row. Michael Jack Raleigh, executed one year after his conviction. Tyrone Derek Johnson -- you get the idea?

Brenda

And these are all the people put to death in California during the same time period. [opens an empty folder] Not one. But since you have a lawyer and you won't talk to me, I'm walking out of here right now and turning you over to Texas, and trust me when I tell you that they will kill you dead.

Pope

So what proof do you have that Sergeant Dunn and Detective Moore knew each other?

Brenda

They denied it.

Pope

Okay, let's talk about what I mean by "proof". Because when I use that word, I mean some physical evidence we could all look at, you know, and go "Aah!"

Brenda

[points at door] Read what it says here, Will.

Pope

Hard interview room.

Brenda

What kind of message is that supposed to send to suspects?

Pope

Maybe it's supposed to be intimidating.

Brenda

I decide when to intimidate people around here, not the building.

Pope

Well, the media just can't get enough of the new building.

Brenda

I hate it.

Pope

Cops aren't happy unless they're miserable. Look at me. I broke my hand helping my daughter out of a tree in the backyard, now of course I haven't been to the gym for weeks. I feel fat. Do I look fat to you?

Brenda

I have a murder. Do you want an update?!

Fritz

And you've been having an affair for how long?

Brenda

Less than a month, but I sort of fell into it because you've been away a lot.

Fritz

So I want to kill you?

Brenda

No, not me. My boyfriend.

Fritz

Why not the both of you?

Brenda

Because we were on the roof together for a while, but you waited until my boyfriend was alone to shoot him.

Fritz

Are you sure my motive's jealousy and not irritation that everything you promised me you would bring to your new office is still boxed up in here?

Brenda

It's not my fault! I park blocks from where I work! And you don't want to kill me, anyway, you want to kill my boyfriend.

Fritz

I certainly do. So if I don't blame you for the affair, I have to blame the guy who seduced you.

Brenda

That's right. But just so you know, I'd never blame the other woman. It would be your fault a hundred percent.

Fritz

Who's the killer here, me or you?

Brenda

You, you, you. Sorry, go ahead.

Fritz

Jealousy can provoke a crime of passion, but it can also arrive in stages, like grief.

Brenda

Shock. Denial. Rage.

Fritz

Followed by gunshots to the head.