Hi, Bobby! Hey, wait a minute, your clothes!
[Bobby turns around with a black eye.]
Bobby, your eye! What in the world happened?
I got in a fight with Tommy Huxley.
Tommy Huxley? He's twice as big as you are! Why doesn't he pick on somebody his own size?
You started a fight? Why?
Well, he was acting like a big shot.
Oh. Well, you weren't by any chance feeling like a little shot, were you?
Well, I am a little shot, that all I'll ever be!
Oh, Bobby. Listen, you've heard about Napoleon Bonaparte, haven't you?
Yeah, he's that funny guy that always walked around with his hand on his stomach.
Well, he was also a little guy. And he went around trying to prove how big he was by fighting everybody.
Nope, just like you he got clobbered. So I really don't think that fighting is the answer. Do you, Bob?
[on the phone] Yeah Rachel, it’s great seeing you at school. But I still want to take you out. Well, what about a movie tomorrow night? Yeah, the drive-in. It’s a good double bill, uh, a science fiction and a western. Great, great, Rachel. Well, I’ll pick you up about 7. Bye.
[He hangs up and Bobby comes into the living room to boss Greg around again.]
[annoyed] What sounds good to you?!
Exactly what does that mean?
[Greg gets up.]
[laughs sarcastically] HA! NO WAY!
[gets upset] I HAVE TAKEN OUT THE TRASH FOR YOU! I HAVE HOSED OFF THE PATIO, HAVE SHINED YOUR SHOES, HAVE MADE YOUR BED, AND HAVE CLEANED YOUR BIKE! AND I EVEN LET YOU BEAT ME AT CHECKERS BECAUSE YOU HAVE TOLD ME TO! BUT THAT IS IT! THAT IS IT! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?
It’s okay with me! I don’t mind if she comes along or not!
[angry and to Bobby] LISTEN (VERY CAREFULLY) MR. CHIN-UP KING! I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING THAT YOU HAVE ASKED FAIR AND SQUARE! BUT THERE IS NO WAY! NO WAY YOU ARE GOING ON MY DATE WITH RACHEL!
[The scene cuts to the drive-in]
[from the backseat] You're blocking my view!
[Greg and Rachel move apart.]
And I want some more popcorn.
You've already had three bags!
I'll be back in a minute, Rachel.
[Greg gets out of the car to buy Bobby a slice of pizza.]
[Jumps into the front seat] Boy, you can really see better from up here.
RRachel
[Unenthused] Uh-huh.
RRachel
We're having a ball.
You see, I told Greg if I came you wouldn't mind.
[to Bobby] Here's the pizza you ordered! And that's all of the food you get!
[Greg angrily murmurs about the bet]
[muttering] Our bet had nothing to do with me going broke!
RRachel
Greg, wouldn't it be nice if Bobby got in the backseat to eat his pizza?
Okay! [Greg closes the car door, accidentally hits the horn, shushes Bobby] I didn't do that! Want some pizza?
How about you, Rachel? It's real good, pepperoni and onions.
RRachel
No, no thank you.
You guys don't know what you're missing!
We know what we're missing! [Attempts to embrace Rachel again]
You're blocking my view again!
Come on, Bobby, stop fooling around! You're not even watching the movie!
RRachel
I'll tell you what, why don't we all watch the movie.
[They watch the movie]
It's warm in here, put the top down.
Put the top — ? Now look, Bobby.
RRachel
You might as well do it, Greg.
[Greg puts the top down, causing several cars behind them to honk their horns because it's blocking their view]
[Bobby opens an umbrella, holds it over their heads]
What do you think you're doing?
It might rain. You wouldn't want sweetiepie to get wet, would you?
Now you're just being a wiseguy. Put that umbrella away!
I told you, it might rain!
Well, if it might rain, then I'm putting the top back up! [Retracts the roof, causing cars to honk again]
[Bobby doesn't close his umbrella, causing the tip to tear a hole in the roof. He ends up sticking the umbrella through the roof, and keeps trying to pull it out. It gets stuck, he looks at Greg]
Now you've done it! Wait till Dad sees this!
It's not your fault, Alice. [glares at the kids] Was it, kids?
Like I just said, "If you take a joke too far, someone could get hurt".
[Mike and Carol --with sad expressions-- look at the broken remains of the bust.]
Gosh, it won a prize, too.
[Carol picks up the third place ribbon.]
Well...! [sighs] So much for third place!
All right, all right! That's it! Everybody upstairs! And no allowance for two weeks! And that goes for all of you!
[Jan is mad at her siblings]
If I were an only child, I wouldn't have any phony brothers and sisters! Who needs you?!
Well, if that's what you want, I'm sure it can be arranged. Right, you guys? [Marcia, Peter, Bobby and Cindy agree]
You just lost yourself five brothers and sisters!
And you can have the whole house to yourself.
As far as you're concerned, we don't even exist.
Yeah, we're not even here!
Consider us invisible! Come on, gang, let's disappear. [Everybody but Jan leaves]
[The boys return]
[Jan leaves, Greg slams the door after her]
[Jan prepares to leave for the library, Marcia stops her]
What? [Marcia yanks her sweater back] What do you think you're doing?
So what? I always borrow your sweater!
Well, not any more. You no longer have a sister named Marcia, and if there's no Marcia, there's no Marcia's sweater.
Mom, we made a deal, remember?
Jan, do you want to stick to it?
Fine. I'll just take my invisible sweater and [snaps fingers] vanish. [leaves]
I'm afraid it is, honey, you can't have it both ways. So long. [Jan leaves]
