Peter, snow!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[Cindy pretends to share her sweets with Bobby. She asks Bobby if he wants some of her licorice. That is, as she asks him...!]
[in a fake-friendly tone] Want a piece of licorice?
Yeah!
[in mean voice] I BET YOU DO! (AND YOU GET ONLY ONE BITE!)
[Cindy takes her candy and runs away with it. That is, after she tells Bobby she knows he wants some licorice but he only gets one bite.]
BHBuddy Hinton
Baby talk, baby talk, it's a wonder you can walk.
You stop that, Buddy Hinton!
BHBuddy Hinton
Stop that! Oh witty bitty baby talk. There is no witty bitty baby talk, say something. Come on, say something.
[witnesses it and intervenes] Cut that out, Buddy!
BHBuddy Hinton
Baby, baby, what did you say?
Quit teasing my sister!
Strain a guppy out of his fish tank?
Tattletale!
All right, that's enough.
But I didn't do anything wrong. Peter stained the guppy.
All right, what Peter did was wrong and what you did was wrong, too. You know that's none of your business. Your tattling is not right and could get other people into trouble.
I'm not lending everything to a snitcher!
I'm not a snitcher. I just tell it like it is.
Well I'm not lending you my skate key after the way you squealed on Greg and Peter!
Okay, I'll tell what you did yesterday.
You little fink!
[Carol, Alice and Cindy are looking after Bobby]
[brings another pillow to rest Bobby's leg] If you ask me, I think it's a miracle.
Yes, that he only sprained his ankle.
No, I meant that it's a miracle that you have a doctor that makes house calls.
He didn't even ask Bobby to stick out his tongue and say "Ah".
Well, that's just when you sprain the tonsil. Come on, Florence Nightingale, you can help me in the kitchen, making hospital corners on the napkins.
[Mike got Bobby a parakeet]
Boy, a parakeet just for a sprained ankle. Can I get an alligator if I broke my leg?
No, so don't try it.
[The boys --Greg, Peter, and Bobby-- have broken Carol's vase when they were playing football in the house.]
MOM'S FAVORITE VASE!
She always says don't play ball in the house.
Well, we have five suspects and five confessions.
Correction. Six suspects. And #6 is looking forward to an overnight camping trip this Saturday.
By Jove, Holmes, you’ve deduced that young Peter Brady did it.
Elementary, my dear Watson, the five who confessed are covering up for the sixth who didn’t.
Right. And if Peter is guilty, then the other kids are accessories to the crime.
Well, what are we gonna do about it, Mike?
Why not we play along with their little game and punish everybody who confessed?
[gasps] What? And allow Peter to get away with it?
Honey, Peter is not going to get away with it. His conscience is not going to let him.
[The scene cuts to the living room]
Does anybody know why Dad called this meeting?
I do. He's gonna tell everybody I broke the vase. I confessed.
Oh, no.
Well, somebody had to take the blame.
I told Mom I did it.
Me too.
Thud.
[Jan collapses on the chair.]
You too?
[Jan nods.]
I guess we all confessed.
I didn’t.
You didn’t.
[angry] I wanted to in the first place! But you guys drained up this whole thing!
Peter’s right. We’re as much to blame for this as he is.
[Jan hears Mike and Carol come in.]
Shh! Here they come.
I think we’re all gonna get it now.
[Mike and Carol enter]
One of you broke your mother's vase. But five of you claimed that you did it.
There seems to be a slight communication gap in this family.
Look! No matter who broke it, the others of you who confessed are just as guilty for hiding the truth. And I’m afraid you’re all going to have to be punished.
TJTommy Johnson
Hey man, they're just plain cigarettes.
JMrs. Johnson
[furiously snaps] LOOK! YOUR FATHER, IF HE HAS TO WAIT, HE IS GOING TO BE VERY UPSET!
TTommy
I am afraid he is going to be upset anyhow. The cigarettes were mine.
JMrs. Johnson
Cigarettes? What cigarettes?
TTommy
The ones you thought were Greg’s. See? We switched jackets by mistake.
[After Tommy says this, Mrs. Johnson pauses her anger. And she says...!]
JMrs. Johnson
[calmly] Oh, I see. I certainly owe Greg an apology. (Thanks for telling the truth, Tommy.)
[Mrs. Johnson turns to Greg and says...!]
JMrs. Johnson
[to Greg] I’m really very sorry.
Yes, ma’am.
Well, if I were waiting at a crowded airport...!
[Mrs. Johnson turns to Carol.]
[to Mrs. Johnson] Mrs. Johnson, how about next Friday?
JMrs. Johnson
Yes, next Friday.
TTommy
Mom? Can we talk about it before we pick up Dad?
[Mrs. Johnson --in response-- resumes anger and says...!]
JMrs. Johnson
[furiously and snaps] I EXPECT THAT WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT BEFORE AND AFTER WE PICK UP YOUR FATHER! NOW COME ALONG, TOMMY!
[True to what Mrs. Johnson says, she expects she and Tommy talk about it both before and after they pick up --Tommy's father-- Mr. Johnson from the airport. That is, and she --Mrs. Johnson-- lets Tommy know he is going to be in serious trouble.]
Good luck, Tommy.
TTommy
Yeah, I’m sure gonna need it. See you.
WSWig seller (Guest star Marcia Wallace)
Ah, that’s our ‘Midnight Temptress’ wig.
‘Midnight Temptress’, huh? Well, I don’t think I’ll be out that late.
[Peter, Jan and Cindy are practising "The Bonnie Banks o' Loch Lomond" for the glee club]
By yon bonnie banks
PJPeter, Jan
And by yon bonnie braes
[Bobby's drum solo chimes in]
PJPeter, Jan, Cindy
Where the sun shines bright on Loch Lomond
How are we supposed to practice?
You can hear these drums all the way to Loch Lomond.
Right now I wish Bobby was in the glee club.
I wish he was in Loch Lomond.
Remember Dad, we're talking man-to-man, not kid-to-man man-to-man, but man-to-man, man-to-man.
I am a little Sunflower; sunny, brave and true. From tiny bud to blossom, I do good deeds for you.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Brady Bunch pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.