TV show quotes
Dad, I hate to interrupt you while you're on the phone, but...
[on the phone with Carol] No, no, honey. Listen, I mean it. I really mean it.
Peter's t-shirt got stuck in the vacuum.
What's all the commotion about?
Um, nothing. Me and the kids are just playing, that's all.
Peter's in the T-shirt!
What?
[about her braces] Tell me the honest truth. Do I look funny?
Of course not, Marcia. You look beautiful.
Thanks, Cindy!
But how do you get the toothpaste through all that barbed wire?
[when Cindy is about to go into the bathroom] Marcia's in there.
Daddy said to act natural — and I always barge in on Marcia when she's in the bathroom!
[to the deliveryman] You keep calling me sweetie, gorgeous & beautiful, and I'll follow you anywhere!
Sorry, I can't make it. I have my piano lessons.
I didn't know you knew how to play the piano.
I don't. That's why I gotta take lessons.
[about her diary] Okay, if you hand it right over, I won't press charges.
What are you talking about?
As if you didn't know.
Bobby, do you know what she's talking about?
No. Greg, do you know what she's talking about?
No. Marcia, do you know what you're talking about?
I certainly do! Someone in this room took my diary.
Your diary, you mean you actually keep one of those stupid things?
What's a diary?
It's a book, that you write things in, that you don't want anyone else to read.
Why?
So, you could write stuff like...
[Greg then sits at his desk imitating Marcia writing in her diary] "Dear diary, at last I met him, my dream man. It was at the delicatessen and our fingers tingled as we reached for the same potato salad."
[about the strange noises] It's probably just the wind against the shutters.
That would be a good guess, Mrs. Brady... if there was a wind... or we had shutters.
[trying to explain the strange noises] It was probably just the wind through the willow grove.
[the noises start again]
That was no wind through a willow grove.
Would you believe steeple chimes?
[During the re-enactment of the locket's disappearance; Bobby got back in bed]
Can I spit out my toothpaste?
Why didn't you spit it out in the bathroom?
You said we had to do just what we did before. I didn't spit now cause I didn't spit then. And you know somethin'?
What?
It's hard to talk with your mouth full of toothpaste.
The suspense is killing me!
So is the toothpaste!
Gas. Did we turn the gas off?
Dad, our stove is electric!
[she thinks Cindy has a cold] Cindy? Are you coming down with the sniffles?
If I am, I do not want Greg or Marcia blowing on my nose. I can do it myself.
[When Mr. Randolph --the principal-- hands Marcia the paper and asks him to read it --which is the text undeneath the drawing-- Marcia reads it. The drawing is supposed to be a picture of either George Washington, Mrs. Denton, or a hippopotamus. And Marcia says...!]
[reading the caption] "MRS. DENTON? OR A HIPPOPOTAMUS?"
Is that your drawing?
As much as we hate to do it, Marcia, I’m afraid you can’t have your sleepover (today).
[in between tears and before crying] MY PARTY?!
Honey? That drawing might have seemed funny at the time. But you just must have respect for your teachers.
[crying] But I didn’t do it! I didn’t write Mrs. Denton’s name on it, or that stupid remark!
Your principal said you did, honey. And he’s a very responsible man. He wouldn’t punish you for nothing.
[crying] You mean, you would rather believe him than me!
Marcia? What you did, that paper was in your desk. And it had your name on it. Well, what else could Mr. Randolph think?
[crying] You don’t believe me either! And if you don’t, I don’t want a party, or anything ever from you!
[While Jan, Cindy, and the other girls are upstairs washing off the itching powder after Greg pranked them with it by putting it --the itching powder-- into their sleeping bags.]
My brother (Greg) is going to regret this!
It itches, Marcia. But it’s kind of funny. I like jokes. What about the one we pulled on Mrs. Denton?
[Marcia forgets about getting revenge on Greg for the itching powder prank. And she turns to Paula. That is, and Paula is still itching her tummy from the itching powder --caused by Greg's prank.]
[to Paula] We?
Yeah, you drew the picture and I wrote the funny line. You know about the hippo?
You did that?
Yeah, didn’t you think it was funny?
Funny?! I got punished for that!
Punished? You did?
I have to stay after school for a whole week now! I almost didn’t have this sleepover because of what you wrote!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Brady Bunch pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
