Where y'all goin?! Y'all aint give me a chance to tell y'all my story! Y'all aint heard my Catcher Freeman story yet! My Catcher Freeman story better than all o' y'all! See my Catcher Freeman wurrn't no slave; he was like "fuck that shit, I'm a real nigga" y'know what sayin'! Plus he had 300 hoes and didn't just have no Thelma, he had all kinds of bitchez! And he rode a Bentley Coupe with twenty-fours and guns on the rims nigga what!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
It's a bird, it's a plane, no it's Catcher Freeman! (Catcher jumps out a tree and proceeds to kill some white men) Get them, Catcher! Looks at him go. Look out, Catcher, behind you! (Catcher throws his sword into a white man's mouth, killing him) Oh, he got that cracker! Ha Ha!
Riley:Hold up, hold up! How this nigga learned that ninja shit? They didn't know about that back then!
Look at that nigga go! Ha Ha!
Oh look you see that nigga flip from tree to tree like on some old Tarzan shit? Wait, wait, wait, bring that back; I need that again!
I be happy to that for ya. (Scene rewinds and starts up again) Look at that negro go again! Ha Ha!
HHost
Ok. Ok. Here it is. This yah boy! This yah boy look ok this moment you've all been waiting for. It's the world premier and that's not just around here that's the whole world. The brand new Gangstalicious video, the song is called Homies Over Hos.
HHuey
(The host is still talking in the background about the video) I thought you hated Gangstalicious.
I mean he a punk and all that, but he send a nigga some free CDs and apologized and all so I decided to squash it.(music starts to play) He still a punk though.
Homies over hos (bitch). Homies over hos (bitch). Homies over hos (bitch). Homies over hos (bitch). Do the homie. Do the homie. Do the homie. Do the homie. You never catchin' 'Lish, rollin' with no bitch, 'cause bitches ain't (Beep). And so my crew is thick..
The beat is iight.
... A bunch of knuckleheads. With bald heads and dreads. Nigga we hatin' on them hos like we hate the feds. Bitch can't you see fall back away from me. Me and my niggas bumpin' chests in the VIP. Now bump it to the left. Now bump it to the right. 'Cause when you do the Homie got to do it right.
HHuey
Come on Riley. The song? The dance. I mean... "do the homie?"
The homie dance ain't gay. I do the homie.
HHuey
That's not gay? You who thinks everything in the world is gay.
(flashbacks of riley) Nigga you gay. You gay. Ya'll niggas are gay. Nigga you gay. That's gay.
HHuey
You don't find any of that gay at all?
Okay, so all that others stuff was gay. But Gangstalicious ain't gay. You cant just go throwin in that "gay" thing around Huey. Thats a serious accusation.
HHuey
You the one who said he kissed a guy.
What in tarnation is he wearing?
I don't know. Do you think he's...?
On the train to Faggotsville? Absolutely. No doubt in my mind. I'm so sorry, Robert. A gay grandson, huh? I can't imagine anything worse than that.
Not Riley! Maybe there's another explanation. Maybe this is some kind of crazy sitcom misunderstanding.
No, wake up! Wake up and smell the gay coffee! All the evidence you could possibly need is right in front of your face. It'll only be a matter of time before that little boy be a grown man bent over a table with his pants 'round his ankles being entered repeatedly by another man. Toot toot! Last train to Faggotsville leavin' in five minutes! Leavin' in five minutes for that chocolate tunnel hole!
So you see, my dearest Riley, it is this instinctive and burning need to procreate between a man and a bitch that not only keeps the human race going but also fuels many important industries such as my very own.
So what do you think about Homies Over Hoes?
Is that something at Denny's? I don't know what that is.
Homies Over Hoes? You know, like, you supposed to put your homie over a ho. That's how pimps do, right?
I don't think Homies Over Hoes is a sentiment that A Pimp Named Slickback can cosign, Riley. I mean don't get me wrong. A Pimp Named Slickback would put a lot of things over a ho. Money over a ho? Always. Brand new gators over a ho? Absolutely. A turkey sandwich with just tomato? Guaranteed. But homies? Oh no. A Pimp Named Slickback don't do shit for the homies. Let me reiterate. Don't do shit for the homies. Unless the homie wanna walk that stroll and get that money, a homie ain't gettin' a goddamn thing. And the same goes for brothers, peeps, dudes, fellas, dunnies, comrades, whatever the fuck niggas is callin' each other nowadays. Sound like some gay shit to me.
HHuey
I like Elton John. But that doesn't make me gay.
Is Elton John gay?
HHuey
Yeah.
See? And YOU gay.
(gesturing effeminately) I'm the most not-gay nigga of the not-gay niggas of the whole universe!
My nigga, I watch BET everyday, feel me? Ain't nuttin' wrong wit' me, feel me? Nigga you just hatin', feel me? That's why you ain't never gonna have no paper, ain't never gonna have no bitches, feel me?
(regarding Gangstalicious)
Riley He's gay. (pause) Isn't he?
HHuey
Yep.
And I was his biggest fan. That makes me gay, don't it?
HHuey
(pauses briefly, taking the cheap shot) ...Yep.
(Riley breaks down into tears)
HHuey
(to himself, quietly) I know it's wrong. But I really want my own room.
(Huey walks to the door, and leaves just as Grandad walks in.)
HHuey
Take it easy on him, Grandad. He's just -- tryin to come to terms with it.
(Grandad kneels down next to Riley to console him.)
(pitifully) Grandad... I think I might be....
It's OK, son. I know.
...I might be.... (breaks into sobs)
(Grandad hugs Riley as they both cry)
It's OK, it's OK. Oh. You're a gay! Boy! How did that be, how did that happen....
DLDeborah Leevil
Our leader, Bob Johnson had a dream. A dream of creating a network that would accomplish what hundreds of years of slavery, Jim Crow, and malt liquor couldn't: THE DESTRUCTION OF BLACK PEOPLE! Is that so hard?
(Rollo Goodlove holds a rally which Huey attends. Various men can be heard yelling during the speech)
RRollo
Brothas and sistas! I said, brothas and sistas! I don't know what this world is coming to! (Yeah!) But if you ask me what I think about BET, I tell you with no shame: BET sucks! (SUCK DAT DICK!... SUCKS!) I say that because, when I sit and watch BET, my dignity is sucked away. And, uh, my pride is sucked away. (Everything is sucked away!) And the promise we made, for the freedom struggle over the last five decades, is sucked. Away. (IT SUUUCKS!) Now, brothas and sistas! We are here today, because we're not gon' let BET suck anymore from us! I say stand up and tell 'em, I will not be afraid none to yo' foolishness! I'm free! (FREE!) And I will not be captured by yo' ignorance, because I'm free! And I will NOT be trapped, in yo' Negro-fied matrix either! Because I am...FREE.
HHuey
Granddad, what do you do when you can't do nothing, but there's nothing you can do?
You do what you can.
MBMale BET Employee
I've got a question.
Of course you do, you didn't go to Harvard.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Boondocks pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.