Papa Q. Bear quotes from The Berenstain Bears (2003)

Papa Bear

I'm spending more time... [hiccups since the sandwich] ...on hiccup cures than I am on finishing that chair.

Papa Bear

[about the birdhouse that Brother have made] That's not a birdhouse, that's a bird mansion!

Papa Bear

Mama and I used to be quite a dance team back when we were younger.

Papa Bear

This stump has been here for years, and it spoils the appearance of my perfect yard. It's time to get rid of it once and for all. That stump must go!

Papa Bear

Whatever kind of weather will be having tomorrow, I know we're going to enjoy it.

Papa Bear

Anytime. Your tool belt will be right here waiting.

Even the flu doesn't feel this bad.

Mama Bear

How was your day at school?

We had a math test today, and...

Sister Bear

I don't feel very well, Mama.

Mama Bear

Oh, dear. [Sneezes]

Sister Bear

I think I caught Brother's cold.

Papa Bear

Yes, that doesn't surprise me. [to Brother] And now, what were you saying, son?

Me? Oh, it was nothing really. Sister's more important right now. [to Sister] Here, Sister. Let me carry your stuff.

Sister Bear

Thank you.

Papa Bear

And I'll carry you.

Mama Bear

I'll put on some chicken soup.

[shows the zero on his division test] I told you it was pretty bad.

Papa Bear

Pretty bad? Can it get any worse than zero?

Well, it can get worse when you don't tell your parents and don't get on the school bus.

That's for sure.

Mama Bear

[offscreen] You should have come to us right away.

I know, I'm sorry.

Papa Bear

At least you're coming to us now.

Sister Bear

I don't want Dr. Bearson to yank my tooth out with his big yankers!

I was only kidding. I didn't think she'd believe me. [chuckles] Sorry, Sister.

Mama Bear

Dr. Bearson isn't going to yank out your tooth with yankers. [to Sister] Your tooth will fall out on its own.

I bet that's a relief. Huh, Sister? Well, I'm going over to Freddy's for a while.

Mama Bear

[stops him] Not so fast! Sister's loose tooth doesn't explain why you didn't want any oatmeal chewies.

I had a little toothache, but it's feeling much... [his tooth starts to hurt.] better now. Ow!

Mama Bear

How long have you had this toothache?

Since this morning when I was eating a gooey gum.

Mama Bear

More gooey gums?

Papa Bear

No wonder you have a toothache. They're so sweet that even your truly papa bear wouldn't eat one.

Mama Bear

I better phone Dr. Bearson and make an appointment right away.

Mama Bear

I've got a job! I'm going to start my own quilt-making business!

Huh??

Mama Bear

[chuckles] Too busy?

Sister Bear

I promised Brother I'd make a picture.

You can make me a picture at kindergarten, Sister. They've got lots of paint, crayons and every markers you can think of.

Sister Bear

But I want to hear my storybooks!

Mama Bear

They have lots of books at kindergarten, too. With stories you haven't heard before.

Sister Bear

I was going to build something with my Toy blocks.

Papa Bear

They have enough blocks to build a Toy castle at kindergarten. That was one of Brother's things about school.

There's a tub of blocks bigger than you.

Mama Bear

What do you say, Sister? Can you give kindergarten a try?

Huh?

Sister Bear

Suitcases?

Mama Bear

So our reservations for Grizzly Mountain Lodge are all set? Thank you so much, see you soon.

Reservations?

We're going on vacation!

Mama Bear

Well, actually, it's a second honeymoon.

Still sounds like fun.

Sister Bear

Mmmm! Especially the honey part.

Papa Bear

I haven't seen these in ages. I wonder if my serve is still... [falls to the ground] Ow!

Papa, are you okay?

Sister Bear

Maybe you should just let Brother and me play tennis on the honeymoon.

You and Mama can keep score.

Mama Bear

Sorry, sweeties, but honeymoons aren't for cubs. Honeymoons are special trips that couples go on after they get married. It's an old tradition.

Papa Bear

Grizzly Mountain Lodge is where Mama and I went on our first honeymoon.

But what about us?

Mama Bear

Well, you're going on a special trip of your own.

[gasps] Is it Grizzly World?

Sister Bear

Is it Honeycomb Amusement Park?

Mama Bear

You're going to Grandma's.

[shocked] Gran's?

That should do it. Board games, books, my yo-yo. I wonder if I should bring my chemistry set.

Sister Bear

I'm bringing puzzles, coloring books and teddy bear.

Papa Bear

Beep beep. Coming through! Hey, what's all this doing out here?

Well, we are going to Gran's for a whole week. We need to keep busy.

Mama Bear

[chuckles] Come on, now. You always have fun at Gran's house without all this stuff!

When we go for one afternoon, maybe. [whispers to Mama Bear] and Gran and Gramps are old.

Sister Bear

Maybe they'll want to take naps all day.

Sister Bear

Papa, what about our toys?

Papa Bear

You won't need all those. You're going to have too much fun with Gran and Gramps. I wonder if the lodge still has canoe rides on the lake.

Mama Bear

And live music in the dance hall.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Sister Bear

A horse?

We can ride it to school!

Papa Bear

[slows them down] Whoa! Nobody said anything about a horse.

Mama Bear

A horse would need a fenced corral with lots of room to run. Our yard's just too small.

Papa Bear

And do you know how much a horse eats? More oats than I can afford!

Sister Bear

I want a pet that's warm and cuddly.

If you want something warm and cuddly, you should just get your old blanket.

Sister Bear

Well, if you want a pet that's cold and slimy, you should get some slime!

Papa Bear

[walking to them] What's all the commotion about?

[waking to Papa and Sister] None of the pets that Sister wants are any fun!

Sister Bear

All the pets that Brother wants are too weird!

They are not!

Sister Bear

ARE TOO!

Papa Bear

Now settle down. We'll go to the pet store. Maybe they'll have something you can both agree on.

The pet store? Okay.

Mama Bear

Now remember, cubs...

We know.

Nothing that eats bugs.

Sister Bear

[laughs] Or smells bad.

Hey! [sees Farmer Ben running around.] What's Farmer Ben doing?

Papa Bear

It looks like his chickens are on the loose. Let's give him a hand.

Farmer Ben

Come back here! Uh... Heal! Oh boy. Sit!

Heal?

Sister Bear

Sit?

Papa Bear

Farmer Ben must be trying to train his chickens.

Puppies!

Sister Bear

Aw! They're so cute!

Farmer Ben

These pups are getting to be quite a handful. I'm going to have to put an ad on the paper to see if I can find them good homes.

Can we have one? Please?

Papa Bear

I don't know.

Mama Bear

We'll think about it.

Sister Bear

What do we have to think about?

Papa Bear

Well, for one thing, there are the vet bills to consider.

Mama Bear

Not to mention dog tags and licenses. All of that costs money.

[hands Mama the puppy] We can save up our allowance money to help pay for it.

Mama Bear

[the puppy licks Mama] Oh my. It is kind of cute.

Papa Bear

We'll take it.

Sister Bear

Yay! We're getting a puppy!

Let's call him Prince.

Farmer Ben

[chuckles] That's a fine name for a boy dog, but I'm afraid the one you're holding is a little lady.

Sister Bear

Maybe that's what we should call her, Little Lady.

Wait until you see your new home! You're really going to like it!