The Berenstain Bears (2003) quotes

[first lines of the series, echoing the book the episode was based on]

[Sister --after bringing Brother make-up math homework-- sees Brother still playing with his dinosaur collection.]

Sister Bear

If you can hold a dinosaur, you can hold a pencil!

[Sister puts Brother's make-up work on his bed and angrily walks away. Echoing from the book, "While Brother was having fun at home, his fellow classmates --in Teacher Bob's class-- were hard at work. They learned addition, subtraction and multiplication. And now, they were learning about division". For multiplication and division, they first learned about their multiplication times tables through 9 --counting by 1's, 2's, 3's, 4's, 5's, 6's, 7's, 8's and 9's-- and now they were learning multiplication and division facts through 9. But Brother, he has not done any of his multiplication and division homework since Sister brought him it on Monday.]

Teacher Bob

If you all take your seats, we can get started on the math test. Please remember to show me all your calculations on the margin.

[The quiz is about division. It's about division facts --1 through 9. For multiplication, Brother's class learned multiplication facts through 9. Now on division, it was division facts through 9. In the book version, it says, "Then when Brother got back to school, Teacher Bob said to him and his class, 'I certainly hope you studied that math folder. Because we are going to have a quiz'. 'A quiz?', asked Brother. 'About what?'. 'About division of course', said Teacher Bob as he handed out the quiz packets".]

Teacher Bob

Goodbye! I'll see you tomorrow.

[Even though most of the students did great, there was one "F" and that was Brother. Teacher Bob glares at Brother. Then it cuts to Brother. That is, who looks guilty after failing the division quiz. Brother may have gotten every single problem wrong or cheated with another student's test.]

Teacher Bob

I'm afraid it isn't, Brother.

[Teacher Bob then reveals the division quiz. There is a number "0" on the test. Teacher Bob wrote on the division quiz, VERY POOR! MUST BE SIGNED BY PARENT!. That is, and in other words, "Brother not only got every problem wrong or cheated. But he also got a great big '0'". In summary, "He --Brother-- not only got every problem wrong. But he also scored a perfect '0'". In the book, and echoing from it, the actual page reads, "The quiz was a disaster! Not only did Brother get every problem wrong! But Teacher Bob wrote on the paper 'VERY POOR! MUST BE SIGNED BY PARENT!'".]

[After Brother says this, Teacher Bob is concerned. He asks if Brother studied for the division quiz. That is, as he asks Brother...!]

Teacher Bob

Didn't you do the worksheets I sent home with Sister?

Teacher Bob

Hmm?

Teacher Bob

I'm glad to hear that.

Teacher Bob

Oh, one more thing. Please have your parents sign that test and bring it back to me tomorrow.

[Brother looks at his test which was about division.]

Mama Bear

How was your day at school?

[Sister starts sick coughing and sneezing.]

Sister Bear

I don't feel very well, Mama.

Mama Bear

Oh, dear. [Sneezes]

Papa Bear I don't like the sound of that.

Mama Bear You're running a temperature.

Sister Bear

I think I caught Brother's cold.

Papa Bear

Yes, that doesn't surprise me. [to Brother] And now, what were you saying, son?

Sister Bear

Thank you.

Papa Bear

And I'll carry you.

Mama Bear

I'll put on some chicken soup.

[Mama and Papa are unaware that Brother cheated or didn't pass his division quiz. And now, they're trying to take care of Sister.]

[The scene cuts to Gramps and Gran's dining room. Brother is at their table having milk and chocolate chip cookies.]

[Gran flattens out the division quiz --which Brother had made into a paper airplane-- and rolls it out with her rolling pin. That is, to get the wrinkles out of the quiz.]

[By that saying of Brother, the division test looks better than it did. That is, but it still has a great big "0".]

[Mama and Papa look at the division quiz. And they find a great big "0" on it.]

Papa Bear

Pretty bad? Can it get any worse than zero?

Mama Bear

[offscreen] You should have come to us right away.

Papa Bear

At least you're coming to us now.

Sister Bear

I don't want Dr. Bearson to yank my tooth out with his big yankers!

Mama Bear Big yankers? Who told you that? [angrily galres at Papa. Papa nods his head no as he didn't tell Sister about the dentist pulling out her teeth with yankers. Then they all turn to Brother.]

Mama Bear

Dr. Bearson isn't going to yank out your tooth with yankers. [to Sister] Your tooth will fall out on its own.

Mama Bear

[stops him] Not so fast! Sister's loose tooth doesn't explain why you didn't want any oatmeal chewies.

Papa Bear Yes, you usually eat two or three at a time.

Mama Bear

How long have you had this toothache?

Mama Bear

More gooey gums?

Papa Bear

No wonder you have a toothache. They're so sweet that even your truly papa bear wouldn't eat one.

Mama Bear

I better phone Dr. Bearson and make an appointment right away.

Mama Bear

You'd better make sure you put your tooth under your pillow tonight.

Sister Bear

Why?

Sister Bear

No way! This is my first tooth! I'm keeping it!

[Mama Brother and sister start laughing]

WATCH HIM GO!

WATCH HIM DRIBBLE OFF HIS TOE!

[After Too-Tall the bully. And his two friends Smirk and Skuzz teased Brother in the classroom, school yard, and on the bus back home from school --which was the chant "Brother, Brother!/Teacher's Pet!/Now he is the principal's pet!", "Brother, Brother!/He's so good!/He does everything he should!", and "Brother, Brother!/He's so sweet!/The sweetest cub you ever met!"-- Brother befriended a new cub named Massive Milton. And after Too-Tall, Smirk, and Skuzz teased Milton, Too-Tall teases Brother again and he --Too-Tall-- says...!)

Too-Tall

[to Brother] WELL?! LA-DI-DAH! BROTHER BEAR --THE PRINCIPAL'S PET-- IS STICKING UP FOR MASSIVE MILTON!

[This line --said by Too-Tall-- was also from the "Too Much Teasing" book.]

Woman 2 Excuse me! But I think I saw them first!

Sister Bear

NO! (YOU CAN'T BUY THESE QUILTS!) MAMA MADE THOSE FOR US! [Sister and Brother both hug the quilts]

Mama Bear

I'm sorry. But these quilts aren't for sale. I'm just airing them out.