Farmer Ben quotes from The Berenstain Bears (2003)

[The scene dissolves to Mama Papa Sister and Brother in the family car on the way to the pet store]

Mama Bear

Now remember, cubs...

Sister Bear

[laughs] Or smells bad.

Papa Bear

It looks like his chickens are on the loose. Let's give him a hand.

[Papa parks the car so they can see what Farmer Ben is doing]

Farmer Ben

Come back here! Uh... Heal! Oh boy. Sit!

Sister Bear

Sit?

Papa Bear

Farmer Ben must be trying to train his chickens.

[A litter of puppies race towards Brother and Sister]

Sister Bear

Aw! They're so cute!

Farmer Ben

These pups are getting to be quite a handful. I'm going to have to put an ad on the paper to see if I can find them good homes.

Papa Bear

I don't know.

Mama Bear

We'll think about it.

Sister Bear

What do we have to think about?

Papa Bear

Well, for one thing, there are the vet bills to consider.

Mama Bear

Not to mention dog tags and licenses. All of that costs money.

Mama Bear

[the puppy licks Mama] Oh my. It is kind of cute.

Papa Bear

We'll take it.

Sister Bear

Yay! We're getting a puppy!

Farmer Ben

[chuckles] That's a fine name for a boy dog, but I'm afraid the one you're holding is a little lady.

Sister Bear

Maybe that's what we should call her, Little Lady.

[Farmer Ben --unnoticed at first-- uses himself like a scarecrow. Brother Bear and the big cubs --Too-Tall, Smirk, and Skuzz-- think he's a scarecrow --and that there's a real scarecrow in the watermelon patch-- in the spite of that. That is, although they fail to notice him. He uses himself as a scarecrow --having his eyes shut, arms spread out, feet together, and his face like a scarecrow's face-- in the middle of the watermelon patch. That is, as if there really is a scarecrow in his patch. So Farmer Ben --striking the pose-- pretends to be a scarecrow. Brother --after picking out the biggest and greenest skinned watermelon-- gets the melon off the vine, breaks the stem off of it, and picks it up. But when he picks up the melon, Farmer Ben moves a little by smiling. Then he opens his eyes, makes his mouth into an "O" shape, and --offscreen-- undoes his scarecrow pose. Then he --as if returning back to his normal self-- runs up to Brother and catches him.]

Farmer Ben

GOTCHA!

[Brother Bear tries to run away --only to be tightly grabbed by Farmer Ben.]

[The scene cuts to Too-Tall the bully. And his two friends --Smirk and Skuzz. When they see that Brother is caught by Farmer Ben, they run away.]

Too-Tall

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

[Too-Tall the bully. And his two friends run away screaming. Farmer Ben does not notice Too-Tall the bully. And his two friends --Smirk and Skuzz-- but he talks to Brother about the dee-double dare incident. And he --Farmer Ben-- is unaware that Too-Tall, Smirk, and Skuzz are invading his melon patch again.]

Farmer Ben

BROTHER BEAR! WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING STEALING WATERMELONS WITH TOO-TALL AND HIS NO GOOD GANG?!

[As Farmer Ben says this, he wants to know what in the Earth Brother Bear --stealing Too-Tall-- is doing with that watermelon.]

Farmer Ben

That dee double dare is so hard to resist.

Farmer Ben

Well, it's okay, Brother. It's not your fault. I'm not going to call in and tell your parents about this one watermelon stealing mistake.

Farmer Ben

[To the trios Too-Tall, Smirk, and Skuzz] TOO-TALL!

[Farmer Ben, he approaches the gang.]

Farmer Ben

[continues] IF I CATCH YOU OR ANY OF YOUR GANG IN MY WATERMELON PATCH AGAIN, YOUR PARENTS ARE GOING TO HEAR FROM ME! NOW GET ON HOME!

Too-Tall

Please don't tell our parents!

[As the trios says this, they run for their very lives. That is, after hearing the warning from Farmer Ben.]

Farmer Ben

[chuckles] Those cubs make my chickens look tough.

[In the book adaptation, it was Two-Ton Grizzly --Too-Tall's papa-- who saved Brother. The narration of the page reads, "He looked like Too-Tall. But he was much, much, much bigger. It was Too-Tall's papa Two-Ton Grizzly. 'Wha, wha, what is up, Pop?', asked Too-Tall. 'What is up', growled Two-Ton, 'it was a little phone call that I had from Farmer Ben about you!'. 'And', he added as he turned to the gang, 'if I hear about any more shenanigans, all of your parents are going to hear from me! Now get on home!'". But in the cartoon, Farmer Ben saved Brother. And he was the one who talked to Too-Tall, Smirk, and Skuzz about the dee-double dare incident. However, in both adaptations, the "warning" phrase was the same --Two-Ton in the book/Farmer Ben in the cartoon-- which was, "...all of your parents are going to hear from me!". In this version --the book-- Farmer Ben said, "TOO-TALL, SMIRK, AND SKUZZ! IF I EVER CATCH YOU IN MY WATERMELON PATCH AGAIN, ALL OF YOUR PARENTS ARE GOING TO HEAR FROM ME! NOW GET ON HOME!".)

Sister Bear [To Farmer Ben about the cows] It's all our fault, Farmer Ben!

Sister Bear

We forgot the latch the gate this morning!

Sister

Shep got them back in, but it was too late!

Sister Bear

Something that made them sick!

[Farmer Ben smiles]

Farmer Ben

The stinky milk mystery.

Sister Bear

[sighs] They're not sick?