[whispering] What are we gonna do?
[whispering] I don't know.
Maybe we should just go outside again, this time through the front door.
Okay, prepare to get wet.
[Gumball opens the door, but the bucket containing dried concrete falls in front of Gumball and Darwin almost hitting them]
Gumball, what's wrong with you? You're hyperventilating! [grabs Gumball] Stop panicking, Gumball! Just calm down! (slapping Gumball) GET...A...GRIP! SNAP...OUT...OF...IT!!!
CUT IT OUT! You're making it worse.
Oh. Sorry. How's this? [rubs Gumball gently] Does that feel better?
[calms down] Much better. Now hold me and tell me everything's gonna be okay.
Everything's gonna be okay, buddy.
[Darwin kisses Gumball on the head. However, their moment of peace abruptly ends when Richard crashes through the wall, scaring them]
SSquirrel
Aww. Why so sad? You need to find your happy place!
[Beat]
THERE IS NO HAPPY PLACE!!!! [The squirrel falls over from the loudness. Gumball starts sobbing] Oh, I'm sorry, little creature!
[sobs] I'm sorry I couldn't help you forget.
[The squirrel starts sobbing as well]
[Screaming] Aw man, that was intense.
[Gumball wakes up for real]
[Gumball and Anais scream; Gumball then stops screaming, and sighs three times]
Oh, come on! That's the fifth time tonight!
See, Darwin? No girl can resist me.
[Shouts at Gumball in excitement] Come on! Put the game on!
[Opens the disc tray] Come on, come on. [Gasps] Oh, there you are. [Attempts to insert the cartridge in the disc tray, but it obviously does not fit] There's something wrong with it!
[Shouting] Try the other way around! [Shakes flippers]
[Gumball tries again, to no avail]
[Shouting] Come on! Can't you see I'm practically flipping my flippers?
What is that supposed to mean?
[Anxiously flapping his flippers] IT MEANS PUT THE GAME ON!
I can't! It's not working!
[Darwin stops flipping his flippers]
[Looks at the game cartridge] I think we got stiffed.
BBobert
It’s the algorithm for smile.
Bobert... That was nice and sweet an all, but... [throws Bobert’s smile algorithm away] You’ve got a lot to learn, If you want to be real, then you had to have proper emotions.
You know... Like feelings and stuff.
You know... When you feel things... Like pain.
[Gumball and Darwin stop pinching each other and they start crying]
Did she say avoid or go through the Forest of Doom?
[Sighs] What would I do without you, Darwin? She said go through the Forest of Doom. Am I right, or am I wrong, Miss Simian?
Darwin, you know what's important in a situation like this?
[Laughs loudly, then sighs] No, teamwork.
Oh. I was gonna say that next.
Don't worry, buddy. You're part of my team, and I'm a born survivor!
I'm glad I'm on your team! Hey, little squirrels! [Walks off]
You wouldn't be naked if I had my lunchbox.
I sure wish I had my lunchbox.
You came back to save me?
Of course. We're a team, remember?
I am sorry I was such a jerk to you before. I guess I was pretty hungry, and cold, and... naked.
Maybe you shouldn't have thrown away my lunchbox...
...and swallowed the map...
...and made me chew on the rock.
Okay, I said I was sorry. Remember? So, still friends.
Of course! [he gives Gumball a naked hug.]
Cool, since I twisted my ankle there, I promise you to take me to the Picnic Area.
Hmm...Okay, I think I got it. You should always tell the truth, unless you have to lie, but if you do lie, you should tell the truth about it, unless you're talking to someone who's lying, because if they tell a lie and you tell the truth for once, then it'll be a lie because you were lying about telling the truth, inside of a lie, so the whole thing is a lie while you are still being true in your heart.
[Having overheated from all the exposition, Darwin's head explodes, and his body lies down to the floor]
But that's your fifth box.
Well, it's because, uh… I'm growing?
Well, could you try and grow slower? This is costing me a fortune. Thanks.
Aw, don't talk to me about those rosy-cheeked, baby-faced, (points at them) HAIRY MUTANTS!
[after firing themselves, macho Darwin and Gumball are sulking in a run-down apartment]
Ah, I can't believe we lost our jobs.
So this is being an adult, huh?
DGDarwin & Gumball
Rent overdue?! [Gumball holds a rotten candy cane]
And this is our last piece of food.
And I think we should share it.
[already eaten it] Sorry, what was that? [Darwin thunders angrily at Gumball]
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ATE OUR LAST PIECE OF CANDY!
WELL, I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M STUCK HERE WITH YOU!
I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE BOTH YELLING!!
I KNOW, WE'RE TRYING TO HIDE FROM THE LANDLORD!!
OKAY!!! [both wallow in self-pity] I wish we were kids again.
[walks away sobbing] I'll be in my room.
CColin
[In DVD recording] Greetings, Gumball Watterson, from our secret lair.
Isn't that just the library?
CColin
[In DVD recording] So, you think you're too good for us, eh? Well, you'll soon change your mind when we upload your embarrassing school record in a web video hosted by none other than you.
[In DVD video recording, pretending to be Gumball]
CColin (Pretending to be Gumball)
My name's Gumball Watterson. and my IQ is smaller than my shoe size. I wore diapers until the age of eleven and once got detention for calling Miss Simian "mum."
[Screams] He looks just like you!
CColin
[In DVD recording] Our revenge plan is almost complete.
CComputer
[In DVD recording] Uploading. Ten minutes until completion.
CColin
[In DVD recording] [Evil laugh] And, cut! How was I? Evil enough?
Great, now the nerds are bullying me! Do you want me to deal with this on my own?
No. When someone picks a fight with one of us, they pick a fight with all of us. Everybody, get in the car. We've still got time to stop them.
But where is their secret hideout?
[Gumball and Darwin are playing with a plastic toy wand that they got from a cereal box.]
[Gasps] Magic wand! [Runs, then falls over] Can I have a turn?
Sure, but it doesn't really --
Cool! With this, I can make all my wishes come true. [Waves wand] My first wish is that this doesn't turn out to be a big fraud. Like that stupid wishbone!
Well, when I was a boy about your age...
[A flashback plays, where a young Richard and Granny Jojo break a wishbone.]
I wish that the sausages would fly into my mouth. [He opens his mouth, but nothing happens] Mom, I made a wish on the wishbone but nothing happened.
What did you think, that it was gonna come true? Magic isn't real.
[Gasps] You mean, it's a fraud?
[Richard screams throughout his childhood, including his teenage years, which we hear him hitting puberty.]
[Voice-over] And I didn't stop screaming for 15 years.
[Richard can be seen screaming in his yearbook photo. As an adult, he screams at the movies, and finally, during his and Nicole's wedding. Flashback ends.]
I never believed in anything again. But I believe this will be different. Now, I've got some wishing to do! Hehe, hehe, hehe!
[Mrs. and Mr. Robinson are destroying Richard's car] This is what happens when you mess with Gaylord! This is what happens! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS! THIS... IS... WHAT... HAPPENS!
They look kind of angry, Gumball.
DSDoughnut Sheriff
Please, stop! Please!
[Mrs. Robinson turns around, hissing, as she is about to assault the Doughnut Sheriff with the duster, making him more nervous]
DSDoughnut Sheriff
Please, ma'am, drop the duster! Please! No, ma'am! [Pulls out his taser] No, no! [Zaps Mrs. Robinson]
[Mrs. Robinson falls down. The Doughnut Sheriff realizes his mistake, and Mr. Robinson slowly turns his head to see the electrocuted Mr. Robinson.]
[In slow-motion] MARGARET!!
DSDoughnut Sheriff
No, sir, no, please!
[Mr. Robinson angrily jumps over the Doughnut Sheriff, ready to attack him with the golf club, then camera cuts to the electrified Mr. and Mrs. Robinson]
Maybe we should give them time to calm down.
Well, it seems like it's just not my day, but that's ok, because it's nothing a good song won't fix! [Singing] When life hands you lemons, you gotta make some lemonaaaade... [Breathes in, about to sing louder, but is stepped on by Hector]
Where did you get your clothes, the Lost and Found?! Hahaha!
Well actually, yes, I did.
Ohh, where did you get your clothes, the circus?! Haha!
Dude, we kind of just went over this already, Lost and Found.
Where did you get your clothes, the swim shop and the hat shop?! Hahaha!
[Principal Brown opens the door]
WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR BRAIN FROM, THE DOLLAR STORE?!
[Sees Principal Brown leaving him shocked, Banana Joe and Idaho walk away, Gumball smiles nervously at Principal Brown]
Seven hours detention, for hurting my feelings.
[Hands over a pink sheet] I'll see you after school.
FINE! [Takes sheet] OW, PAPERCUT!
[Principal Brown reenters the room. Gumball starts crying soon afterwards]
[Both look directly at the gross jar which mysteriously creates an eyeball. Gumball and Darwin scream]
Dude, where did you find an eyeball?
I-I didn't. It must be the atomic power of the microwave.
[The microwave dings, and smoke appears]
It looks like it's alive.
[Gumball opens the microwave door, then takes out the gross jar. Eyes and a mouth are created]
Did you hear that? It called you "Mom."
Hmm. Then I guess that makes you its dad.
Its dad?! Aah! What are we gonna do?! I don't want to be a baby father! Let's ditch it!
Shh! Don't say stuff like that in front of him! I mean, come on. He's kind of cute. Hello, little guy.
[Kenneth laughs]
Don't you worry about a thing. Me and your father will take care of everything.
[Off-screen] Give it back!
[Scene changes to the Wattersons' dining room where Richard, Nicole and Gumball are aruging while Darwin and Anais watch in fear]
[Richard snatches the hat and Nicole and Gumball slams him to the ground]
But I'm on Hat or No Hat tomorrow!
Stop it! [All stop and look at Anais] Look at what you've become! This stupid hat is driving you crazy!
It's not a helmet or a hat! It's a piece of tinfoil! And it's tearing this family apart! Look at you! You're behaving like animals!
[Sighs] Anais is right. That helmet has such a grip on us.
It's like its magic is taking control of the person who wears it!
Ha! Well, since none of you guys want it, I guess I can have it back.
No! Me and Darwin have been talking, and we've decided it has to be destroyed.
What?! You can't destroy it! I'm nothing without it!
I'm sorry, honey, but Anais is right.
[Anais walk towards Gumball]
Can- can I have one more go?
No! [Snatches the helmet out of Gumball's hands]
No! No! No! It's mine! Aah! Aah! No! It's my helmet! [Tries to get helmet back]
[Richard and Nicole stop Gumball from taking the helmet, while Gumball goes crazy]
Dude, chill out. It's just a bucket with some tinfoil on it.
Aaah! Give it back! It's my helmet! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
