You mean you're gonna kill yourself?
Of course not. Suicide is the coward's way out. I'm gonna let YOU kill me.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
It's no use, Lurch. Apparently I am doomed to live.
Sorry, sir.
[joining Gomez at the window] Well, what do they look like?
Oh, just ordinary moving men. One's tall; one's medium.
No, darling, I mean the new neighbors.
Oh. I haven't seen them yet.
Oh, Gomez, we've been very selfish. After all, they're newlyweds. I should've been over there a long time ago with a pot of henbane soup, some of my dwarf's hair cobbler, and marital advice.
Let's go over right now.
No, darling, I have a better idea. Let's invite them over tonight for a game of bridge.
You think they'll want to play bridge on their wedding night?
Oh course. It'll relax them.
Mother! Father! Wednesday's flown the coop!
Talk sense boy.
She's run away from home.
Really? Very adventurous spirit. I didn't run away from home until I was eight.
That's ridiculous.
She even left a note. I helped her write it.
[Hands note to Morticia]
[reading] "Dear Mother and Father, I hate you. Love, Wednesday. P.S. Don't bother looking for me because I'm not anywhere. Goodbye, W."
If you knew she was running away, why didn't you stop her?
You know women, once they've made up their minds...
[Gomez and Morticia are outside Puglsey's room, where Wednesday is hiding, and try to convince her to come out using reverse psychology]
Well, I guess Wednesday is really gone.
Someday, when she's slaving away in a tuna cannery, she may remember the life of ease she had in this lovely home.
Ragged, penniless, her little fingers bleeding from the tuna cans, she may return and say she's sorry.
And when that happens, we'll take her back. If we have room.
If they have room?
Come, my dear. Let's go down and remove her pictures from the family album.
Ah darling, you look so serene and happy when you're throwing knives.
Family trait.
I feel so good now, I'm gonna go out and chase automobiles. Wonderful hobby!
MMelancholia
[explaining the reason for her surprise visit] It's Fred, my intended.
He jilted you.
MMelancholia
Well, I can't really say. He just took back his ring, sold his farm and joined the Foreign Legion.
That is kind of indefinite.
Mama is cooking up a real surprise.
I am so hungry I could eat a wolf.
Gomez, you guessed it!
Look at Mr. Addams. He's always developing outside interests.
Right now I have the most enviable collection of coroner reports in the neighborhood.
We must not indulge fear. I remember my Cousin Blob, deathly afraid of ghosts.
Ghosts?
Now he's one himself.
Ah yes... I hear him on dark, stormy nights.
Oh darling, those strange sounds from the attic aren't Cousin Blob.
No?
They're Grandma Squint. You can tell from her superb cackle.
Ah yes... like music to my ears.
[to Wednesday Addams] I like being miserable.
But what I need is the eye of a critic.
A critic?
Yes, someone who'd give an unbiased opinion of my work.
If you don't believe me, you could ask Uncle Fester.
Oh well, he's sweet, but he has an axe to grind.
Well that's just for recreation.
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