Wednesday Addams quotes from The Addams Family

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Wednesday

Father, it was terrible. They killed him.

Mr. Hilliard?

Wednesday

The dragon.

What dragon? Who killed a dragon?

Wednesday

A knight in shining armor. He killed the dragon.

I can't believe anyone would kill a dragon.

The poor, defenseless dragon.

That isn't all. You ought to hear some of the other stories in her book.

Let me see that, darling. [Pugsley hands the book to Morticia and she reads the title] Grimm's Fairy Tales. What a lovely name, Grimm. How could he write such terrible stories?

Must be sick. Atavistic cruelty. Perverse barbarism. Such violence. [Speaks in foreign language]

Gomez!

That settles it. No more school.

Good thinking, sir.

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[Gomez and Morticia are outside Puglsey's room, where Wednesday is hiding, and try to convince her to come out using reverse psychology]

Well, I guess Wednesday is really gone.

Someday, when she's slaving away in a tuna cannery, she may remember the life of ease she had in this lovely home.

Ragged, penniless, her little fingers bleeding from the tuna cans, she may return and say she's sorry.

And when that happens, we'll take her back. If we have room.

Wednesday

If they have room?

Come, my dear. Let's go down and remove her pictures from the family album.

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Wednesday

Are you the Doctor that's going to cure Uncle Fester?

MDr. Milford

Well, I'm certainly going to try my best.

Wednesday

Where's your mask and spear?

MDr. Milford

My what?

Wednesday

The last doctor we had came like that.

MDr. Milford

Yes, well, um... Uh, this was the best I could do on a spur of the moment.

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You mean hit my own father with an Indian club?

Wednesday

It's for his own good.

Then you do it.

Wednesday

He might get mad at me.

He might get made at me, too.

Wednesday

But while father is ill, you're the head of the family.

[stands up] Hand me that club!

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I'm going to get you a lovely, golden-haired doll that says "Mama."

Wednesday

But what have I done?

Nothing.

Wednesday

Then why are you punishing me?

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Wednesday

[holding up her headless doll] I'm donating Mary Queen of Scots.

Darling, that IS your most precious possession.

Wednesday

I can chop a head off another doll.

I know, but all the heads don't come off as nicely as this one. Are you sure you want to donate Mary?

Wednesday

Yes, but I'll never be able to look her head in the eye again.