TV show quotes
I think we might be in her pocket.
What?
I think she might have shrunk us, and put us in a matchbox in her pocket.
That's ridiculous. You're falling to pieces! Get a grip on yourself! How can we be in a matchbox, you idiot?! Where are all the matches?
[In an elevator]
This could be a long torture session.
I'll tell you anything you wanna know.
Torture first, then you talk. It's better that way. Rush a torture, ruin a torture.
[The Queen stops while walking past Wolf's cell]
You. What are you?
Me? A fine, fine chap, falsely accused-
I will not ask again. What are you?
Shh. Don't tell anyone, but- [his eyes flash yellow] Wolf.
[Antony has been captured by the prison staff following the Queen's escape; thanks to a wish he made, Antony can hear Prince Wendell telepathically after his transformation into a dog]
We've searched every inch of the prison, but the Queen's gone, sir.
I have been the governor of this prison for twelve years. No prisoner has ever escaped before.
That's a very impressive record.
Whatever you do, Antony, don't tell him I'm a dog.
Why not?
Speak when you're spoken to!
Because the Queen has got some terrible plan. My whole kingdom may be in jeopardy. No one must know I'm helpless.
[...]
HOW did the Queen ESCAPE?!
I'm telling you, I have no idea.
Then WHY were you found locked in her empty cell?!
I am an innocent victim. I have never been in trouble with the police my entire life.
Then why are you wearing handcuffs?
Well, because I'm wanted for armed robbery which I didn't have anything to do with either.
Oh, carry on, Antony. You're doing spectacularly well so far.
Look, look, I'm from a different dimension. I came here from a different dimension led by that dog, who is actually Prince Wendell.
Oh, I told you not to say that.
[visibly annoyed] Prince Wendell? Look. I can make you break rocks with your teeth for a hundred years.
I'm telling you, it's the truth.
That is the Queen's dog. She has been permitted to keep him in her cell for three years. Do not insult my intelligence.
I'm not, I'm telling you, it's the tru-- All right, fine, I'll prove it. Bark once if I'm telling the truth.
I have no intention of barking, Antony.
Our mirror's smashed, what can we do? Where the hell are the other two?
Mirror one shattered be, by an oaf called Anthony. [Tony avoids looking at anyone] Mirror two is on a bed with barnacles upon its head.
A bed... with barnacles.
The sea bed!
Yes. One fell into the Great Northern Sea. I think you can safely discount that one.
What you seek has not been seen, since it was stolen by the Queen.
The Queen! That's all we need.
Anthony, uh, any chance of a little biscuit?
No, no, no, umm... Very helpful you have been, just tell us where we can find the Queen.
Near she is, but not alone. in a place that's not her home. In a castle, out of sight,where once the Queen was called Snow White.
That's Prince Wendell's castle.
["Saturday Night Fever" plays on a boom box]
They are called 'The Brothers Gibb.'
And the song: it concerns a deadly fever that only strikes on Saturdays.
I am alone. And unarmed.
As am I.
I have done as you asked. Now, where are my children?
To be quite honest, I have no idea. I simply used them as an excuse to get you to meet me.
Then I will kill you.
Don't you wish to hear my great plan first?
I have known of your 'plan' all along. To put the imposter Prince on the throne, and rule the 4th Kingdom yourself.
Do you think I spent seven years rotting in jail just to rule one of the Nine Kingdoms? I intend to have them all.
[The Troll King hesitates, visibly confused]
But... where do I fit in?
Yes, I see what you mean.
I have heard enough! Trolls, arise! [the Troll King's men come out of hiding and surround the Queen] You didn't expect that, did you? My men have been hiding for the past hour.
I'm amazed at your foresight. And had you arrived two hours earlier you would have found me... poisoning the apples! [Relish and his men collapse as the poison takes effect] Poison is something of a science with me, and I seem to have timed it just right. You know what they say, Relish? An army marches on its stomach.
[Wolf offers to test Wendell's "prince sensing skills" before tossing a stick at his gold-imprisoned dog form] That's not funny!
It could get funnier if we keep on doing it.
[A magical bullfrog awaits the heroes in front of two doors]
One door leads to safety. One door leads to a horrible death. [croaks] Ribbit. You may ask me one question. Ribbit. But I always lie.
Oh, I learned this in school but I could NEVER remember it!
If we ask him which one's the safe door...
Well then he'll lie, and say it's the other one. Or is it the other way around?
I don't know!
Time's up, then-
All right, all right. Wait, wait! I have a question! What is the point in having a door that has a horrible death behind it? Huh? [picks up frog]
What are you doing?!
What does that achieve?!
[Tony starts walking towards the doors, holding the frog]
Get your hands off me!
I mean, what is the purpose of your life? Just to be a pain?!
Don't touch me there, only my girlfriend touches me there!
[Tony throws the frog through one of the doors]
WHOA!
[Tony slams the door; it shakes violently as a large explosion occurs behind it]
I guess it's the other one.
In your whole life, did you ever once love me?
[The Queen turns away, seeing herself ten years ago, trying to drown Virginia and then fleeing their apartment as Tony gets home]
[struggling] Oh, that's not me!
[The Queen approaches Virginia, seeming to finally recognize her; The Huntsman enters before she can speak]
My lady, we have a problem in the kitchens.
Take this girl away and lock her up! I will finish with her afterwards.
After what? What're you gonna do to everybody?!
My crafty little wolf. You had me worried for a while.
Oh, when you freed me from prison, I agreed to serve you. A wolf always keeps his bargain.
After tonight, when I rule the Nine Kingdoms, wolves will be very important. I will make them my secret police, and you will be the chief.
Huff-puff! Chief Wolf!
Anyone for seconds? No? [The Huntsman brings Virginia into the room] You certainly are persistent.
Are you gonna kill me as well?
I was going to let you go. I don't know why.
You know why.
Go. Leave me. Get out while you can.
No.
[exasperated] You were nothing but an accident! You should've been killed at birth!
[Virginia slaps The Queen]
How dare you. How dare you speak to me like that!
Kill her now! [The Huntsman hesitates] Kill her! Or I'll do it myself.
[The Huntsman raises his crossbow]
NO!
WOLF!
[Wolf charges The Huntsman, who fires his crossbow straight up as they struggle; The Queen moves in and begins strangling Virginia]
Stop. Mom.
[The Huntsman dies as his crossbow's bolt comes back down and hits him, pinning Wolf underneath him]
Cripes!
[Desperately, Virginia reaches up for the poisoned ornate comb The Queen is wearing in her hair, and strikes her across the cheek with it]
You've drawn- blood.
I'm sorry. [The Queen turns, walks a short distance, then collapses, dying from the poison] No! Please don't die! Don't die! Just remember who you are!
It's too late. Oh, don't cry, my little girl. My little girl. I gave away my soul.
And now, for the greatest bravery imaginable. For courage in the face of relentless and terrible danger, I award my dear friends the highest medals in my Kingdom. Firstly, my temporary manservant, Antony. My people, look upon my friend. No longer is he spineless and wallowing in self-pity.
[wincing] Thanks.
No longer is he a balding, useless coward who would rather run than fight.
I think they got the message.
No longer is he selfishly driven by envy and greed.
Wendell, the medal.
No. He is heroically transformed. What braver man could exist, than Antony the Valiant?
I hope you like dogs, Wendell. You're going to spend the rest of your life as one.
There are no 'masters' here! Only one mistress! Don't forget that, doggy.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The 10th Kingdom pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
