Look, man. If God had meant for virgins to lose it to other virgins, he wouldn't have given us middle-aged hookers, man!
Amen, brother! Because if there's one thing men like us know, it's how to have sex. ...Oh, I cannot live with this lie. Everyone, prepare to be shocked. I, Fez...am still a virgin.
[sarcastically] Gosh, my world no longer makes sense. Fine, Hyde. But now that the middle-aged hooker ship has sailed, what am I supposed to do?
Well, I know I got a lot better when I started making out with your sister. I got it! You should make out with my sister!
Kelso, man, I've seen your sister. She's a virgin, and she's gonna be for a long time.
Hyde, what are you saying?
Well, I think he's saying... "Moooo!"
Okay, maybe you did not hear me. Fez, the man you all revere... has still not had sex.
Yeah, heard you the first time. Forman, you've gotta figure out what you're doin' wrong, man. And fast. You know what women call guys who are lame in the sack? Just friends.
Yeah, but you can't let the pressure get to you. I mean, don't think about how embarrassing it'd be if you tried, and you couldn't. How she'd stare at you with those cruel black eyes. As if to say... "You're not really a man, Michael! YOU'RE NOT A MAN AT ALL!"
[pause] O...kay. Well, this has been... really helpful, guys.
Alright, you called my bluff. I am not really a virgin. [chuckles] ...Yes, I am.
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