Mikey quotes from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012)

Donnie

But now that I know what caused this, I think I can engineer an antidote from the remaining sample.

Mikey

[delighted] Yes, yes, yes! [hugs Donnie] I love you, man.

Splinter

Then you must start right away.

Donnie

I'm just missing one key instrument, though. A molecular centrifuge to mix the solution.

Mikey

No problem! Money is no object! [to Leo] Leo, can I borrow some cash?

Donnie

From what I could translate from the orb, it seems the Kraang are building some advanced heavy weaponry.

Leo

Any guess what it could be?

Mikey

[raises his hand] Ooh! Lasers disguised as burritos! Yes! It all makes sense now.

Raph

It DOES make sense... you have the brain of an AVOCADO!

Leo

Alright, guys, stay focused. We find the weapon and we destroy it, and then we get Mexican... pizza.

Mikey

Yo! You ready for 48 hours of mega-thrusting, evil-fighting, galaxy-saving super sentai action?

Donnie

I was until you spilled greasy POPCORN ALL OVER ME!

Mikey

[takes a popcorn from Donnie's face and eats it] My bad.

Casey

How do you know these freaks?

April

These are the... other friends I told you about.

Casey

So they're NOT the bad guys?

April

No way! [sighs] Casey Jones, meet Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo...

Mikey

What up? [gets smacked by Raph]

April

...and the one and only Raphael.

Casey

So the Turtles are all... Italian?

Splinter

No. I named them after my favorite painters and sculptors of the Italian Renaissance.

Casey

[gasps, screams, and then faints in shock]

April

Casey? Casey, wake up! [shakes, then slaps his face; Casey wakes up] This is Master Splinter, Casey. He's cool.

Splinter

You do not have to fear me, my friend. Rest assured, I do not bite.

Casey

He's a giant, t-t-talking rat?!

Donnie

This...doesn't seem possible.

April

What is it? What’s wrong?

Donnie

Based on all the evidence I’ve clued from the lab, your cellular makeup is actually a morph-genetic blend of human and Kraang DNA.

April

Wait. Are you saying...?

Donnie

You're not entirely human, April. That's why you have psychic powers. In fact, you are a half human, half alien-mutant.

A mutant!?

Mikey

Oh, yeah! Welcome to the family!

Casey

[runs into the lair, panting] Guys! April! Sewers! Hurry!

Raph

Casey, what's wrong?

Leo

Are the Foot bots back?

Casey

W-we were on our way here, and next thing I know April starts acting freaked out, then runs off! She's gone!

Donnie

Wait, wait… You just lost April!?

Mikey

Relax! I'm sure there's a logical explanation. Like she was eaten by a giant sewer snake, or something.

Donnie

Let's go!

Leo

What is going on here?

Donnie

Fungus!

Mikey

Language, please! There's a lady present.

Donnie

April and Raph have been exposed to toxins found in certain types of fungi. The mushroom must produce it as some kind of defense mechanism.

Leo

Defense against what, being stir-fried?

Raph

[hallucinating them as giant cockroaches] I'm freaking out, I'm freaking out! I'M FREAKING OUT!

Mikey

It's okay, dude. It's me, Mikey. (approaches Raph for a hug) Give your bro a hug. It'll make you feel better. Come on now. Where's the love? (hugs) Awww! It's right here between my arms!

Raph

[sees Mikey] Mikey. Oh, I'm so glad to see you. What the heck's happening to us, man?! [Mikey says nothing] Uh, you okay? [Mikey's head pops off and out comes cockroaches] I'LL BURY YOU, COCKROACH!

Mikey

KEEP AWAY FROM ME! STAY BACK! I WON'T LET YOU TAKE MY BRAIN JUICE!

April

STOP FOLLOWING ME, DAD!

Donnie

NO, LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYMORE!

What's the matter, freak, scared?! Maybe I should put you out of your misery.

Splinter

You think you have the upper hand in a situation. You do not.

Mikey

Burn!

Raphael

How's that floor taste, Lame-o-nardo?

Splinter

It is not hard to sense loudmouths.

Splinter

This is difficult, but it is time you all knew the truth. The child I thought I had lost in the fire, Miwa is Karai - my daughter. Fury became flame, and flame darkened the world with smoke. And in that darkness, Shredder stole Miwa away. I thought she had perished, but she raised by Shredder as his daughter and trained as a deadly Foot assassin.

Don

Wait. This can't be.

Raph

Some kind of joke, right, sensei?

Mikey

Karai's our sister!?

Raph

Sensei, she's still our enemy. She was raised by Shredder.

Don

Yeah. How can ever trust her?

Splinter

There is good in her. I know this. But truth must be told, and it too will be an earthquake.

Leo

If we imagine our weapons are magical and all-powerful, we can defeat Leatherhead.

Mikey

Yes! That's the answer!

Raph

But that makes no sense!

Leo

Trust me. Believe! Focus! Use your imagination.

Mikey

Stockman-Fly is Turflytle's ultimate superhero enemy, buzz buzz. But if he's out there, buzz buzz, I'll find him, buzz bu-

Raph

Enough with the buzz buzz!

Mikey

[looks down] Okay.

Raph

Don't. [Mikey smirks at him] Don't.

Mikey

[puts his Turflytle antennas on Raph's head] Buzz buzz, dog! [runs off]

Raph

[aggravated] AAAAAAH! [chases Mikey]

Donnie

I've been trying to reach April for hours! Hope nothing's wrong.

Mikey

Something definitely is wrong, bro! There isn't a single pizza place in town that's pickin' up!

Donnie

I'm serious, Mikey!

Mikey

You think I'd joke about the pizza? You know me a little better than that, Donnie, to joke about the pizza!

Raph

Just go wait for the pizza guy, Mikey! And don't eat it!

Mikey

Fine! I'm going! [walks away]

Raph

I repeat: DO! NOT! EAT IT!!

Raph

We gotta move. Kraang Prime is stomping this way.

Mikey

Raph!

Raph

Awe. I missed you, too, little brother.

April

Casey! I was scared I'd lost you forever.

Casey

No worries, Red. Your man is here.

Donnie

Not to break this up, but Leo is still out there.

Raph

What!?

Mikey

Long story, Bro. Basically-

Raph

Leo!!

April

Oh, Leo.

Raph

He's still breathing.

Mikey

Dude, his shell is cracked.