Mikey quotes from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012)

Okay, he's strong, so speed and stealth are essential. Okay, everybody know the plan? [Raph and Donnie nod] Mikey?

Mikey

Yes.

Are you sure?

Mikey

Yes.

Tell me what it is.

Mikey

[thinks for a moment] Um, maybe we should go over it one more time?

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Don't worry. You're going to love this noodle place I found.

Don

[nervous] And you're sure we'll be welcome?

Oh, yeah, Mr. Murakami doesn't care what you look like. In fact, he won't even know what you look like. He's blind.

Mikey

Awesome! [Raph slaps him] I mean, for us, obviously.

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[acting] Here I am, walking around in the big city, all alone! Oh, I sure hope no crazy pigeon man sneaks up on me! That would be the last thing I'd want!

What are you doing?

You wanted me to be bait, I'm bait!

That's not how bait talks!

How do you know how bait talks?

I know bait doesn't talk back!

LRLeo, Raph and Mikey

Oooooooh!

Mikey

Oh, no, you didn't!

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Shredder

Your skills are impressive. But they will not save you.

Donatello

Oh, man. You think that's the Shredder?

Raphael

Well, it's definitely a Shredder.

Shredder

There is undoubtedly a fascinating story as to how my old nemesis came to teach ninjitsu to four mutant turtles. Perhaps I will let one of you live long enough to tell it.

Leonardo

You're gonna have to catch us first! Mikey!?

Mikey

So long, sucker!

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Splinter

You were all very lucky.

I think we define that word differently, Sensei.

Mikey

He was just so fast.

It was like he was everywhere at once.

You were right about us being overconfident, Sensei. There's just some things we're not ready for.

Splinter

Perhaps, but that no longer matters. It is clear now that the Shredder is a problem that will not go away. So prepare yourselves, my sons, because as of this moment... we are at war.

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Leonardo

Look, guys, Raph and I may be better fighters, but you´re still an important part of this team.

Donatello

[annoyed] As important as you two?

[Leo and Raph look at each other.]

Humm... Very important. We shouldn't compare ourselves. It's like apples and oranges.

Raphael

[Muttering] Yeah, if apples were way better, which they are.

Don

So, the truth comes out.

Michelangelo

You guys think of us as some kind of... B Team!

Good one, Dr. Namenstein. We'll call you "The B Team"!

Mikey

Thanks. I mean, hey!

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Leonardo

We are not taking that monster home with us!

Michelangelo

He's not a monster! He's a giant, Kraang-crushing, mutant alligator monster! [realizes what he just said] I just said "monster", didn't I?

RDRaphael, Donatello and Leonardo

Yeah.

Mikey

Well, you know what I meant!

I thought you meant "monster".

Donatello

Yeah.

Mm-hm.

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Mikey

Hey, guys! Leatherhead is totally off the chain.

You mean you set him free?!

Mikey

No, off the chain means he's cool. [his brothers sigh in relief] And that's why I set him free. [his brothers gasp]

[Leatherhead sits and smiles innocently as he holds the pot of soup]

You let that maniac loose?! Maybe you forgot that he grabbed me by the face. So I'll remind you: he grabbed me... BY THE FACE!!!

Relax. You've been hurt worse since.

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Mikey, poke him.

Mikey

No way! I'm not poking him! You poke him!

OK, we'll put it to a vote.

RDRaph, Donnie and Leo

Mikey!

Mikey

I want a re-count!

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And the award for worst leader goes to-

How am I the worst leader?

If we did this my way, Snakeweed would be toast by now!

Mikey

Ugh, that'd be some nasty toast.

This way would've worked if you hadn't wasted time second-guessing my orders!

Don't give bad orders, and I won't second-guess 'em!

You know what, Raph? If you think you could do better, why don't you lead?

First good idea you've had all day!

[Both growl at each other. Mikey cuts in.]

Mikey

We'll compromise. I'll lead.

[Raph and Leo give him death glares. Mikey smiles sheepishy and steps away.]

Fine, Raph, the team's yours. I'm out of here. [walks away]

Mikey

I can't believe he's gone.

Aw, don't worry, Mikey. Leo... just needs some space. [Mikey gives him an annoyed look] You meant the pizza guy, didn't you?

Mikey

Yeah.

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[to Mikey] You feel like we're missing something?

Mikey

All the time.

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Mikey

So...

Don

We're thinking somebody should start talking!

I should have told you about Karai sooner, but I really thought there was a chance she would be good. And I guess I... sort of liked her. Go ahead, laugh.

Mikey

Dude, I can't believe you trusted her.

I can't believe you didn't trust us enough to tell us.

I was wrong, I'm really sorry.

I tried to warn him.

You too, huh?