April O'Neil quotes from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987)

April

Not a chance, Shredder!

Shredder

As your wish.

As for you, April, I hope this has taught you a lesson.

April

It certainly has. I learned that a disguise is a great way to get a story. There's a convention of bald-headed diplomats in town next week. Maybe I could pass as one of them?

April

Well, what do you think?

Raphael

Paint that thing green and you could pass as one of us.

Vernon

This is the story of the century. And I caught it, all by myself.

April

[outraged] With my video camera.

Vernon

[smugly] Who cares? I'm Channel 6's new star reporter now.

Irma

[angry] Oooh, of all the lowdown, sneaky, backstabbing...

Michelangelo

Hey, don't sweat dudettes. The whole world's got his numero.

Donatello

Yeah. He'll be lucky to keep his own job.

Raphael

Yeah. Once it gets out that he totally blew the story of the century.

Vernon

[indignantly] Just what are you blabbering on about?

Raphael

Looks like you forgot to take the lens cap off, Mr "star reporter".

Vernon

[shocked and sinks to his knees] Oh. All that great footage....gone.

April

Yep. Along with any hopes you had of stealing my job.

Leonardo

It's so nice of you to look after us while we're sick, April. By the way, this soup is cold. Could you warm it up again?

Raphael

April, can I have a glass of water?

Donatello

Could you get me another blanket?

Michelangelo

Tell me a story.

April

Ah, for a bunch of heroes on the half shell, they can be real babies!

Raphael

Psst! Yo, April.

April

Turtles, what are you doing here?

Shredder

Hey, babe! What's going down in this here town?

April

[gasps] I don't believe it. That's Shred-

Leonardo

[covers April's mouth] Whatever you do, don't say his name. I'll explain later.

Tiffany

[camera clicks] Say, "cheese!"

Cheese!

Raphael

Say cheese, cheeseball.

April

Turtles. Oh, thank goodness you're here.

Raphael

Has your camera always acted like that?

April

It's like it suddenly had a mind of its own. And worse, my scooter drove off by itself.

Donatello

We'll deal with that later. Right now, we gotta find that dipstick in the hockey mask.

Raphael

I don't believe it! We finally got rid of Shredder.

April

And best of all, before he could get his evil hands on Channel 6's latest transmitting equipment.

Leonardo

Knowing him, he would've turned it into some powerful new weapon of destruction.

Michelangelo

Do you realize what this means, dudes?

Raphael

Yeah. Turtles retire with honour.

Leonardo

I can resume my studies of the martial arts.

Donatello

I can get back to my inventions.

Michelangelo

I can get back to making pizzas.

Raphael

I don't know about you, but this turtle can use a well-deserved vacation. You know, London. Paris. Borneo. Some real fun.

April

Oh, no. Raphael?

Mr. Thompson

Donatello?

Vernon

Leonardo?

Irma

Michelangelo?

April

Turtles, where are you?

Irma

[plays the guitar and sings "Drunk on You 2" by Luke Bryan]

April

What do you a favorite song?

Irma

Yes, April O'Neil?

Irma

[plays the guitar and sings "Old Boots, New Dirt 2" by Jason Aldean]

April

What do you a favorite song, Irma Langinstein?

Irma

Yea, April? I like is it song for that's that.

Irma

[plays the guitar and sings "Large Yellow Tractor"] Well nicely to song huh.

April

Forget it, Irma?

Irma

[plays the guitar and sings "The Polar Express" by The Polar Express]

April

Forget it, Irma?

Irma

[plays the guitar and sings "2009"]

April

What do you a favorite song, Irma?

Irma

Yes, April? I like it song.

Mr. Thompson

[Irma playing the guitar] Alright, enough for that. [guitar stops] That's quite enough for that. This notes is loses your patience.

Shredder

No!

Raphael

Where you think you're going?!

Leonardo

[Shredder grabs Irma, Rocksteady and Bebop grabs April] Let her two go, Shredder, or answer together!

Mr. Thompson

Drop both for her!