Survivor Series quotes

The tights on my behind are telling the tale

[on the Bushwhackers] A lot of bushwhacking going on here in the Rosemont Horizon.

What do you expect, Gorilla? It's Chicago. These guys are probably half normal in Chicago on Halsted Street.

And look at this, Neidhart's getting beat up in the corner already. This thing's going wild.

And look at The Anvil unloading on The Brain.

The bell hasn't even rung yet. And look at Andre...

We don't have all the team members out there yet!

Yeah, but the big man, Andre the Giant is gonna eliminate The Anvil before the bell even sounds.

I believe the referee has called for the bell. And there's the Warrior.

There's the bell. There's the bell.

Warrior with a clothesline. Warrior just... He's knocked Andre silly! The match is official, it's underway, and Andre's down and out. How are they gonna pick him up?

Well the problem is, the bell rang with Andre in the ring. Andre's gotta get back in the the ring before a ten-count. The referee's counted...

Andre the Giant has been counted out.

Andre's gone.

Wow! What a blow to The Heenan Family.

Did you see the look on Arn Anderson's face? He can't believe it.

As the chant goes out by this capacity crowd: "Weasel!" Listen to them, I told you they all know his name.

Yeah, and I know that you instigated it, Monsoon. You sit down and quit waving at 'em to start that up! Pay attention to your job instead of picking sides!

[as Haku tags Bobby Heenan] And here comes Heenan.

Yeah sure.

There you go.

Yeah, he wants in when somebody's in trouble. [Heenan kicks Marty Jannetty before getting punched in the gut and quickly tags Arn Anderson] Oh, did you see that?! Give me a break.

Hey he got in, did the damage, and got out.

Did what damage?

Kicked him in the guts.

Please.

Look at the Warrior just waiting for the right opportunity. Uh-oh... [Camera pans to Heenan looking terrified] Look at that look. That's worth a thousand words.

You're loving this ain't you, Monsoon?

I am.

You're just eating this up, aren't you?

I am.

The Warrior can beat up a manager.

You said he was a intricate part of this team. Now he can show me that he is.

The Ultimate Warrior has worked his way to the Grand Finale, Rod.

The idea here — how do you become a survivor? You need to be a leftover! It's Thanksgiving!

I need to say something and give credit where credit's due to Bret Hart. Bret Hart, just yesterday, losing his own brother, and he asked me to dedicate this match to Dean, his brother. There's a true competitor and a wonderful man. Kick some butt!

Like I've said a million times before, everybody's got a price for the Million Dollar Man. So without further ado, I will introduce to you now my mystery partner. Led to the ring by his manager Brother Love, weighing in at 320 pounds, from Death Valley, I give you THE UNDERTAKER!

The Undertaker, the mystery partner is now revealed.

I've never heard of him.

[seeing the Undertaker walking to the ring] Oh, take a look!

Holy cow! Look at the size of that hamhock! Check out them drumsticks, baby!

320 pounds, looks to be 6'9", 6'10", somewhere in that neighborhood, Rod.

6...6'10", I don't know, it's hard to tell from here. Holy cow.

Look at the look on the face.

I don't...you think it's his coffee? Doesn't look like he's having a good time. You think he'd steal the gold out of your teeth?

There's only supposed to be four members on a team; this guy makes four and a half, maybe five.

We don't wanna see quitters here, we wanna see real men! And real men wear kilts!

It's the first time I've been wrong since '54.

[on Jake Roberts] At this point, I hate to see the man get hurt. But there comes a point where you just maybe wanna see him get pinned so he don't get hurt anymore.

Well, you'll have to pin him 'cause he's not gonna quit, Hot Rod.

He's too much of a...

[as Jake hits a DDT on the Warlord] Oh, look at this! DDT!

YES!

He nailed the big guy!

YES!

[as Rick Martel sprays Arrogance at Jake, forcing him off the Warlord] Oh, look at Martel.

Did he get him?

No, Jake saw it coming, he turned his head, Hot Rod.

Alright.

But the referee didn't see any of that action.

[as Jake releases Damian from his bag] He's got a partner! He found a partner!

Can you blame him?

Not at all!

Look at Martel, scared to death! And Jake right on his tail! Hobbling, limping, but still going after him!

Martel, you coward, you did the least in there!

Referee's counting. Warlord, of course, the legal man in the ring, and Jake the Snake. [Chioda finishes the count and calls for the bell] Oh, he's out. I don't think he was worried about being counted out, Hot Rod. He wanted a piece of Martel.

Ladies and gentlemen, Jake "The Snake" Roberts has been counted out. Therefore, the winning survivors are the entire team of the Visionaries!

Oh, the entire team of the Visionaries have made it to the Grand Finale.

Including...

Including the Model, of course. The whole team, the first time in the history of the Survivor Series that an entire team has made it.

Martel would be there, but right now, he's running down Main Street Hartford.

With all the excitement, I almost forgot about that humongous egg that's gonna hatch here.

The last time I saw an egg that size when Milli Vanilli laid it.

The Russians give us Nikolai Volkoff, we give the Russians MTV and 2 Live Crew. There's a fair exchange, huh?

I wanted to point out to you and your cohorts that the Survivor Series is being shown around the world to our armed forces. They are gonna be seeing you in action here tonight against the Alliance, and especially those great guys and gals who are serving our country proudly in the Persian Gulf, and by the way, they find you and your commanding officer despicable.

Despicable?!

Yes! Despicable.

Stand at attention, you puke. Shut that hole and listen up! And all you maggots out there, listen up! Despicable is saluting the red, white & blue! I, Sgt. Slaughter, salute one flag, and that flag is the banner of that brave Iraqi nation!

You've gotta be kidding me!

You know what, pukeface? Today, my Mercenaries and I sat down to a beautiful, hot, delicious turkey dinner with all the trimmings, and we didn't have to worry about swatting any desert flies away from the table; and we didn't have the smell of camel dung in the air when we chewed our food and swallowed it; but best of all, we didn't have any sand in our pumpkin pie! What did all of you American gung-ho soldiers out there in Saudi Arabia have in your K-ration can today? Hot turkey sandwich?!

You call yourself an American? You've got to be kidding.

President Bush, take some advice from Sgt. Slaughter before you send your troops into battle against President Saddam Hussein: Always think twice because the Iraqi Army soldier is just like the Mercenaries and Sgt. Slaughter — we take no prisoners and we are survivors, and THAT'S AN ORDER! You're dismissed.

What a despicable piece of garbage.

You pig! You pig! You know why he got kicked out of the service? For saying "Shazam!" too much.

If these boys don't finish them off, I'm grabbing his butt, I'll take him over to the Persian Gulf and let our troops have a go at him! Let's see what kind of drill sergeant he is! You're nothing but a pig, you hang around with pigs, and you ain't got enough guts to eat a can of K-rations! I would rather eat K rations that eat turkey with you, you pig!