Crowley quotes from Supernatural

Crowley

What's in that bottle? Delusion?

Crowley

You betrayed me? No one in the history of torture’s been tortured with torture like the torture you’ll be tortured with.

Crowley

Please. No one bends the rules like you two bend the rules. He's one misfit kid. He impacts no one.

Crowley

Love, if I wanted a soapy massage from Dr. Phil, I would have hit 3 on the speed dial, all right?

Crowley

Your brother, bless his soul, is summoning me as I speak. Make a deal, bring you back. It's exactly what I was talking about, isn't it? It's all become so... expected. You have to believe me. When I suggested you take on the Mark of Cain, I didn't know this was going to happen. Not really. I mean, I might not have told you the entire truth. But I never lied. I never lied, Dean. That's important. It's fundamental. But...there is one story about Cain that I might have... forgotten to tell you. Apparently, he, too, was willing to accept death, rather than becoming the killer the Mark wanted him to be. So he took his own life with the Blade. He died. Except, as rumor has it, the Mark never quite let go. You can understand why I never spoke of this. Why set hearts aflutter at mere speculation? It wasn't until you summoned me... No, it wasn't truly until you left that cheeseburger uneaten...that I began to let myself believe. Maybe miracles do come true.

Crowley

Listen to me, Dean Winchester, what you're feeling right now... it's not death. It's life... a new kind of life. Open your eyes, Dean. See what I see. Feel what I feel. Let's go take a howl at that moon.

Crowley

Why can't you people just sit on clouds and play harps like you're supposed to?

Crowley

You, Moose, you’re the sane one. You on board with this?!

Crowley

You want me to procure the most dangerous weapon on the planet for Dean Winchester, the man who goes mental every time he touches it? I thought you wanted to go for a beer, catch a film.

Crowley

You’re right. I am a monster. And I’ve done bad. I’ve done things you cannot even imagine. Horrible, evil, messy things. And I’ve loved every. Damn. Minute.

Crowley

Oh, Dean. Adorable little Dean. I want that child, and I get what I want. You and Sam don't understand. I'm not your bloody sidekick! We've had some good times. So I'm gonna give you one chance, just one, to walk out that door, or I'm gonna take you apart atom by atom.

Crowley

You have tremendous power and soon you'll have even more. But I have something you lack: wisdom. Experience. I helped put Lucifer back in his cage. I rose through the ranks of Hell, defeated all comers, to claim the throne. And, a few minor setbacks aside, I'm still here. I don't know how to impart what I've learned to you, how to teach you. And at the rate that you're growing, I'll probably never get the chance to figure it out. Perhaps you don't need my tutelage. But I believe, deep down in my gut, I have something to offer you if you'd just give me the chance.

Crowley

Do you know how disturbing it was to realize that I couldn't bring myself to kill you? I've had tons of chances over the years, some you don't even know about. But still, I made my peace with it, embraced my softer side, learned to accept that there was just too much going on between you and I. Bromance. But you know what? I think I am gonna kill you today. I feel different somehow. Ready. What can I say? Fatherhood changes a man.

Dean

Oh, uh, excuse me for asking, but aren't you kind of signing your own death warrant? I mean, what happens to you if we go up against the devil and lose?

Crowley

Number one, he's going to wipe us all out anyway. Two, after you leave here, I go on an extended vacation to all points nowhere. And three, how about you don't miss, okay! Morons!

Sam

You want to talk? After what you did to us?

Crowley

After what... what I did to you? I gave you the Colt!

Sam

Yeah, and you knew it wouldn't work against the Devil!

Crowley

I never!

Sam

You set us up. We lost people on that suicide run, good people!

Brady

What did you do?

Crowley

Went over to a demon's nest, had a little massacre. Must be losing my touch, though. Let one of the little toads live. Oops! Also might have given said toad the impression that you left your post last night because you and I are... wait for it... Lovers in League Against Satan. Hello darling. So now death is off the table. Now you get to be on the boss's eternal torment list with little old me.

Brady

Oh no, no, no, no. No!

Crowley

Something else we have in common, apart from our torrid passion, of course: craven self-preservation.