You think Jesse's gonna be OK?
SamI hope so.
You know we destroyed that kid's life by telling him the truth.
Sam
We didn't have a choice, Dean.
Yeah. You know I'm starting to get why parents lie to their kids. You want them to believe that the worst thing out there is to mixing poprocks and coke. Protect them from the real evil. You want them going to bed feeling safe. If that means lying to them, so be it. More I think about it... more I wish dad had lied to us.
Sam
Yeah, me too.
So you were just gonna shoot some old guy, is that it?
Sam
I didn't know what you were. I mean have you seen you? You look like-
The old chick in Titanic. I know, shut up.
Sam
I was gonna say Emperor Palpatine.
[Bobby enters the room on his wheelchair, looking like his normal self]
I see you met John McCain there.
Sam
Yeah... either of you wanna tell me what happened?
Bobby's an idiot, that's what.
Hey, nobody asked you to play.
You're right, I should've just let you die.
And for damn sure, nobody asked you to lose!
Sam
[amused] It's like Grumpy Old Men.
DBDean and Bobby
SHUT UP, SAM.
PPatrick
I'm sorry kid. Aces full.
Sam
[to Lia] You're crying. For a witch, you're so nice it's actually kinda creepy. It's okay. [to Patrick] It was a great hand. Just... not as great as... [Sam lays his hand down, revealing two fours, matching the two fours in the table hand] as four fours.
PPatrick
Well played. You know, that whole... 'going out of your head' bit, very method. There's more to you than meets the eye. [raises his glass]
Sam
Cash these in for Dean. Please.
[The episode opens in the form of a sitcom]
[Narrating] Supernatural is filmed before a live studio audience.
[Closes his fridge and looks at a cartoonishly big sandwich] I'm gonna need a bigger mouth.
AAudience
[Laughs, then cheers as Sam walks through the door]
Hey there Sam. What's happening?
Sam
Oh nothing, um, just the end of the world. [Audience laughs. Sam looks at the sandwich] You're gonna need a bigger mouth. Hey, uh, have you done your research yet?
Oh yeah, All kinds of research. All night.
Sam
Yeah?
AAudience
[lets loose wolf whistles and catcalls as a bikini clad woman exits the bathroom]
WWoman
Oh, Dean. We have some more "research" to do.[More laughter]
Sam
[thoroughly exasperated] Dean...
[Extreme close-up] Son of a bitch! [More laughter and cheers]
[A cheesy opening credits sequence ensues, complete with Sam and Dean riding on a tandem bicycle and mopeds , playing pass football in a park, and hunting ghosts in a very comic fashion]
Sam
He means the books, Chuck. Why are you publishing more books?
Um... for food and shelter.
Who gave you the rights to our life story?
An Archangel, and I didn't want it.
No, I am not a fan, okay. Not fans. In fact, I think that the Dean and Sam story sucks. It is not fun, it's not entertaining. It is a river of crap that would send most people howling to the nuthouse! So you listen to me. Their pain is not for your amusement. I mean, do you think they they enjoy being treated like-like circus freaks?
DDemian
Ahh, I don't think they care. Because they're fictional characters.
Oh, they care. Believe me, they care a lot! [storms off]
Sam
He, uh... He takes the story really seriously.
I know what you must think of me, Sam. But I have to do this. I have to. You of all people should understand.
Sam
What's that supposed to mean?
I was a son. A brother, like you, a younger brother, and I had an older brother who I love. Idolized, in fact. And one day I went to him and I begged him to stand with me, and Michael... Michael turned on me. Called me a freak. A monster. And then he beat me down. All because I was different. Because I had a mind of my own. Tell me something, Sam. Any of this sound familiar? Anyway. You'll have to excuse me, midnight is calling and I have a ritual to finish. Don't go anywhere. Not that you could if you would.
You were referred to me by a Dr. Babar in Chicago.
Isn't there a children's book about an elephant named Babar?
I don't know. I don't have any elephant books. Look doctor, I-I think the doc was in over his head with this one [points at Sam]. Cause my brother's, uh... [whistles and makes circles with his finger].
Okay fine, thank you, that's, that's really not necessary. Why don't you tell me how you're feeling, Alex?
Sam
[sighs] I'm fine. I mean, okay, a little depressed, I guess.
Sam
Probably because I started the apocalypse.
Sam
Yeah. That's right.
And you think you started it?
Sam
Well yeah. I mean, I killed this demon – Lilith – and I accidentally freed Lucifer from Hell. So now he's topside, and we're trying to stop him.
Sam
Me. Him. And, uh, this one angel.
Oh, you mean like a, like an angel on your shoulder.
Sam
No no. His name's Castiel. He wears a trench coat.
See what I mean, doc? I mean the kid's been beating himself up about this for months! The apocalypse wasn't his fault.
No. There was this other demon, Ruby? She had him addicted to demon blood, I mean, near the end he was practically chugging the stuff. My brother's not evil. He was just... high. Y'know, so, could you fix him up so we could get back to traveling around the country and hunting monsters?
[smiles weakly, then picks up his phone]. Urma? Cancel my lunch.
Monsters are the least of your problems. People can learn to live with delusions, but the anger I saw in you... you hurt those two men, and you were going to kill me. The look in your eyes when you came after me, I... it was like you were barely even human. Like a man possessed.
Sam
I know. Please... just... could you give me a second chance?
Well, this isn't a prison. You'll be allowed to go to the day room, under supervision.
Sam
Thank you.
But if there is one more outburst, I will transfer you to a facility that is equipped to handle violent patients, and believe me, they will be far, far less forgiving.
Sam
The wraith-
Sam
She was right.
No, she wasn't. She's dead, okay? Let's hit the road. I need a drink, or twelve.
Sam
Most of the time I can hide it, but I am angry. I'm mad at everything. I used to be mad at you and dad, then Lilith, now it's Lucifer. And I make excuses: I blame Ruby, or the demon blood, but it's not their fault, it's not them, it's me. It's inside me. I'm mad all the time, and I don't know why.
Stop. Stop it. So what if you are? What are you gonna do here, take a leave of absence? You gonna say yes to Lucifer? What?
Sam
No, of course not.
Exactly. And that's exactly what you're going to do: you're going to take all that crap, and you're gonna bury it. You're gonna forget about it, because that's how we keep going.
Supernatural · 1,470 quotes
