It was a good job while it lasted.
SueI’m sure your friend in Wisconsin will be glad to have his identity back.
I have a bone to pick with you, Mister. Seems you’ve been cheating on me. With one of my own friends, no less.
Sue
You talked to Janice.
So, any chance we can work this out? Or do I have to file for divorce?
[Tara pretends to get teary.]
Okay, now that you’ve had your fun is there any chance we can keep this on the down low?
What? Keep the tabloid story of the century off the airwaves? Actually, we have a nice little office pool going. I say Sparky and Tara will weather the storm and stay together.
Yeah, but the smart money’s on Sue, the home wrecker, landing her man.
What did I miss? What are you guys talking about?
Jack and Sue making out in the dragon lady’s office at Callahan and Merced.
We weren’t… we… we weren’t making out.
You want to go under oath and say that? We have a reliable witness.
Sue
It was part of the undercover.
[Jack and Sue look to each other.]
[He leaves.]
You can’t get away with this that easily, two-timer! I want justice!
I want to hear every detail.
[Sue leaves without answering.]
[Sue and Lucy have discovered Howie in their apartment in the middle of the night.]
Sue
Did he just say what I think he said?
He said somebody wants to kill him, and I presume he means somebody besides us.
I thought we'd never get out of there. Anita says she has to chew every bite at least 50 times to aid in her digestion. Who even knew you could digest eggplant spirulina casserole?
Sue
Who knew you'd ever want to? [Lucy chuckles] If she's going to stay longer, maybe you should at least get your bedroom back.
Oh, it's okay. I'm so tired I could sleep on a bed of nails. I'll be fine. But why are you still up?
Sue
I was going to take a shower before bed, but I made the mistake of not getting started before you got home.
[Lucy glances toward the bathroom and sighes]
I know. She's been in there longer than some third-world regimes stay in power. With any luck we'll have hot water again by next week.
I've never heard of half the stuff on Anita's special shopping list. Free-range egg white extract?
Sue
Probably on the shelf right next to wheat-free soy lasagna.
Ah, the good host syndrome. Open your door to a wayward traveler, and before you know it, you're at their mercy. Your routines disrupted, your cupboards emptied, the sanctity of your castle hopelessly compromised.
What do you recommend, Sir Myles? Toss them out in the street?
No, I recommend a drawbridge and a moat. Never let them breach the gates in the first place.
I follow the three day law. They stay longer than that, I throw their gear on the porch, change the locks, turn on the sprinklers.
I wonder what would happen if they took the best parts of all of us and made one super cyber F.B.I. agent? We'd start with my looks, of course.
My brain. Sue's heart. Sorry, Myles.
Sue
Lucy's smile. Jack's eyes.
[Sue's and Jack's eyes both widen as they realize what she said.]
Sue
[confusedly] Did I mention Lucy's smile?
[Jack and Sue are together at a restaurant watching Tara on her 'date' with a witness.]
First it was Hannah and Randy, and now it's Tara and Horace. We've got to stop dating like this.
Sue
Did you say dating?
[flustered] No, I said meeting. We've got to stop meeting like this.
Sue
I think you said dating.
Where's our waitress? Maybe we should order now.
[Lucy and Sue are talking about Sue moving to New York. Lucy is crying a bit]
Do you remember when we first met, when I was still dating Myles?
Sue
Oh, now I know why you're crying?
Sue Thomas: F.B.Eye · 60 quotes
