Myles quotes from Sue Thomas: F.B.Eye

Myles

I'm Einstein with a gun. Boston born, Harvard educated, S.W.A.T. trained Myles Leland... III. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a country to save.

Myles

A martyr who's taking medication so he can live long enough to kill himself, how sick is that.

Myles

Nothing like a double homicide to bring the family together.

Myles

Has anyone seen my Kevlar-- [spots Howie] If you don't have that off by the time I count to three, I promise you will have need of it by the time I get to four.

Sue

I've seen that face before.

Jack

And that round little belly. I hear it shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly.

Tara

My intelligence sources say he works with a group of reindeer--the gang of eight.

Dimitrius

Yeah, and their leader's a young buck, Rudolph, code name Red-Nose.

Bobby

There's two things you don't mess with: Elvis and Santa.

Myles

All right, this is serious. We are talking about armed bank robbery here.

Jack

All right, Myles is right.

Dimitrius

Oh, bah, humbug.

Jack

We promise we won't make fun of Santa anymore.

Sue

Because if we did, we might get coal in our stockings.

Sue

Sorry, it just slipped out.

Bobby

Oh, Merry Christmas, Ebenezer!

She has an agenda, and it doesn't match ours. So walk softly and carry a big 'no comment'.

Bobby

No worries.

Bobby

I can take care of her, boys. It's the accent. Gets 'em every time.

Myles

She's gonna put him on a barbie and have him for lunch.

Jack

Yeah.

Jack

Myles, if you were anyone else, I would kiss you right now.

Myles

If you were anyone else, I might let you.

Jack

Somebody give Myles a kiss. I think he found our needle.

Dimitrius

Levi?

Myles

[holds up hands] It's okay.

Myles

Hey, who's putting half-eaten donuts back in the box?

Bobby

That isn't half-eaten. I ate the other half, which made that half completely eaten. That half isn't eaten at all, making it wholly uneaten.

Don't fill up on pizza. Bobby's cooking. He's been working on a wonderful recipe for Rock Cornish Hen.

Jack

[incredulously] Bobby's what?

Myles

[Quietly, to Lucy] This is the man who told me he wanted to move the stove out of the kitchen to make room for a pinball machine.

Lucy

How do you do it?

Sue

How do I do what?

Lucy

You look so refreshed! You were here when I left last night for thirty minutes of tossing and turning on an incredibly uncomfortable Bureau-issued cot. When I got back you were still here.

Myles

Well, the noise doesn't bother her so she probably takes catnaps.

Lucy

Myles! That is the most-!

Myles

Oh, save it. [He leaves]

Sue

It's true, I do take catnaps. But I tell Levi they're "dognaps". Right, Levi?

Bobby

How's it goin'?

Myles

When they were handing out the "evil gene" this guy must've been fighting to get to the front of the line up.

Myles

Hakim flipped on Abdul, Abdul flipped on Hakim, and Khayyat flipped on everyone, including himself.

Bobby

Everybody's singin'! It's like an opera.

Dimitrius

Music to my ears.

Myles

If I had known this was going to be a formal crime scene I would have dressed for the occasion.

Dimitrius

You wouldn't have looked like that.

Myles

We will hunt him down. We will not rest until this--this vile creature, this destroyer of all that is beautiful and good is brought to justice.

Jack

We're looking for an art forger, Myles, not Hannibal Lector.

Myles

Only a few gradations of separation on the slimy scale of criminality.

Lucy

And here are the newlyweds now.

Tara

Ah, to be young, and in love.

Jack

I'm always amazed at how quick word travels in this building...

Dimitrius

It's the FBI, the walls have ears.

Bobby

Speaking of ears, hear that clanging, Sparky? That's the sound of your ball and chain. [Winks at Sue]

Dimitrius

Hey, Sue, the boys are going out for a beer after work. Can Jack come?

Sue

As long as he's home in time to mow the lawn.

Myles

What happened?

Tara

You missed it. Jack and Sue got married.

Myles

I went out for a tuna sandwich, how long was I gone?