[Steven warps to the desert where Garnet, Pearl and Amethyst start brawling another giant marble robot]
Stop—coming—here, you—stupid—balls!!
AmethystYeah, let it out! Get crazy!! Whoa!
Guys, guys, guys! [flailing his arms] Stop!! How many more of these things are you gonna have to fight?!
We don't know! They just keep coming and coming, and we don't even know what they are! We don't know anything!!
[beat] That's okay. I don't know anything all the time. It's like my whole life. But I have you guys to tell me about tell me about Gem stuff, Connie can explain what Familiars are, and Dad tells me weird dad stuff.
But nobody knows what these things are here to do.
Well... it probably does.
We could follow it and see where it goes.
Amethyst
ARE YOU NUTS!?!
Who knows what could go wrong?!
We can't keep fighting these things forever. Well, we can, but I don't want to. Let's do it Steven's way.
Yeah! [sings] Let's follow the funky flow!
Amethyst
[beat] ..We're dead.
Now accounting for all operational injectors. Checking for aberrations in perimeter. Ugh, this Gem tech is simply archaic.
I don't know... I think it looks pretty cool. [Peridot abruptly cancels out all the operations and turns her screen at him] Hi! I'm Steven. [Peridot's screen swoops up close at him]
There appears to be an infestation of Stevens in the Kindergarten.
Aw, I'm not so bad once you get to know me.
And how many more Stevens are present in this area?
Ah, that's a relief. So tell me—have Stevens replaced humans as the dominant species on Earth?
Oh, no! There's lots of humans! There's my dad, Connie, Lars and Sadie, the mailman, Onion... I think—lots of people!
Now I get to ask a question. What are you doing?
"Hm, just picking up where we left off."
[one of the giant hand constructs hovers above Steven, forms a fist and plummets down at him before Garnet catches and throws it away]
"A Gem?!" [Amethyst and Pearl jump up] "Ah! More?! But the Red Eye didn't report the presence of any Gems on this planet!"
That's because we destroyed it!
"You what?! But the records say that Gems were wiped out on Earth! Wait a minute... [turns resilient] You were the ones that have been destroying my plug robonoids! Are you the reason the Homeworld warp is down again? [shows crying waffle sticker] This is your bizarre icon?! Uhrooh!! Why do you keep destroying my things!?!"
Because we are the Crystal Gems! We're still alive and we're still the guardians of this planet and all its living creatures!!
"..The Crystal Gems?" [the Gems charge and attack the giant hands] "Stop! How dare you! I'm doing this one way or another! You're just... making it... really... difficult!!"
Amethyst! Now! [Amethyst latches the hand in mid-air]
Amethyst
DESTROY!!! [swings hand and crashes into the power source]
I don't understand. That thing has laid dormant since we found it.
I haven't heard a Wailing Stone activate since we used them for the rebellion, and I've never heard it sound like that!
Someone is trying to send us a message.
But who?! We've rounded up all the Wailing Stones on Earth, and we're not sending this message to ourselves! Unless... Amethyst, is this a prank?!
Amethyst
No way! I want it to stop!! I DON'T LIKE IT!!
If it's not coming from Earth, then a Gem must be sending this message from space.
Is that... what some Gems sound like?
No, no. We should be hearing a voice. Maybe this signal is too advanced for the Wailing Stone to process. That would explain the distorted audio.
..Audio? My daddy-o knows audio!
Amethyst
Uhh, you mean Greg?
Don't whine. Let's try it.
[appears as a visualization on video] Steven!
I can't believe my flipping eyes!
I hope you're able to hear this. There's a Gem that's looking for you. She even knew your name! I don't know how... I didn't tell her, I swear! She's on her way to Earth... and she's not alone! Steven, Homeworld... it's not the way it used to be. Everything here is so advanced! I can't even understand it. There's no way anything on Earth can stand up to it. Please, don't put up a fight. It'll only lead to devastation!
[Video suddenly cuts to static; The group pauses for a beat]
[worried] It's Peridot. She must be talking about Peridot.
Amethyst
She's coming for us!
Lapis... she sounds so unhappy.
Amethyst
Aw, come on!
No whining. We need to start cleaning up the debris.
Garnet's right. People are already coming back into town!
We've got to keep them off the beach. If any humans got access to Gem technology, [shuts blinds] they could really hurt themselves. Maybe we should shut them out... for good.
You know... we did once have a fence. Let's get a new one—with barbed wire!
Amethyst
This time, let's build a moat. I could be... [shapeshifts her head] the crocodi-i-ile!! Jazz hands!
Amethyst
Why not?
You always say you'll be the crocodile, but you never commit!
Steven needs to see his father and his friends.
No, I don't! I can't keep clinging to the vestiges of my humanity. It's time I got serious. [his phone starts ring-toning again] Errh!
Steven, why is your communication device playing that song?
It's Connie, trying to call me... but I can't face her anymore.
So... you're just going to ignore her forever?
It's the responsible thing to do.
Amethyst
[sees thru blinds] It's gonna be hard, 'cause she's coming up the steps right now.
Amethyst
Steven!
What's going on?! Who is this stranger?
He's not a stranger, he's Uncle Grandpa!
[Uncle Grandpa honks his nose]
Amethyst
Uncle… Grandpa?
So that would make him Greg's brother… and father?
That would explain a lot.
BBBelly Bag
That's right! He's not just your Uncle Grandpa, Steven. He's everyone in the world's Uncle Grandpa! And when he comes to town, you're sure to have a fun time.
[All their heads circle around the Earth in space]
[laughing] We're in space!
[huddling up with Pearl and Amethyst] Gem huddle!
Obviously, we're dealing with some sort of super powerful, reality-warping entity.
He could be a danger to the fabric of space itself.
Amethyst
I don't know, guys. I kinda like him.
[huddling in] Hey! What are you guys talking about?
[also huddling in] Are you forming a secret club? [a clone of himself appears] Can we join too?
[The Gems run frantically across the plot hole many times, stop for a breather]
There's got to be some way out of here.
[extremely panicked] WE'LL NEVER ESCAPE!! THIS IS OUR NEW HOME!
Pearl you're overreacting.
I'M NOT OVERREACTING! [runs around screaming crazily until she crashes into Amethyst]
Amethyst
Hey, where's Steven? [Pizza Steve walks in dressed like Steven]
PSPizza Steve
Lookin' for me, Pizza Steven Universe? [Pearl gasps, cowers behind Garnet]
Amethyst
Ah, nice! [eyes on Pizza Steve]
PSPizza Steve
Whoa, hold on!
Amethyst
Pizza!! [chases Pizza Steve offscreen]
PSPizza Steve
Don't eat Pizza Steve! [munching noises]
[Amethyst walks back on, putting on Pizza Steve's sunglasses from out of her mouth]
Okay, I'm ready for this episode to end. [stomps her foot on the ground, causing the plot hole to crack and shatter, leaving them back at the beach]
[They see Steven, Uncle Grandpa, Lion, and Giant Realistic Flying Tiger having a tea party]
[sighs] I'm sorry I couldn't help you learn to use your shield, Steven.
It's okay, Uncle Grandpa. I had a lotta fun today.
[Amethyst hisses and growls]
Hey, cut it out, guys. He's done enough already.
GGems
[diving towards Uncle Grandpa while beating him up] FINISH HIM!!!
[rushing in as a chibi] No, don't hurt him! [lets out a small fart; in slow-motion] STOP!!!!!! [his gem begins to glow and halts the Gems, in shock and surprise, with his shield] Whoa! [turns to Uncle Grandpa] I did it, Uncle Grandpa! I really did it!
Protecting him activated Steven's powers?!
He must really care about this stranger.
Amethyst
I hope he didn't care about that pizza.
Listen! It was a big, weird surprise when Uncle Grandpa showed up here today. We've never met anyone like Uncle Grandpa, but you can't just attack people you don't understand. You have to stick up for them, and listen to what they have to say. You guys always do that for me.
[blushing with tears in her eyes, feeling guilty and sorry] Steven, you're right. [cries emotionally] HOW CAN I BE SO BLIND?! I'M SORRY!
Amethyst
I also apologize for Pearl.
Thank you, you taught us a valuable lesson, Uncle Grandpa.
[Steven rushes to the Beach House]
Amethyst
Whoa, where's the fire?
It's an emergency! You have to help me take down all the shirts and stop Buck from making more!
Have the shirts come to life and and possessed the bodies of their wearers?!
Amethyst
Are people catching on fire when they put on the magic shirts?
Are the shirts destroying the wearer's will to continue on in this mortal coil, thereby shutting down Beach City!?!
NOOOOO!!! They're— they're just... using my art in a way I don't agree with.
What?! But— but I really need your help!
Steven, this sounds like a very abstract problem.
Amethyst
It's not something we can punch!
You must learn to help yourself. That's how you become stronger. [shades sparkle]
APAmethyst/Pearl
Good point, good point. / Oh, absolutely.
Amethyst
You figure something out, Steven!
Yes! Why not dust off those conflict resolution skills?
Let your problem be known, then you can work towards an understanding.
Oh... I'll make them understand. I'll make them all understand... [leaves]
Amethyst
Eh, he'll be fine.
This is not a good choice for your form.
Amethyst
Lighten up, Garnet. Can't you take a joke?
It's not funny. You've made yourself ridiculous.
Amethyst
RIDICULOUS?!?!
Keep your voice down! The creature...
Amethyst
Hrrr... You wanted me to be more like Pearl, and now I am!!
[low voice] Pearl would've taken her regeneration seriously!
Amethyst
WHAT DO YOU CARE!?! MY FORM IS MY BUSINESS!!
It's my business when it affects the strength of the team!!
Amethyst
..So what?! I'm not strong enough?! [gets dragged by the Slinker]
Amethyst
ARE YOU SAYING... I'M WEAK?!?! [poofs again; Steven catches her gemstone]
Is it weird I'm getting numbed to this?
Amethyst
[belly laughs] Wow, Garnet! That is the funniest thing I've ever heard!
Garnet, master of comedy.
Amethyst
Hehehe... Yo, Steven. [pretend-yells] WHY ARE YOU STANDING THERE ALL SAD LIKE THAT?!?!
W-well... Connie is taking sword fighting lessons from Pearl, but I think it's getting a little too serious. She wants Connie to do all this dangerous stuff for me.
Back during the war, Pearl took pride in risking her destruction for your mother. She put Rose Quartz over everything — over logic, over consequence, over her own life.
[Pearl and Rose switch to Connie and Steven, respectively. She charges at the enemy before cutting to Steven's horrified face]
Amethyst
You okay, dude?
I have to do something!! Thanks for telling me that, bye!!
Garnet, you don't think Peridot would come looking for us, do you?
We weren't her priority. She was sent here to do something in the Kindergarten.
Do you think she's still going to try to reactivate it?
Mm. If she gets it back up and running, the Injectors will turn back on.
Injectors? What're those?
You've already seen them. [projects hologram from her gemstone] Well, you've seen them disabled. If Peridot reactivates them, they'll pick right up where they left off, planting gems in the crust of the Earth, where they'll incubate and suck the life right out of the ground. We can't let Peridot restart Gem production here. If we do... [sighs] the entire planet will become…
Amethyst
Garnet! [laughs] That mouth! [sniggers]
Don't worry. We'll stop her.
Steven Universe · 493 quotes
