Dr. Jackson quotes from Stargate Atlantis

...And we'll need the Zed-P-M.

What?

JDr. Jackson

The ZPM. He's...he's Canadian.

(at McKay) I'm sorry.

The Zero Point Module, General. The ancient power source you recovered from Proclarush Taonas and that's now powering the outpost defenses. I've since determined it generates its enormous power from vacuum energy derived from a self-contained region of subspace time.

That was a waste of a perfectly good explanation.

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[O'Neill and Jackson watch the Atlantis team depart]

JDr. Jackson

Jack, it's not too late for me to—

No.

JDr. Jackson

I-I-I could just grab my—

No.

JDr. Jackson

[quietly] —kay...

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[concerning the suspected hidden entrance in the passageway]

DJDr. Daniel Jackson

Well it's remote, that's promising. He wouldn't want anyone around when coming in and out of his lab.

Oooh, like the Batcave!

JDr. Jackson

Yes... just like the Batcave.

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Controlled magnetic harmonic resonance.

JDr. Jackson

What?

Apparently Tesla was close to something like this before Edison trashed his lab.

JDr. Jackson

What are you talking about?

That wall was specially designed to destabilize when bombarded with a very specific harmonic resonance. That's what the tones were. And the strong magnetic property of the particles is what keeps the door from just crumbling into dust. It's a great way to hide a door, because you know, if you're looking for a door to open it's never going to be found. It's like a hologram, only better because it's solid mass until the tones are playing.

JDr. Jackson

Right, so you could've just told me to walk through the door when you did it.

I could have, yes.

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[after touching the holding cell's laser grid]

Ow!

JDr. Jackson

Oh yeah I tried that they uh, zap you when you touch them.

You could've told me that before I touched it!

JDr. Jackson

I could have, yes.

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JJackson

Is everything a competition with you?

I'm not sure what you're talking about.

JJackson

I just found you a secret lab full of really cool Ancient stuff. I kind of think that should score me some points here.

OK, I admint I might have been a bit of brusque with you up until now.

JJackson

Just a little...

But the truth is, I really didn't think you're gonna find anything.

JJackson

Well, that much I actually understand.

You do?

JJackson

Yeah. I... spent the majority of my professional life being ridiculed for my theories - most of which turned out to be correct, by the way - I'm kinda used to it, Rodney.

Wasn't that bothering you? That there's no indication or recognition of credit?

JJackson

No, I could say the same thing about you. The discoveries you've made yet probably could've won the Nobel prize five times over by now.

That's too true. So, guess none of us signed up to be famous, huh?

JJackson

No, we did it for the money!

Hehehe, good one! Heh heh... [resumes working then pauses again] You mean, you don't get paid more than I do, do you? [Jackson sighs] Do you?!

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[when trapped in the outpost]

(...) I think I figured a way out of here!

JDr. Jackson

Really ?

This is an Ancient facility, and Rodney McKay knows a thing or two about Ancient facilities.

JDr. Jackson

You know it has been clinically proven that referring to yourself in the third person is a sign of mental instability.

Mentally unstable like a fox.

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[McKay and Jackson have escaped from the room where they were being held and are searching the facility.]

Okay, we need to get to the device control room.

JDr. Jackson

It'll be crawling with soldiers...

Oh, well then we'll need to create a diversion.

JDr. Jackson

I'm awares.

Okay, ahh...We'll go to the power relay station, we'll create a massive explosion.

JDr. Jackson

And I never got how that made a good diversion.

[stops walking] What?

JDr. Jackson

You want to clear the device control room of bad guys, right?

Yes!

JDr. Jackson

Sooo...why would you assume if there was a massive explosion people would go running towards it?

Well, I would.

JDr. Jackson

I rest my case! [walks past McKay]

[catches up] Oh, I'm sorry, you know, I'm a good person, I would want to save people from a fire; maybe figure out what's going on?

JDr. Jackson

I, au contraire, would order more guards to protect the one room I thought whoever's blowing things up probably wants to get to!

[stops for a second before running to catch up with Jackson again] Explosion diversion is the very cornerstone of diversions!

JDr. Jackson

You don't have any better ideas.

I don't have any better ideas, yes.

[They open a door, revealing two Asgard suits]

[panicking and grovelling] Oh my God, please don't kill me, you need me.

JDr. Jackson

Rodney?

Us, us. You need us. Look, the device needs constant care. I mean, true, I'm the only one who knows how to work it. You don't have to kill me for it, you're not a violent race. I mean, you may have stunned us a few more times than I would have liked, but who's to say we didn't deserve it.

JDr. Jackson

Rodney, they're just suits-

Yes, suits. Suits that house one of the smartest races that ever evolved. The Asgards, I've always been a big fan of the Asgards. Some of my best friends are Asgards.

JDr. Jackson

They're empty suits. (waves his hand in front of their helmets) See?

[deflated] Yeah, I know I was uh...

JDr. Jackson

You were...?

Yeah, it's not important.