Lt. Ford quotes from Stargate Atlantis

Dr. Zelenka

Lt. Ford, would you mind being the subject of research papers on statistical improbabilities?

Is this some sort of payback for guys like me beating up guys like you in high school?

Dr. Beckett

Just try to stay calm.

Calm?! You told me I have a million tiny robots running through my veins whose only purpose is to terrorize and kill me. You stay calm!

Is time-travel possible?

Dr. McKay

Well, according to Einstein's General Theory of Relativity, there's nothing in the laws of physics to prevent it. Extremely difficult to achieve, mind you – you need the technology to manipulate black holes to create wormholes not only through points in space, but time.

Maj. Sheppard

Not to mention a really nice De Lorean.

Dr. McKay

Don't even get me started on that movie!

Maj. Sheppard

I liked that movie!

Dr. McKay

[to John, Aiden and Teyla] I’m heading to bed.

Maj. Sheppard

Ah, which bed might that be?

Rodney

Huh, what?

Think Allina might have a little crush on you, Doc.

Dr. McKay

She does?

Teyla

It is very clear to us all.

Dr. McKay

It is?

Maj. Sheppard

To everyone but you, apparently.

Dr. Beckett

What shall I say?

Uh…uh…"I miss you"? "I wish you were here"?

Dr. Beckett

I wish who was here?

I don't know. Who do you wish was here?

Dr. Beckett

Nobody! I wish I wasn't bloody here!

You didn't say anything that would require security clearance, did you?

Dr. Zelenka

Security clearance?

Dr McKay

I got a little... [referring to energy spike]

[jokingly] A little what? McKay! You got a little what? [Sheppard looks at Ford disapprovingly] What? Oh, it's okay when you guys make fun of me then, huh?

Maj. Sheppard

What about M1K-439?

Which one's that?

Maj. Sheppard

The one with all the waterfalls

See, why can't we just call it 'Planet Waterfall'? [Sheppard gives him "the look"] What? I say we should just give them names.

How about next time you can be the bait?

Maj. Sheppard

Yeah, next time. Maybe...

You didn't really buy that "I want to go home" speech, did you? Always underestimated me, Sheppard. You need to stop doing that. Complete the mission and McKay lives.

Lt. Col. Sheppard

We can't complete the mission, Ford. It's a bad plan.

You said it was a great plan.

Lt. Col. Sheppard

You didn't buy the whole “it's a great plan” speech, did you?