Rodney McKay quotes from Stargate Atlantis

Can we submerge the city again?

Dr. McKay

It's a city, not a yo-yo.

Dr. Weir

Ok, what are our options?

Dr. McKay

Let me see, we've got quick death, slow death, painful death, cold, lonely death...

Dr. McKay

[whispering] They're scanning for us.

Dr. Weir

Why are you whispering?

Dr. McKay

I don't know, it just seemed like the right thing to do.

Hermiod

What are you doing?

Dr. McKay

I'm just checking something—I'm sure it is impossible.

Dr. McKay

Crap!

Hermiod

What did you do?

Dr. McKay

I just ran it through a translation program—it's Wraith.

Hermiod

"Crap" indeed.

Dr. McKay

Don't stare. He hates it when people stare.

Lt. Col Sheppard

[whispers] Am I the only one who thinks it's strange we're working with an alien?

Dr. McKay

Intergalactic hyper drive technology is kind of new to us, so we need his help.

Lt. Col. Sheppard

Is he supposed to be naked like that?

Dr. McKay

My nose is peeling! [to Carson] Do you have, uh, any moisturizer?

Dr. Beckett

Yes Rodney.

Dr. McKay

Oh, we should get that.

Dr. Beckett

[sigh] Yes Rodney.

Dr McKay

Look, I want to get Ford back just as much as everyone else. But have you seen my complexion?

Teyla

[sarcastictly] Yes.

Dr McKay

It's very fair. This isn't fair.

Dr McKay

So what kind of training do you guys have to go through to get this sort of mission?

You guys?

Dr McKay

Yeah, army, navy, air force, marines.

And by this mission you mean hunting down an escaped weapons specialist hopped up on Wraith drugs in the pitch black of an alien planet?

Dr McKay

Yes.

Actually, I think I skipped that course in major school.

Wow, you must really be some kind of genius.

Dr McKay

Well, as a matter of fact I ...eh, wait a minute, why would you say that now?

Something has to have kept Col. Sheppard from shooting you all this time.

Dr. Beckett

You have a date Rodney? With a woman?

Dr. McKay

It is simply two adults sharing some friendly— Yes, with a woman!

Lt. Col. Sheppard

Maybe there's something wrong with him an MRI wouldn't pick up, if you know what I mean.

Dr. McKay

I'm not crazy, I just have another consciousness in my brain.

Lt. Col. Sheppard

So he just looks crazy?

Dr. McKay

I'm sure I do, but only because Dr. Fumbles McStupid here was in way over his head!

Dr. Zelenka

Yes! I made a mistake trying to save your life! Now, do you want to try and fix it, or do you want to continue to berate me some more?

Dr. McKay

I am perfectly capable of doing both at the same time.

[as Cadman] Wait. [walks over to Beckett and kisses him, causing the others to shift uncomfortably] Just in case it doesn't work. [McKay regains control and backs away in horror] Just... just... hit it!

Dr. McKay

What are you - Oh, my gosh, he's tasting it! [to Ronon] You don't know what that is, that could be their laundry!

Ronon

Pretty good.

Dr. McKay

Oh, yes. Good idea. And when you're finished with their poridge, Why don't we try their beds?

Ronon

[to Rodney] Want some?

Dr. McKay

How good is it?

Lt. Col. Sheppard

Leave it be, Goldilocks.

Teyla

Do you kill all your violent criminals on Earth?

Dr. McKay

[Looks at Col. Sheppard] Certain countries, yes.

Lt. Col. Sheppard

Can we not get into this right now?

Teyla

Are you all right?

Dr. McKay

I think I chipped a tooth. Did I chip a tooth? Am I bleeding? Because I am a high risk for endocarditis.

Lt. Col. Sheppard

Hi, folks. I hope I didn't crash-land on anybody.